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March 2012 Moms
LilyPotter218
member
Help wording questions to my OB. (I'm a post whore)
LilyPotter218
member
OK so I have my follow up tomorrow with my OB. NST, BPP and I will go over the u/s results with a MFM specialist from the high risk OB dept at the hospital.
I just kind of left Friday. Didn't ask any questions, I was in a bit of shock when he said "bed rest".
My main thing here has to do with better on the inside or outside. I don't want this discussion to sound like I'm just sick of being pregnant or on BR. I will gladly do whatever is BEST for HMS.
Details: I have been on pre-e watch for over a month. BP has spiked a few times in the last week, but no protein or swelling. Was treated and medicated for PTL at 33 weeks. Bled pretty heavily from 8-16 weeks. Most recently, baby's measurements are not adding up - arms, legs, and head are on the small side (arms are the smallest at 5%).
OB did mention it could be something with the placenta we just can't see, could be something bigger we just can't see, could be nothing... Nurse in triage mentioned the short limbs could explain the PTL?
All in all. I feel like my ute is a TICKING TIME BOMB. We seem to have escaped all the "issues" but still, none of them have been explained. I basically want to say to him, "when does having her on the inside (the unknown), outweigh the risks of her being born a few weeks early?" without sounding like I just want this to be over.
I am fairly certain he won't let me go past 39, but if these limbs don't show any change in the next week, why would they leave here in if something is obviously not right? (Yes, I know having her on the outside will not make the worry go away. I will be a mom and worry for the rest of my life... Not expecting it to all go away.)
Are these things I should bring up, or just hang tight until a Dr does? It would just be very helpful for my stress levels, planning, and dealing with work if I had some sort of timeline. Even if it is estimated! I know none of this can be set in stone.
I know there are people here who will tell me babies need 40 weeks. I wish I felt that way. In my case, I just really do not feel inside is necessarily the safest place for her and am having a hard time coming up with a way to voice this to my OB without sounding like "I just want my baby NOW"...
Help 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Help wording questions to my OB. (I'm a post whore)
"When does having her on the inside outweigh the risks of her being born a few weeks early?"
I think you phrased it best there- Just ask the doc to go over the pros and cons of both keeping her in longer and having her earlier. Bring a small notebook and pen to write everything down, so you don't forget terminology and can discuss with YH, if he isn't going.
IMHO, being born a few weeks prior to your EDD isn't a horrible thing- it's manageable, and doesn't necessarily = problems. I don't think the bolded question sounds "GHTFO 'cuz I can't take it." It sounds like a concerned mom wanting to know what the best possibly route is if things don't change. I think what would worry me more than the measurements is the possibility of something being worng with the placenta; something they can't really tell until you deliver and they can examine it. (BTW, I would make sure to let them know that you want the results- good, bad, normal, whatever. Even if the placenta is normal, this may be good info for you to have suring subsequent pregnancies.)
I would def. bring up your concerns. I completely agree with you on wanting your LO inside to grow but if they have a better chance of growing on the outside maybe that is where they should be. I think that is 100% justifiable. I would also mention that you are completely aware of the likelihood of a NICU stay and any other complications. I would push for answers... =/ I'm sorry that you have to go through this =(
Definetly bring up every question and concern you have and I would ask what is the plan, goal, for the next week or two. I am going through a similar thing with IUGR and have asked my doctor a millions questions but I am really lucky that he is very honest and we have a definite plan. It helps to know that if my little guy isn't growing enough or if the arterial flow gets worse, then we will induce Friday. If he is looking like he is growing and arterial flow stays the same, continue on with biweekly testing and go back to work. It doesn't make it less stressful, I worry every day and this week is full of anxiety because this is the week for our next growth scan. But it has helped to bring up any and all questions with my doctor.
I would write them down like a pp said, and write down any information he gives you. It is easy to get nervous or forget something you had a concern about as well as blank as to what he tells you.
And you sound like a great mom! You are worried about your baby and want to be sure she is in the best environment to continue to thrive and grow. Good luck!
