Afraid to buy anything or feel excited...

Re: Afraid to buy anything or feel excited...

• bigtex11 member

  February 2012

  I'm 24 weeks and I feel exactly the same way.  I truly wish I didn't feel like this and I soooo want to be one of those pregnant ladies decorating their nursery and buying cute outfits but I'm so paralyzed with fear that I can't bring myself to have any fun!!  Anyways, your post made me feel better and you are definitely not alone.

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• Temp6354875004994

  February 2012

  okay honey, from one pregnant mama to another, take a deep breath.  You are fine and healthy.  Your baby is fine and healthy.  You are 25 weeks, even if the baby was born TODAY, your baby has a 60% survival rate, that is pretty darn good (especially considering there are NO signs that baby will come early).  I'm going to be straight with you here, and keep it real real.  You are PREGNANT, and this baby is going to be here in 3 months.  She is going to be happy and healthy, and you are going to be a great mama.  Now it's time to face it.

  I understand the not wanting to get things going, but I recommend you start because there is a lot to do, and you don't want to do it all at the end (because you will stress yourself out).

  So start small, and choose to do something.  Unpack those clothes, make a registry, go to a cute baby store and buy 1 outfit (just start by buying 1).

  And, I would recommend ordering your nursery furniture before 1 month before your baby is due, because your furniture could be back ordered.  And all that baby stuff takes a while to put together, give yourself some time.  There is also the possibility that baby could come a couple weeks early, and it would be nice to have a place to lay her.

  So again, take a deep breath, and realize, your healthy and so if your baby, and it's time for you to have some fun with this pregnancy.  Go buy yourself and your little one something special.
  

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• mamameg11 member

  February 2012

  I think everyone has moments where they worry something could be wrong with their pregnancy. We have very little control over what's going on in there. However, stress is definitely not good for the baby. I would try to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible and put the worry out of your mind. There are thousands of women who would die to be in your place right now. I have a friend who has been trying for 5 years! Whenever I feel upset about pregnancy or feel like complaining about icky pregnancy symptoms, I think of her and helps me realize I am so lucky just to be pregnant. And if something were to happen (which isn't likely bc you've made it this far) who cares if you can't return the crib?! Wouldn't you likely try for another baby at some point in the near future anyways and then be able to use the same crib? Start small if you need to - maybe don't buy the crib but go sort through the clothes you've been given. Being more positive is going to be better for both you and baby.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• HeyThereGoodLookin

  February 2012

  I'm sorry you're feeling so worried. I was in the same boat a few weeks ago. Pregnancy and the general idea of knowing you're going to have a baby can feel a bit unreal at times. Sometimes I still find myself in disbelief that there's someone "in there".

  I guess I don't really have any great advice, but I do know that nothing bad will happen only because you got excited. I don't mean this to sound grim, but even if something did happen (hopefully nothing does), I'm not sure that would be something you could ever prepare yourself for. The most we can do is take care of ourselves the best we can and enjoy each day that goes by with our LO's still healthy.

  Hope you feel better soon! 

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• WordSmith85

  February 2012

  I can understand about not feeling like a "normal" excited pregnant mommy-to-be. I also have an anterior placenta, so I have felt absolutely no movement. Somedays I just look down and feel like I've gotten really fat, not that there's a baby there.

  I think the trick is maybe just to "make it real" for yourself. You may not feel like it, but maybe starting small and building into the big preparation events will trigger something. I'm hoping that our elective u/s in a week and half tells us the gender, so I can start using a name for this baby, then buying it cute clothes, then picking out the nursery colors, etc. Till then, everything feels like it's on hold, especially with no little kicks.

  Maybe you can start small, like picking the store you'd like to register at.

  

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• mkflower3000 member

  February 2012

  I'm torn with that - on the one hand I know EXACTLY what you mean and feel it too to an extent... On the other, I'm forcing myself to override those feelings because it doesn't seem fair to me or LO to worry myself sick for no actual reason. It IS though though - DH and I didn't allow ourselves to be in any way excited until the 2nd tri just in case, and I think we got so used to being cautious that now we can't let go of those emotions. Like you, I have the hardest time feeling excitement. It's even harder when you read posts about later term miscarriages or stories about still birth. There was one MC story today on the 2nd tri board and I can't stop thinking about it... 

  It's still important to remember that sometimes there's nothing we can do one way or another - whether we worry not, whether we buy things or not, some things are just out of our hands. Don't let it stop you from getting the things that you need ahead of time, though, because when LO does come and is perfectly OK (because she will be!) you don't want to be unprepared. 

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• jandb2011

  February 2012

  With my first pregnancy, this is how I felt.  My step-mom had to drag me to a store to register and I didn't buy anything (for my LO) the whole pregnancy.  Luckily, I received everything I needed at my baby shower (crib, stroller, carseat, clothes, etc). 

  I set the crib up a few weeks before he was born and put the stroller together and organized all the "baby stuff", as well.

  Even after he was born, I had a difficult time bonding w/ him because I still worried that something was going to happen to him, though I completely obsessed over his care.

  After all was said and done and I looked back on my pregnancy and post-partum, a couple yrs later, I realized I was depressed.  I just didn't know it then.

  Maybe you should talk to your Dr about how you're feeling and look into getting some therapy.  I think it would have helped me some, if I had done that.

  Good luck w/ everything and I hope you can feel better and more relaxed/excited about your pregnancy soon  :-)

  

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• june0000

  February 2012

  I never realized that preganacy would make me feel this way as well. I thought once your pregnant everything is good, and thank God for me it has been. I feel so blessed and thankful for this miracle. It is normal to be scared, but if you are healthy and the doctors say everything is good, then enjoy yourself. Start one step at a time just like anther Bumpie suggested.

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