Scheduled c-section or induction

Mnq · February 2012

Anyone else NOT planning on sharing their scheduled cesarean date? I don't understand why people act like their feelings are hurt because I want to keep that between my DH and I. I also don't want people blowing me up on the phone, text or Facebook. Since I don't get to experience going through labor when the baby is ready to come out on it's on, I would think people would be more understanding about this instead of getting so worked up.

The only other person who needs to know is whoever will help us take care of the kids initially.

PenelopePond · February 2012

I will be having a scheduled c-section and it would never occur to me to not tell. I'm not sure of the big deal. No one will be there except the people I want and it's not like my phone is coming in the OR with me.

GreyLove · February 2012

If I end up having to have a scheduled C-section or induction I will probably only tell family and very close friends. I have a few acquaintances and coworkers who would be absolutely obnoxious about things and I'd rather them not be in the loop.

Manx4 · February 2012

I shared when I was scheduled for the induction with my son, the only people who were there while I was in labor was DH, my mom, and my in laws. Everyone else waited until after he was born to visit. I had a long labor with DS so it was kind of nice to read the support and cheers on FB and texts.

I don't know, I didn't care. If I have to be induced this time (or c-section) I'll tell again.

hterry85 · February 2012

Honestly, if people don't know then you're phone/fb will probably be blowing up even more.

"Baby yet?"

"How about now?"

"Baby must be coming soon!"

And so on and so on and so on. My one bit of advice is to turn off FB chat before the last couple of weeks hit.

jennakg · February 2012

I'm not planning on scheduling either, but I see your point. I would probably do the same thing. In fact, if I have to schedule it I will definitely do the same thing!

Mnq · February 2012

I can understand why it's no big deal for some people.

I just wanted to know if there was anyone who was NOT planning on sharing.

skyejo · February 2012

hterry85:

Honestly, if people don't know then you're phone/fb will probably be blowing up even more.

"Baby yet?"

"How about now?"

"Baby must be coming soon!"

And so on and so on and so on. My one bit of advice is to turn off FB chat before the last couple of weeks hit.

OMG this. I was 9 days late with Parker and I don't know how many times I heard, "Are you due October 2012 or 2011?" It got so annoying towards the end. Especially when everyone starts asking around 37/38 weeks.

Mnq · February 2012

hterry85 -

Great idea! I will definitely turn off chat as the date approaches. Thank you:-)

mrsjenni · February 2012

It's going to be more annoying if you don't tell. I would never think to not tell people if everything is scheduled. Who cares? I'm sorry if their concern for your baby and/or your health bothers you.

I've had a scheduled induction twice. With DS I didn't know until the DAY OF that I was going to be induced. I had an idea and was packed just in case, but my BP kept rising and so they induced at 38w. With #2 they wouldn't let me go past 39w, but since I was 6cm for 3 weeks, I never thought I'd make it. Yeah right... I made it.

The same thing will happen this time, I'll be induced on September 10th if I make it to 39w. And I plan to tell whomever asks. It would be strange not too, especially considering my history of inductions.

Mnq · February 2012

mrs.jenni - Um, I care. And it works for me not to tell. We all have different experiences and I can respect anyone who doesn't care about telling the scheduled date or not. For me personally having had 2 scheduled c-sections before mentally it was good for me that no one knew. I told me family and friends they would get a call or text immediately following the birth. That way I didn't get the constant "Did you have the baby yet?"

Everyone deals with things differently and I really just wanted to know who had the same feelings as I did. That's all.

mrsjenni · February 2012

Mnq:
mrs.jenni - Um, I care. And it works for me not to tell. We all have different experiences and I can respect anyone who doesn't care about telling the scheduled date or not. For me personally having had 2 scheduled c-sections before mentally it was good for me that no one knew. I told me family and friends they would get a call or text immediately following the birth. That way I didn't get the constant "Did you have the baby yet?"
Everyone deals with things differently and I really just wanted to know who had the same feelings as I did. That's all.

So you only want to hear from people who agree with you then? Because that's all I read in your statement above.

