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3rd Trimester
rosiecatz
member
baby shower gifts
rosiecatz
member
I just recently had my first baby shower. I am pretty sure shower guests knew that I was registered the info was on the evite. It ws somewhat frustrating because in the end guests ended up giving mostly baby clothes and pretty much nothing on the registry. It almost seems as if guests didn't even look at the registry items that I had registered for. I appreciate the clothing but it would have been nice if folks had looked at the registry and gotten items on the registry. I have a work baby shower coming up in March. Does anyone have any tips as to how I can gently encourage folks to look at my registries and purchase items from the registry or to get gift cards? I am registered at both Babies R Us and Target.
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Re: baby shower gifts
a shower is a gift....be thankful someone was kind to throw one for you and be thankful that people care about you and your baby enough to take time out of their day to buy you a gift and attend your shower.
as crappy as the other posts are... they are very true...
you cant tell people how and where to spend their money....
sorry...
As crappy? Wait... what? I wasn't being crappy. I was being honest. I understand where she's coming from... but you can't ASK for gifts from X, Y, Z. Sure, it'd be awesome if everyone stuck to the registry... but people don't and it's not our place to tell them to. Shoot, I got used items from someone as a gift... USED. I couldn't think about exchanging them. But at the end of the day, it is was it is and I would never think twice about asking someone to shop off my registry.
There is no polite way to do that. Sorry.
Do you have a good assortment of things on your registries in all different price ranges?
True you can't tell people where to buy you a gift. However, I think in my experience (FTM but been to many showers) the type of gifts totally depends on the age and group of people at the shower. For example: my first shower was all my moms friends. I got a lot of medium to large ticket items off my registry ie: Crib, mattress, rock n play, bouncy chair, bath tub, books etc....But these were all women in their 50's and 60's who have grand kids and money to spend.
I find that when the group is young and its a group of women where not many of them have kids then those women tend to buy the non necessary but super cute items like clothes.
It is frustrating though because I always buy off registries. Thats why you have them because its stuff you want and need.
not everyone gets that 
Hopefully your work pals will come through for you 
GL!
I know you were being honest... thats why I said its crappy... not saying you were being crappy... just that its a crappy situation to be in. (hence why I said they are crappy, but true) sorry for the confusion on my terminology...
I am totally agreeing with you that you cant TELL people where to shop at...
someone got you used stuff? eww, that sucks!
I have noticed the same thing...girls without kids who don't really know how important those "needed" items are will buy clothes. That's why I always did before I got pregnant! But I agree, it sucks! But you can't tell people to buy from your registry.
Son 4/27/12, Son 10/15/14, Daughter 9/29/16....Baby #4 due 10/09/19! Apparently we get really bored in January
Sorry, but no. There is no way you can tell people where to buy gifts for you without coming across as a totally spoiled, ungrateful brat.
I'm not even a big fan of the little cards that go in invitations that say "So and so is registered at Target", but at least those aren't pushy. Saying anything more than that is just beyond tacky.
Showers are not a requirement or necessity. They are a gift that someone spent time and money throwing for you. They didn't have to do this. Have you ever thrown a shower? If so, then you know how big of a giant PITA it can be, and how expensive it can get.
Anything you receive from someone else to help you dress, feed, or otherwise care for your baby is a kind gesture. They didn't have to do anything for you. People like to buy baby clothes. You can't blame them. If you don't have a newborn in your life, you're going to get excited to buy the cute little clothes.
Just take what you get. Be thankful. If you get things you genuinely know you can't use or absolutely hate, then return them to the store. Walmart & Target's policy is to give you a gift card if you don't have a receipt anyway.
Oh dur... Sorry! I was thinking "I really did have good intentions!"... Anyways, yes, I got used gifts... from B/SIL, nevertheless. They tried to pass off the ripped up and dusty toy off as new and then other BIL said "Wait, didn't I buy nephew that toy?"... BIL came back with "Oh, well he liked it so much we bought one for soon-to-be-nephew." When we got it home, DH was like "let me look at this" and it was so very obviously used! Grimey and all. What's sad is, we really went all out for B/SIL for their LO and continue to do so. I'm not all about tit for tat... but it's really sad because we continue to extend ourselves past our means but I refuse to not give to nephew.
I agree with everyone else, you cant make someone buy things off your registry. I didnt even expect them to, to be honest. People buy what they think you will like/need. Sometimes those items arent what you like/need, in that case return it.
I have kept all the baby clothes I got and let me tell you it is ALOT, but I left the tags on 80% of it. If she grows out of it before I can put her in it, I will return and either buy something that will fit her or buy diapers or something that is for her but needed at that time.
