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August 2012 Moms
Crazy MIL. I can't even. (long vent)
I talked to my mom on the phone last night... she told me my MIL called her that weekend and asked if she can come stay at mom's house and give her a "labor lesson."
Back story- my MIL is a neo-natal nurse. She teaches childbirth classes, and is a certified lactation specialist. Basically, she's a baby rockstar. She used to have a business traveling to people's homes and giving birthing classes. BUT she is also very controlling and imposing, especially when it comes to her kids. She is very against all drugs/medications during birth, wants me to only breastfeed (natch). Shes very judgmental when it comes to this stuff. She's all bent out of shape because we are building our registry and are concerned about things like strollers instead of prepping for labor. AT 16 WEEKS.
Apparently she told my mom all these things she wants to make sure I don't do. No pacifier. Obviously no pain meds. All this other stuff that she is so concerned we will do and harm our baby. She wants to give my mom some tips to help me get through labor and delivery because she knows I won't want MIL there (boy is she ever right).
I freaking love my mom. She took a bullet for me for sure. She agreed to let her come down and give her the lesson (they live 7 hours apart). She told my MIL that they have to let me and DH learn our own way... it's ok to give information, but at the end of the day we are going to do what we want to do and there's nothing they can do about it. Judging and criticizing will only push her out of our lives.
I truly value her knowledge and experience. I'm really thankful to have her BF information and guidance. But I CANNOT stand the judgmental way she is telling us how to do this. It's our baby. Not hers. If she's not careful she's going to push herself so far outside this process she won't even be involved.
Ugh, sorry for such a long rant. I just had to get it all out.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Crazy MIL. I can't even. (long vent)
It's gotta be hard having a know it all in the family, relating to any topic. I think we all need to do what is best for us.
Also, I thought using pacifiers helped reduce the risk of SIDS? To me that outweighs any negative of using a pacifier.
nice to have the advice, but sorry you're having to deal with someone that pushy. yay to your mom for standing up to her. has your DH tried talking to her about all this yet?
As someone with a crazy pushy parent, i can relate, but my parents have already pretty much pushed themselves out of my life...I just have to make the final call telling them we need the space.
4/26/11 HPT+ 4/28/11 +Blood test! HCG 67 5/24/11 Blighted Ovum.
6/11-11/11 Non ovulatory cycles
12/18/11 HPT+ 12/20/11 +Blood Test HCG 165 12/27/11 Beta test HCG 6411
12/29/11 Beta 11264 1/30/11 Wiggler w/ HB 160+
Grow Baby Grow!!!! Please be our rainbow!
Rainbow Born 8/22, so in love with our little girl!
Holy crap! Talk about controlling! I wouldn't even want a "lesson" from her with that attitude. She isn't the first and only person to have a baby.
Heck no.
Emily 8.8.08
Madeline 1.2.11
William 8.5.12
I don't know why others feel as though they have the ability to tell you how to raise your child, or apparently give birth to it. I'm currently going through something a little similar, in that we are scared to death to let our extended families know we're expecting for fear of m/c again. MIL is reportedly dying to tell, and just texted last night that her sister (DH's aunt) is "so mad" at the other sister for not telling sooner that DH's cousin is expecting in OCTOBER-she's freaking 7 weeks! I swear if this aunt says anything to me about my choice not to tell right away, I will flip out. It's MY baby, and MY business, and it's not her business until I choose to make it hers!
And OP, it's not your MIL's business about how you have your baby or whether it gets a pacifier. Family drama stinks!
OMG I thought it was only me with the psycho MIL! Mine is bad but not that bad. She says nothing to me about what I should and shouldn't be doing she goes off on my DH about it all. I am not used to being pregnant, even at 14 weeks, and I still do things that I probably shouldn't...like lift laundry baskets and stuff. BUT I want to do these things and she gets all mad about it!!
Sorry, I needed a vent too there I guess LOL I am very sorry about your MIL. She will need to chill out because like your mom said, it is YOUR baby and it is YOUR right to make any decisions that you want!! Stay strong and don't let her push you too hard!