PenelopePond · February 2012

mrs.jenni:
Mnq:
mrs.jenni - Um, I care. And it works for me not to tell. We all have different experiences and I can respect anyone who doesn't care about telling the scheduled date or not. For me personally having had 2 scheduled c-sections before mentally it was good for me that no one knew. I told me family and friends they would get a call or text immediately following the birth. That way I didn't get the constant "Did you have the baby yet?"
Everyone deals with things differently and I really just wanted to know who had the same feelings as I did. That's all.
So you only want to hear from people who agree with you then? Because that's all I read in your statement above.

amanda31H · February 2012

AndreaR1983:
I will be having a scheduled c-section and it would never occur to me to not tell. I'm not sure of the big deal. No one will be there except the people I want and it's not like my phone is coming in the OR with me.

This - except I'm not 100% sure yet that I'll do the RC.

If people really "blow up your phone" - turn it off. Last time, I sent out an email to all my friends and family saying that after the girls were born my BF would call everyone with the news. She had a list of names and numbers and split it between my other friend. Easy.

mlf625 · February 2012

Confused This may actually be one of the more bizarre things I've seen on here lately. Why on earth would it matter if people knew your c/s date?

Then again, I don't feel ripped off for not "getting to experience" labor and such. I think my c/s birth is just as exciting as any labor, and those I care about deserve to share in the excitement if they want to.

Honestly, if I were your IRL friend and you told me you wouldn't tell me your c/s date, I'd think you had serious issues.

gingerfamily · February 2012

It wouldn't even occur to me to not share the date, if I knew it! Sorry but I'd probably be slightly offended as well, if I was a loved one.

DeerHunter79 · February 2012

I guess I dont get your reasoning for not wanting to share?? I dont see the big deal since either way people are probably going to be calling, texting etc.

And I also dont get just because you have to have a c/s why people should be more understanding to your needs???

ilovelife · February 2012

DeerHunter79:

I guess I dont get your reasoning for not wanting to share?? I dont see the big deal since either way people are probably going to be calling, texting etc.

And I also dont get just because you have to have a c/s why people should be more understanding to your needs???

This. I'm confused. I am having a scheduled c/s and will be asking friends and family for prayers! I don't feel like it's necessary to keep it a secret. People go bananas over babies...and I like the idea of people checking my fb page like crazy just to see if I had my baby yet. There's something about receiving all those positive comments about your new baby that makes me smile!

ammagin · February 2012

I don't normally jump on these bandwagons but I think it's a bit strange not to share your c/s date. If my SIL and Bro didn't tell me the c/s date last December I would have been offended for sure and think they were being weird. None of us bothered them that day at all (well other than my dad, I think). I just patiently waited by the computer and phone for someone to pass along the good news. It's your choice not to share but be totally prepared for people to have negative reactions to it because it's very odd and it won't prevent the bugging.

OSUWifey09 · February 2012

Yeah...I don't see the big deal either. I mean, I'm not gonna be like, "ZOMG, I have to be induced, come see me while I wait!", but if I have to be induced, I won't hide it.

I was induced with DS because of high blood pressure. I told friends and family, and I said something on FB when I went into the hospital [but I was way more of an AW back then...nowadays, I barely post on FB]. It wasn't that big of a secret that I was having a baby. If I have to be induced again [or need a c/s], I won't go all Secret Service and hide it.

Jan12Bride · February 2012

I'll be having a repeat scheduled section and I don't see any reason why not to tell people. We told people the scheduled date with DD and it was awesome to have people texting/emailing us to say they were thinking about us. It was still just DH and I at the hospital and it was a wonderful experience.

If it stresses you out that badly, just tell people it hasn't been scheduled yet or just give them your due date. *shrugs*

samk213 · February 2012

I will be having a scheduled c-section (unless baby comes way early on its own). The closer we get to finding out what that date is, I do plan on telling friends and family. I will need my mom to watch DS, and I'd certainly accept all the prayers and well wishes while I'm in major surgery from my loved ones. The one thing I will change this time after my c-section is that my inlaws will definitely not be just showing up at the hospital the same day as the birth. I was incredibly tired, still had the catheter in and they just came on up. We plan on having DS come later that day to see his new sibling, but that's it. Everyone else can visit the next day.

damabo80 · February 2012

AndreaR1983:
I will be having a scheduled c-section and it would never occur to me to not tell. I'm not sure of the big deal. No one will be there except the people I want and it's not like my phone is coming in the OR with me.

