Postpartum Depression
AshleyMF1983
member
I'm just done.
AshleyMF1983
member
I've been battling this depression since DD was born in July and I just can't take it anymore. I've been seeing a therapist since October and I've been on Zoloft (which has been increased many times). My baby has to be THE most difficult baby in the entire world. Honestly, I am to the point where I wish one morning I just don't wake up from my sleep. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm so mentally exhausted from this depression and I absolutely cannot continue living this way. I just needed to get this out...
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Re: I'm just done.
First, I am so, so sorry you're feeling this way. It certainly is not easy. First, I have to ask who prescribes your Zoloft? You should probably make an appointment with whoever that is, because it does not seem to be working. I took Zoloft during my pregnancy, and it actually made me feel worse. Maybe you need something different.
What has your therapist said about this? I kind of agree with PP, maybe you need someone new. Do you feel you are being helped at all by the therapist?
I know exactly what you mean about the depression being exhausting. That is exactly how I was feeling for a long time. Like you are just so drained you can't even stand it. But I have been seeing a really great therapist, and my doctor changed some of my meds, and added a new one, and I have been feeling better- my point being that you can too, with the right help! I am not going to say there are no tough days, but I promise, it can get better. Unfortunately, good help is hard to find, and you seem to have some not-so-helpful helpers.
I would start with a call to your doctor. Increasing a medication that doesn't work could actually worsen the problem. Then, if you don't feel the therapy is helping, perhaps try someone else. Honestly, sometimes it just isn't a good fit. I have had to switch therapists, and I have been glad I did. Good luck, I will be sending good thoughts your way. I hope you get some of these things straightened out and that you start to feel better very soon!
I know how you feel. This past summer, when I was experiencing the worst of PPD/OCD I felt the same way, and every morning was a struggle to get out of bed. I could barely stand to be around the little girl that I knew I loved so much....a horrible feeling. So first of all, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
It does sound maybe the Zoloft isn't working for you. I was on Zoloft to start out, and it worked for a bit, but seems to plateau after a few months. Mt psychiatrist changed my meds to Celexa and gave me some Xanax to help with the panic I was experiencing, and it really helped. It could be that you just need to be on a different brand of medicine. Also, if you are not finding the therapy to be helpful, you MUST switch. I know it's hard to break off a "relationship" with someone who is trying to help you, but the bottom line is you. You have to be feeling like the therapy is working for you. If it isn't, ask you general practicioner for a new referral, I have also found that my daughter's pediatrician has been a help in providing the names of counsellors, support groups, etc.
Please also, feel free to reach out at any time for help. I promise things will get betterm but it takes time. My daughter is 16 months, and though I am doing much much better, I still have times that are difficult. This week has not easy for example. Just be kind to yourself, and make sure that you get the right care for you. You will be just fine.