This is so hard

Heatherhah · February 2012

I am trying to remain as positive as I can about getting pregnant again but it is so hard. I am almost 39 and the clock is ticking so hard it is killing me.

So many of the loss mommies that had their loss around mine are already pregnant with their rainbow babies and I am still dragging behind with not much of any hope of getting pregnant right now. I am currently waiting to O but maybe that might not happen like last month. I feel like I am broken and can't be fixed. I am so jealous of pregnant woman in general. I don't like feeling like that but I think it is natural. My SIL is having a girl which I think most of you know about and she posts pictures of her U/S that say my baby girl and that was me last year only to lose her it just sucks. I hate this whole thing. She should be here and healthy and growing so big by now I mean seriously how big would a baby that weighed 10lb 3 oz be at almost 5 months she would be so big and look just like her big sister. This isn't fair why do babies have to die? This shouldn't happen to anyone. Then to have issues getting pregnant after a loss isn't fair either. I feel like the universe owes me a bit of good luck but that isn't going to happen. Sorry I am so down this morning I am trying to have some hope but I feel kind of down today. My baby girl should be here not in heaven!! I wish if I could have one wish that we could all have our beautiful angel babies back !! Crying

Heather

dandywarhol · February 2012

{{HUGE HUGS}} I understand what you are feeling.

magdalina.h · February 2012

((hugs)) I know sweetie, I know.

Gizu92708 · February 2012

Hugs. I try to find an answer to all of our "why's" but I can't. Im sorry. Please stay positive.

Heather91705 · February 2012

I am so sorry, I totally know how you feel. It took us 6 months to get pregnant and it felt like an eternity. Then you read these stories about people getting pregnant 6 weeks later and it just doesn't seem fair. It's not, we should be holding our babies instead of wondering what they look like now...it's painful, but I just wanted to say you are not alone with these feelings. I would think your OB would be open to you having IUI's if it doesn't happen soon. I know mine was, I made my fertility specialist appointment and 3 weeks later we realized we didn't need it, but that was the next step for us. It's worth asking since it will avoid a lot of the monthly stress you are putting yourselves under.

karebear57 · February 2012

((Hugs))That's just how I feel, the moms that had their loss around the same time as me pg again. I'm also having trouble and it sucks. I'm not saying I'm not happy for them. The only women I could stand seeing pg would be any of us! It just feels like your stuck, and everyone else gets to move ahead. If you ever need to talk I'm here!