Did you tell anyone you were trying???

ikrystal · February 2012

I told some of my friends, but some people told us that you shouldn't really be telling people you are trying to get pregnant. Did you girls tell anyone or keep it secret for awhile? Just wondering if I'm breaking some weird rule!

notquiteblushing · February 2012

I told my mom right away which I sort of regret because of course now I feel like I have to be on babywatch every time I see her.

And I've told a few friends since then too since they know how old we are and that we want kids so they've asked for a while. Only one friend do I regret telling because he asks me once a week if I'm pregnant. I've enjoyed being table to talk about it with some friends that can relate. I don't think it's weird to tell close friends.

dittm1aj · February 2012

I only told a close couple of my friends because I need someone to talk to that has gone through it. I'm not telling our family because I'm not comfortable telling them because I feel they will always be expecting an announcement. I kinda want to suprise them if/when we do get pregnant.

oliveoil695 · February 2012

It's a personal choice. I told a few close friends, but not my family/co-workers, etc. I'm glad I didn't now. When I first starting TTC I was sure I would be preggo in the first 2 months-3 tops! Now I'm in my 9th cycle... I would feel a lot of pressure if more people knew. Those who know also know I will bring it up if I want to talk about it. I personally get really sad when I find out I'm not pregnant and the last thing I want to do is to have people constantly asking me about it.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

Did they say why you should not tell anyone? If it is a ?rule? I think it is a stupid one. We are not hiding our TTC from anyone. Furthermore we have no intentions of waiting until the 2nd trimester to announce any pregnancies. I know there is some asinine theory that you may jinx the pregnancy if you announce too early. But I have not heard one about TTC.

I believe the general population knows squat about fertility in general, how hard it is to actually conceive and how prevalent miscarriages are. I believe this is not known because no one talks about it. So therefore I talk about it. People know that we are trying so they don?t ask about it. We had more ?when are you having a baby? questions before we announced we were TTC.

But at the end of the day it?s a personal choice.

cali4niagirl · February 2012

Jessii266:
Did they say why you should not tell anyone? If it is a ?rule? I think it is a stupid one. We are not hiding our TTC from anyone. Furthermore we have no intentions of waiting until the 2nd trimester to announce any pregnancies. I know there is some asinine theory that you may jinx the pregnancy if you announce too early. But I have not heard one about TTC.

I believe the general population knows squat about fertility in general, how hard it is to actually conceive and how prevalent miscarriages are. I believe this is not known because no one talks about it. So therefore I talk about it. People know that we are trying so they don?t ask about it. We had more ?when are you having a baby? questions before we announced we were TTC.

But at the end of the day it?s a personal choice.

Yes Love this!

We told our families that we were trying and they really haven't brought it up at all. I also told a couple of my close friends, one of whom has a child so I can talk to her about some things, but even though I've told people I still don't have anybody to really talk to about TTC, since none of them have actually gone through this experience. So I told that friend about charting & temping & such and now I have a friend to talk to. Smile

kellyrn9956 · February 2012

Most people in my life know we are TTC, and know about our struggles. It's easier than fielding questions all the time, or hearing "You're next!" at family gatherings. Initially, I told my mom and sister we were TTC. Now pretty much everyone knows, from grandparents, to aunts and uncles, to coworkers. And I'm very comfortable with that.

megs2011 · February 2012

I didn't have to tell anyone.. they are just assumed. If we told them no, then they would just laugh at us. I don't think it's a big deal telling people as long as you are ok that if it takes a while you have to tell them month after month that you aren't. That doesn't bug us so we don't care if people know.

BlueEyedDreamer · February 2012

I told my BFF a few months ago, but that's it. I really didn't want everyone we know breathing down our necks about it, and DH and I are private people in general. So that's what's worked for us. I may tell a couple more people as we move on to testing and possible treatment.

I don't think it's wrong to tell people at all - I think each person should do what they feel comfortable with...

ajetter · February 2012

I told my mom last cycle, when I was on CD like 45 with no sign of AF and BFNs. A few friends have asked when DD is going to get a sibling, and my response is we are open to a second child. Not straight up we are humping it out every chance we get, but also not denying the fact that we want another baby.

maidofbride · February 2012

I told 2 friends and one of my sisters. I don't want to tell anyone in my family because they are already putting enough pressure on me to get pregnant. It really is a personal choice. For me keeping it a secret helps with eliminating stress and will add to the surprise when I finally do get pregnant.

janice9821 · February 2012

DH told his brother right away, who promptly told the rest of DH's family. I just recently told my mom and a couple friends... we're on cycle 6. It's tough having people ask us if we're pregnant yet, but it was tough being asked when we're going to start trying, too.