Ditto. I actually imagine telling people will eliminate the constant questions of "had the baby yet?"

Unless you have a cray cray MIL who is going to barge into the OR with guns blazing to see the birth of "her babeeeee", I don't see any point in staying mum on the scheduled bday.

kc02 · February 2012

I'll likely be induced for high blood pressure and we'll share with my family and very close friends. We will not tell DH's family, but that's a special circumstance, we don't speak with them, and if they find out, they will pop up in the hospital (they are local) and we do not want to deal with that stress during labor or right after having given birth. I won't announce on FB or anything, but my family and friends are special to me and I want them to be able to share in our excitement.

MrsSapphire · February 2012

I'm hoping not to have to be induced or have a scheduled section, but if I do, I don't plan on announcing the date to everyone on Facebook. I won't keep it secret if people ask but I figure most people don't care and the ones who do will be told in person if they ask. More than likely it will be before my due date so I probably won't field too many "Did you have the babies yet?" questions.

freeatlast2014 · February 2012

If I end up with a RCS I would not hide the date. That seems odd. I can understand your not wanting people's unsolicited advice about whether a c/s is a good idea or bad...but other than that, I don't see why to keep it a secret. Of course, I'll only tell who asks...I don't have FB so not sure the etiquette there but I probably wouldn't post the date.

We actually did keep our name a secret which people thought was super annoying, but that's because I knew most people would b!tch about it and I didn't want to hear it. I've told 2 people our name if it's a girl this time around and was met with negative comments which confirms why my decision last time was a good one! However, I've known what I wanted to name my DD if I have one for many many years so I really don't care what they think this time around!!

Sorry, got off on a tangent there! LOL

MrsS10/20 · February 2012

If we choose to do a scheduled c-section this time, we won't share our date. I had an unplanned one w/ DD and we originally weren't telling pple until she arrived, but H called them as I was being rushed in to the OR. Our families were there, and I appreciated the prayers and support, but we never got that initial time with her. As the nurse put her in my arms, I was surrounded by literally 10 pple asking to have her next. This time I want it to be just us 4, so the only other person that will know if a friend that will keep DD.

Mnq · February 2012

Thank you MrsS10/20 (and a few others) for voicing your personal opinion on why you do NOT want to share your scheduled c-section date. I appreciate your honesty.

I honestly did not expect to get flamed for this... I asked a specific question and although I am well aware this is a public board, I was not asking a "Would you or wouldn't you" or "Is there something wrong with me" question. I already know the answer from people who think it's not a big deal or would like to have that extra support. And like I said, I totally respect that. I was speaking from personal experience on why I wasn't going to tell people.

It is so unnecessary for some you to say things like "there must be something wrong with you", "Who cares" or "If I were your friend IRL I'd think you had serious issues" all because I was talking about a personal experience regarding the birth of my children.

It's like someone who shares the news about a pregnancy early not understanding why another person decides to wait until they're in their 2nd trimester to share the news. Neither one has anything "wrong with them", or "has issues" - it just is what it is.

And I do have more personal reasons why I don't care to tell the actual date, but I now see I have to be very careful of what I share on this board. All this time I thought you all were supportive for the most part since we are going through the same thing at the same time but now I see some of you acting like "mean girls"/"cyber bullies" because someone doesn't share the same view as you do on this subject. And if you hate to jump on the bandwagon of being negative, then don't - it's really simple actually.

So go ahead, flame on. After seeing all the negative comments I felt compelled to say my last piece on the subject. The few people that actually answered my question was all I was interested in anyway so even though it is not of popular opinion it does feel good not to be alone in this situation.

Want a personalized experience?

Scheduled c-section or induction

Re: Scheduled c-section or induction

Choose Another Board

Search Boards