DH can't go tomorrow so I really like the idea of a notebook. I think I will see 2 Dr's tomorrow I have never even met before I meet with my main OB. Obviously my brain is a bit clouded at the moment
The placenta is absolutely what worries me the most. He did mention they will do all the testing and there is no way to know until she is here and they can see it. THAT is what makes me feel like a time bomb. I would rather her be here (even if it means a NICU stay) than have something go wrong with the placenta that results in an emergency situation.
That being said, he does feel she would have a good chance of not needing a NICU stay at this point. (Of course there is NO way to know that for sure). Regardless, if my placenta is not doing its job, the NICU could be safer?!
I think you phrased it pretty well. From what I can tell your main concern is doing what's best for your daughter. And if that means trying for an earlier delivery then so be it.
If you feel like just asking if it is better to try for a longer gestation or should you consider induction/c-section would make your doctors uncertain about your motives you could vary easily follow the question with something along the lines of "The reason I'm asking is because of..." and fill in with the medical problems you have had. You could even specify that the most recent u/s readings are what has been making you question this more (I base this from what I'm getting from your posts- sorry if I misread).
To a good doctor answering your questions and addressing your concerns should be important. If you feel like you're not getting answers you can understand ask them to clarify, or try asking the question in a different way. Don't let them rush you out the door until you feel you have the information you need.
i think with seeing all the docs tomorrow you should be able to get all your questions answered, as long as you are prepared and have things written out...it's so easy to start talking about one thing and go completely off track. you might even want to make a few copies and hand them to the nurse prior to seeing the doc so that he can look over them before he gets to you and can be more prepared as to how the conversations should go.
i assume the u/s found normal placental blood flow, would an amnio be of value? - check for genetic abnormalities like dwarfism and see how the lungs are developing in case they want to induce early? i don't know i'm just throwing things out there.
i don't think any way you word it is going to make you sound like a whiny-sick-of-being-pregnant-lady! you have every right to be concerned that your body isn't nurturing the baby appropriately. but i also think that 9 times out of 10 the baby is safer in utero until the body decides otherwise.
good luck and i hope all news tomorrow is good news
My Wedding Bio!
Everything with the cord and placenta appear to be OK, but what they can see with u/s is VERY limited. OB basically explained that they only way to really know everything that is going on with placenta is to delivery it, and run tests/see it on the outside. Unfortunately it it a lot more complicated that just blood flow.
They are not worried about anything chromosomal that an amnio would help detect. Her arms were measuring 32+4, and her legs were measuring 33+2 (I was 35+3). They are only concerned with dwarfism if they limbs stop growing earlier. I believe he said 26w (which would be a negative on the percentile scale - I am 5% on arms and 15% on legs)... Also, dwarfism has more indicators like large head and small chest cavity. Her head is on the smaller side and her chest cavity is fine.
I imagine if there was a need to induce this week they would do an amnio to check her lungs, but from what I was told when I was dealing with the pre-e scare, they won't do that after 35 weeks. No signs of IUGR and her overall weight is great.
Her lungs, heart, brain and all other organs look perfect. The concern seems to be things we CANT see that could be going on with the placenta casing the growth issues. I am with you on mom being the best oven for baby, but in this situation, if the placenta IS failing and we just can't see the issue, then, I am no longer the best place for her. IF something were to fail with the placenta things could go from "ehhh" to a very bad emergency situation in hours. That is a risk I am not comfortable taking.
It is just so much to think about and take in. I will ultimately do what my Dr's suggest, but I want to be armed with questions so I know WHY. There is not going to be a right or wrong answer to this one, just the least risky route for baby and I to take.
Ditto on thinking you have the question right (and it doesn't sound like you're just trying to cut short this pregnancy).
I think your placenta questions are legitimate; I think it's fair to express your concerns to both docs and ask their advice/experience with this. (nice that you're meeting with two of them.. )
Good luck- I hope everything turns out ok!