UPDATE to "living in fear" & doctor's appointment

johnnys june · February 2012

Thank you so much, ladies, for all your responses. I wasn't looking for someone to magically make me feel better or reassure me. I just needed to let it out....and I needed to know that I'm not alone. You ladies are so good to me!

My doctor's appointment went well. It ended up being my anatomy scan. Baby Girl looks perfect -- all organs, perfect measurements, and I tested negative for down's syndrome, spina bifida, ect. Sigh of relief! My cervix is also still measuring long and doesn't appear to have any pressure on it!

I explained my fears, my cramping, and everything else to my doctor. She seemed very understanding and reassuring. I straight up asked her when I should and should not be concerned. She expressed that I do need to take it easy and listen to my body. If I'm out and about and I start feeling a little pressure or cramping, I should stop what I'm doing and take a rest. Better to be safe and not push myself because it's easier to "deal with things mentally" and ignore things that could potenitally turn out worse. She does think that my cramping and pressure is growing pains, the baby moving a certain way, and/or dehydration. I just need to continue upping my water in take and put my feet up when I can. DH concurred that I tend to "do too much."

She also explained in detail and gave me pointers to look for as far as "labor" is concerned. She said that I shouldn't be concerned for fearful over light cramping and pressure unless it persists for more than a day even after lots of water and rest. This gave me some reassurance...or atleast a little "back up" for my lack of trust in myself. I think knowing my cervix is still long is helpful. She said that even if I were to start contracting, my cervix is long enough that she is confident we could get it under control in a timely manner.

I also talked to DH on the way back. He asked if I gained some more confidence and reassurance, which I said yes. That gave me the opprotunity to express how fearful I am of not only losing the baby, but of letting him, the baby, Logan, and everyone else down. Both Logan and Baby Girl were/are healthy. My body was the culprit. DH said he can understand how much pressure I must have on myself and he understands better my fears. He is fearful, but he imagines it is worse for me. We're both on the same page now though. He agreed that if I feel any pressure or cramping when we're out together, he has no problem taking me straight home to rest. I feel much better knowing that he understands that my fear isn't just of not having our take home baby, but a fear of not measuring up.

Again, Thank you so much ladies! My posts have been lengthy today, lol. You all are wonderful though. I'd be so lost with each of you. I'm still *fearful* and I know I will be. But having the knowledge and tools I need helps give me more confidence and reassurance. I'll keep hanging in there and do my best to send my baby girl only positive vibes!

*hugs* to each of you!

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · February 2012

So glad to hear your appointment went well and you have found a bit of "relief." I'm not where you are at in your life as far as a pregnancy or even TTCAL but even without being there I can understand your fears - I think we all can. {{HUGS}}

krysiahamaty · February 2012

So happy to hear your appointment went well. Definitely listen to the doctor and take things easy and never push yourself. I am also happy to hear that your doctor and YH are amazing to you. Having a close support from the important people in life is so important. BIG HUGS!!!!!

littlepenguin2012 · February 2012

I am really glad that your dr. was willing to listen to all you concerns and work with you through it. Big ((hugs)).

Petunia844 · February 2012

I'm so glad everything went well! Big huge hugs, we're here for you!

magdalina.h · February 2012

So glad to hear this all. If you need any name ideas...Maggie is a great name ;-)

Gizu92708 · February 2012

Yay so glad everything looks ok!

MandynStephen · February 2012

Happy for you that you had a good appointment!

Auki13 · February 2012

I didn't get on here earlier, but just caught up on both your posts. I am so glad that your appointment went well and that you, your DH, and your doctor are all on the same page and that you seem to have such a great support system. I am not pregnant with a rainbow baby yet, but I get terrified just thinking about it- so I am sure that all your feelings are totally normal. I can only imagine how it's going to be... You and everyone else who is pregnant on this board are in my T&P's and I can't wait to start seeing everyone's babies coming home with them. (((HUGS))) You are a great mommy and are doing everything you can for your precious little girl!

drvst8 · February 2012

I'm so happy your appt went good today. I'm glad you got to ask all your questions and that your Dr. answered them the best she could. Its definitely nice that your dr is so supportive. Support from both your dr and DH is the biggest part of this journey right now. PGAL is hard and have DH to lean on helps.

I'm still very early in my Pg but I already have so much anxiety. I'm not sure how to deal with all of it yet...but at least all of us late loss ladies have people to talk to about it.

pb&fluff · February 2012

I'm glad everything went well at your appointment. Hang in there!! ((hugs))

karebear57 · February 2012

I am so happy to hear your doctor's appt went well! I'm also glad to hear you were able to talk to YH about some of your fears so he could maybe understand you better. Thank you for keeping us posted!

weddedwife · February 2012

I'm glad your appt. went well. You know, I really appreciate your long posts because our losses are fairly similar & I feel like I'm getting a "preview" of how I might feel if/when I get pg again. If that makes any sense!

shanaynerz · February 2012

Just wanted to say I'm glad things are looking up and things are getting better. I totally understand the whole body being the culprit thing, but it sounds like you have a plan and I'm sure things will go great! *hugs*

nuttycoconut · February 2012

I'm just catching up on the board this morning and I'm so happy you have some peace of mind and a plan on what to do if you are feeling crampy. It's so nice that your dh and dr are so supportive. I'm appreciative of your posts on here too (like wedded wife) because I also feel like I'm getting a preview of my pgal. Big hugs to you and I'm sorry this has to be so hard!