Unknown · February 2012

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Emily&Chad · February 2012

iI's your personal choice. I am a very open "friend" so I chose to tell my closest 5 friends. They know it's a secret and they respect that.

CCline09 · February 2012

I have told my 3 closest friends but that is all. Not really wanting people to make a big deal out of it. But it is also my first month TTC--so ask me six months from now and my answer might be different,

ena724 · February 2012

We started telling some family when we reached the year mark of trying and started some IF testing. I think I told my mom a few months before we told anyone else. Even now, only a handful of people know we are trying.

Indynurse12 · February 2012

As others have said, I think it's a personal decision. I've only told my sister because I really don't want people asking me about it all the time. I get all my "talking" out between DH, my sister and the bump : )

Spartanmama722 · February 2012

I told no one last time. I told a good friend this time and I already regret it - we were out last weekend and this friend's mother made a comment to me about how we were trying. Way to keep it private buddy...

~*Karyn*~ · February 2012

I have only told a few of my closest friends at this point. One is a couple that just had a baby themselves, one is a close coworker, and the other is another couple that has been TTC as well. I talk to all of them enough that they would probably suspect if I didn't. They all know I'd like to keep it private right now. I haven't told any family yet, because I don't want the pressure and the "hounding". My mom is coming to visit in about 2 wks from out-of-town though, so we'll see....

allyxo · February 2012

H told my inlaws, he didn't really think about it he just sort of told his mom when he was on the phone with her cause he was asking her about baby names lol. But I don't mind that they know, I love my inlaws.

I haven't told anyone else though. I was on the phone with my best friend and she asked me if I was still on the pill, I quickly replied yes without even thinking. Then the next week she again asked me if I was on the pill and I lied and said yes.. it's almost like she knows or something which is weird, because I haven't told her anything about trying soon!

I mainly don't want peoples uninvited advice about it or looked at as a failure if we can't have kids right away. So that's why it's private.

ShadyKull · February 2012

I have told 4 close friends who are wise enough not to constantly ask, but I think other people might suspect. I have been getting asked and teased about getting pregnant much less recently, because my friends know how annoying that can get once you are actually trying.The only reason I sort of regret telling a few of those friends is because they are so excited about it that I feel like I will be letting them down if it doesn't happen soon (dumb, I know).

My mom knows we would like to have a baby within the next 2 years, but she is respectful enough not to ask whether we are actually trying or not (at least she hasn't asked yet). I kind of want to tell my mom, but also want it to be more of an exciting surprise for our families once I do get pregnant.

I think its totally up to the individual. I have always respected my friends' decisions to tell me they were trying, or to wait until trimester 2 to tell.

lovepink8 · February 2012

We have not told anybody other than the doctors. We have decided not to tell just to save some stress. I think it's a personal decision to tell people or keep it to yourselves. Our families are just the type to where they would probably ask every time they seen us. They were asking us when we were going to have kids right after we moved in together.

AshDahlia · February 2012

We told one of my best friends and her husband, who are supportive and don't pry. I also told one of my best friends who lives in another state and wouldn't tell anyone, and she struggled getting pregnant with her first and third, so she understands when I'm frustrated and has given me info on OPKs and such. I don't want our families to know so we can surprise them!

CupcakeKaper · February 2012

Our moms know, that's it. Oh and two friends. But that's it. Even when we get the BFP it won't be public knowledge for a while...other than on here of course!

Southernpeach80 · February 2012

We haven't told anyone. I don't want to have people asking me how its going all the time so we are going to keep it to ourselves for now Smile

jenaw84 · February 2012

I told my mom, girls at work, and DH's brother and his wife. I talk to my mom about everything and I can count on her for support. I told the girls at work because some of us are close and in case of an emergency, they'd be aware that I may be pregnant. My DH's brother knows because last time we visited them, his wife was asking about us trying and I caved. lol They had a baby in October and they're just excited about us starting a family since we got married April 2011.

We won't tell anyone else until the 1st trimester. It's killing me not telling my brother about it, but it's best this way. Gonna be hard if/when we find out though. lol

bobbyme · February 2012

I have told pretty much everyone. I posted about it all over my blog. What.

choppinbroccoli22 · February 2012

I told my best friend, and my SIL who is PG asked me so I told her. I absolutely don't plan on telling anyone else because my mom asks me about continued family plans enough already.

I tell her, "we'll see what happens" and change the subject.

UrbanLe1 · February 2012

If they're close enough to me to feel like they can ask me that question--"so, when are you guys going to have another kid?"--they're close enough to hear that we're trying.

It's funny how surprised everyone has been when we answer honestly--"well, we're actually working on that now, but we don't know how long it will take!" I think people are stunned to hear the real answer, which is one of the reasons I tell them.