The best you can do is put your registry on the invite, that is as much of a suggestion as you can give.
Even though "you can't make people buy from the registry" you can at least suggest them to buy from there...That's the idea of a registry. Tacky or not, I did mention to my guests that "we have tons of clothes and blankets already". And they understood. Nobody got offended...and I got a lot of things from the registry. Some still came with clothes on a side , but not too many, thank God! I got lucky that my friends wanted really to help me with what they have bought not just "to spend their money" ...So I guess that's why they didn't feel offended by me not needing clothes...
Another thing to consider is that you cannot return too many things without receipts...
Did the invites already go out for the one in March?
If not, include a note that specifically says that "baby's closet is already full" -- People will still give you clothes but they may be more likely to stick to the list. Every shower that I have ever went to, people give clothes... Not the actual items that you need. It is frustrating.
I received a closet full of clothes handed down from my nieces... I included a note in the invite saying "Thanks to K8's two nieces... Baby E's closet is already full"
Something like that may deter people from buying all of the clothes and no, it isn't tacky. As to that being bratty... How on earth is wanting specific necessities for your child bratty? As much as a shower is a gift... baby stuff is expensive. I can't afford to go buy the stuff I registered for. That is why I am having the shower. You are entitled to reinforce the fact that you registered and that you registered for a reason.
GOOD LUCK!
TACKY! Bottom line is, people don't HAVE to buy you anything at all! You should wait to have a child until you can afford it. Blah.
Then came a miscarriage March '11
Then came a baby in the baby carriage May 16, 12
Waiting on our second little peanut!
I completely understand where you're coming from. I spent a lot of time picking out items for my baby registry. And I got like 3 small items off of it (from my younger friends). Everyone else either gave me clothes or blankets. I joked at the shower that afterwards I could sew some of the small blankets together to make a big blanket. I had around 30 people at me shower. Opening presents was fun, but I think the guests got a bit bored looking at the same items over and over again. You would think that some of my guests would know how to use an online registry but I guess not. The same thing happened with my wedding registry. It really was a bummer to get a million of the same things.
Unfortunately, theres not really much you can do. Like people above said, you cant tell people how to spend their money. Keep the tags on and return some stuff. Maybe tell them specific items you need and mention that you already have sooo many clothes.
Oh and the poster above me was quite rude. Dont listen to her. I think its fine that you were a it disappointed. You didn't enjoy receiving gifts that weren't useful to you & were repeats; that makes you frugal (not unable to afford a baby). Some people!!
TACKY! Bottom line is, people don't HAVE to buy you anything at all! You should wait to have a child until you can afford it. Blah.
JennyJensing I appreciate you sharing your opinion above but not all of us can be as lucky as you probably are and be extremely well off financially when having a baby. I couldn't have predicted my husband was going to get laid off early in my pregnancy and have a difficult time getting another job the job market sucks in New Mexico). A little bit of empathy would be nice. I am now the person bringing in the majority of income in our family while also working full time and being pregnant. I am not complaining just explaining my situation.
I wasn't expecting folks to buy anything, it just seems like if people are going to spend the money to buy a gift it might as well be something that is going to be the most useful for the baby and is most needed.
There is so much wrong with this that I don't even know where to start.
I don't disagree with you, but unfortunately those are the breaks. I like PP's suggestions of leaving the tags on clothes and returning them for credit. BRU and Target both have a pretty liberal return policy. As far as your registry is concerned, I'd make sure you have a good assortment of items on there in a variety of price ranges. If, for example, you only have very expensive things on there, it can be off-putting. We are definitely not what you would consider "rich", but we still managed to get everything we need (even with TONS of outfits from the shower!) Good luck!
There's really no good way to tell shower guests what they should bring you for a gift. If the eVite had your registry info on it, that's about as good as you can do. As for the work shower, do you have a co-worker friend that you could casually mention the registries to, so they can pass the info along to everyone and you don't have to?
If I were you I'd just return the outfits or whatever you got that you don't want/need. Even if you're not sure where the guests bought them, Target and Babies R Us will probably have a lot of the same stuff in stock and they probably won't care about returning it as long as they can give you a store credit instead of cash. Then you can use it to buy the stuff off your registry that you actually wanted! I did this a little with my bridal registry a few years back.
Bottom line- a gift is a gift, and you shouldn't rely on showers to provide you with all the things you really need. I had my shower last Sunday, and I was lucky enough to get a lot of the things I really wanted, but I made sure that I'd already bought all the absolute necessities (crib, bassinet, pack n play, diapers, etc.) so I wouldn't have to have a last-minute dash to the baby store if my friends didn't come through.