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March 2012 Moms
"Tortured" DH yesterday
So, DH was off work with me yesterday and I wanted him to participate in some baby prepping activities, including my weekly dr's appt. He was totally cool with it and is always very supportive. But I definitely took him out of his comfort zone...
He hasn't been to an appt with me in a while, and has never been (or wanted to be) in the room when the dr has done an internal exam. I really wanted him to be in there yesterday, though, because he is very good at thinking of and asking questions (much better than me).
I could tell how uncomfortable he was... He basically just stared at the ceiling or in another direction the whole time we were in the exam room. But he did ask a lot of good questions! When we left he asked, "Did the doctor wear a glove?!" I told him, of course he did! DH said, "Well, he must have whipped it off like Jesse James!"
That evening, I wanted to watch a couple educational DVDs that I got for us (in lieu of taking all the classes). About one quarter of the way through the breastfeeding DVD, he asked, "Is there a point where the dad comes in?" Apparently, it was making him nauseous (TBH, it was pretty graphic and was freaking me out a little too). I fast-forwarded to the "Dad section" and he was much happier. I watched the rest of the DVD on my own...
When all was said and done, he let me know that any more information like this can be communicated to him. There are just certain things he doesn't need to see! Any one else's SO this queasy?!
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Re: "Tortured" DH yesterday
Mine! He was like a deer in the headlights for our entire class. Partly my fault though - I didn't prepare him enough. He leaned over and asked, "What's a placenta?" He got to see it in the birthing video! I thought he was going to pass out!
He originally told me he didn't even want to be in the delivery room. He thought he had to be "down there" (as he calls it). Once I explained that he could stay by my head and he didn't have to look, or even cut the cord, he felt a lot better about it.
DH is coming with me to my next appointment. I'm making him stay in the room for the GBS and internal. He's going to have to get used to medical staff being near my vag if he wants to see his child born. Or future children.
And he's most definitely a fainter - they took 8 - 10 tubes of blood from me and I could see his face go white, I asked the nurse to put him in a chair in case he fainted. My OB also made a note of his queasiness in my chart for labor/delivery to be prepared. Yikes. I think I might be more worried about him than myself!
This was me when I had DD. When I got my epidural DH was across the room but watching and I asked if he was ok... the nurse was like did you just ask if he was ok and I was like yeah I want to make sure he isn't going to pass out. She just laughed. DH handled everything really well... better than I expected.
This sounds a lot like my DH. He has seen birthing videos before (don't ask me where, but he said he has...), so he was ready for that. But he is very squeamish about blood and we have discussed him staying up by my head. I do want him to cut the cord, but he's still a little iffy about it.
I do plan to have my mom and MIL in the room too, so if he needs to leave the room for a breather, I'll be OK with that.