Why is it socially acceptable to ask someone if they're going to have a kid, but it's not socially acceptable to answer that you're trying? Drives me crazy! Is it the sex?

SpartanGirl24 · February 2012

I told one of my sisters that we were going to start this summer (haha). I told my best friend a month or so ago because we are really close and she is an OB. I don't think we are going to tell anyone else until we hit the year mark.

KatieB134 · February 2012

It's definitely a personal choice and all depends on the people in your life. At first we didn't tell anyone but one or two very close friends. Now we've been married for 5 1/2 years and on cycle 11. We kind of got tired of people asking and making stupid comments. Just saying something like "We're working on it" has been enough to keep people quiet. I do talk to my sister and a close friend about details.

Kristinfm · February 2012

We haven't told anyone. Honestly, I just don't want to deal with he added questions/pressure. Obviously, it is a personal decision and keeping quiet works for us right now.

LiteraryFoodie · February 2012

We haven't told anyone, nor do we planning on telling people mostly because I don't want to deal with people's opinions about pregnancy, child birth and child rearing. I respect their perspectives, and I certainly expect to hear a lot of them once we are pregnant, but it's just not something I want to discuss before I have to. DH and I do a lot of reading, research, and reflecting and we know what is best for us.

With that said, my Mom, Dad, sister and my best friend know that I have been working to step down my migraine medication for several months now because I can't be on it (it's a class D drug) if we want to TTC. So while it's not "out there" that we are actively trying to concieve there are a few people that know that TTC is something on our mind.

To other people, I just say "I'm looking for alternative treatments to migraines because I don't like being on medication anymore and I want a more holistic and simple life." That doesn't invite a lot of questions and it avoids the TTC conversation.

MamaSquish · February 2012

The only people that know are my BFF and a couple friend of ours that have a son the same age as DS, and they are trying as well. I don't plan on telling anyone else. It is something that DH and I consider very personal right now in our situation. People always ask me when we will have another. I always say that we do want to have another child, we just don't know when we will, which is the truth.

mhbraymer · February 2012

I told my BFF and my cousin who I trust not to tell anyone. My FMIL had asked me if we're using protection (our first was totally not planned) because she will think its to soon. But it's our choice and if and when we get pregnant again we also will wait to tell people.

missusmeeseeks · February 2012

I told a few very close friends and my sister. My mother somehow guessed , I think Sis blabbed. We don't get any questions, everyone who knows has been great! There are some people i don't want to tell because I don't need their crappy advice. I made a mistake buying prenatals at work and the cashier (a woman im okay with) told me that it hasn't happened yet bc I'm trying. Mhmmm that's exactly why.

mrskitton · February 2012

I told my mom and a few close friends...but thats it. My other friend is also struggling to conceive so its nice we can rant and rave about it Stick out tongue

gsalyer06 · February 2012

We didn't tell anyone. And since we were lucky enough to conceive our first within 3 months (thanks to a wonderful RE), we were able to avoid being questioned.Once baby #1 was here, nobody asked us directly about siblings.

As for telling people we were pregnant, we told our immediate families right away, then told everyone else once I was in the second trimester. Oddly enough, the one pregnancy we decided to tell people early ended in a miscarriage. After our loss, we went back to our original plan of only telling immediate family right away.

JumpAroundBucky · February 2012

A couple of our friends know. My mom probably knows, but I haven't told her (I've just been talking nonstop about baby stuff haha). We aren't telling people, but we are honest is they straight up ask us.

Reyka9 · February 2012

With the exception of my best friend (and even she doesn't know we're actively trying right now, just that we're "thinking of trying soon"), we're not telling anyone we're trying. I think most people would assume we'll be trying soon since they know we'd like S to have a sibling, so I don't think they need to know anything more specific than that. As PPs have mentioned, I don't want to feel like I'm on BabyWatch every time I visit someone. Plus, I think it's more fun to announce a pregnancy out of the blue.

I'm also one of the superstitious ones who won't announce a pregnancy until after the 1st trimester. We waited until after the NT scan to tell our parents, and it was nice to show them a more detailed ultrasound at the time of our announcement.

rlawson24 · February 2012

As previously stated, it is a personal choice and we just haven't told anyone (that I am aware of). We never verbalized this decision, so I can't say that he hasn't told anyone but no one has informed me of knowing our journey. I have chosen not to tell anyone just as some of the other ladies have stated, don't want the continued questioning about how things are going or if we are pregnant yet. However, I always get the latter since we are newlyweds, everyone expects us to be home jumping eachothers bones or something? That is even kind of uncomfortable, but I just take it to be normal for people to ask newlyweds and not in the realm of knowing that we are having difficulties conceiving.

Great luck to each of you in your journey to conceive.

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