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September 2011 Moms
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Wwyd - smoking FIL

MamaAllisonMamaAllison member
in September 2011 Moms
So my FIL is a smoker. MIL makes him smoke in the garage but if any of you know a smoker the smell still surrounds the smoker no matter where they do it. They live in another state so we haven't been around them too much since E was born. Of course I don't like the fact that when he holds E she is inhaling second hand smoke and I always try to let him "air out"  before handing her over. Besides that though ever since I gave birth I feel like I can smell cigarette smoke from a mile away and it gives me a headache every time we visit. I don't really like my FIL (long story, he is a closet alcoholic, he ruined our bathroom by not supervising the Plummer he insisted we use when we could not be there, etc. etc.) and DH knows I'm not a fan so I feel like if I start complaining about his dads smoking then he is just going to brush it off. However, family functions are painful enough without these headaches and the worry of what the smoke is doing to E. Any advice??
DD1 - Evelyn Riley - 9/30/11
DD2 - Charlotte Avery - 1/27/14




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Re: Wwyd - smoking FIL

  • EdsdollfaceJenEdsdollfaceJen
    I wouldn't offer to let him hold the baby. I'm a bit crazy when it comes to my kid and smoke though. 
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  • CMheart1011CMheart1011 member

    imageEdsdollfaceJen:
    I wouldn't offer to let him hold the baby. I'm a bit crazy when it comes to my kid and smoke though. 

    Yep....this.

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  • julygaljulygal
    Not perfect solutions, but I would require him to wear a jacket while smoking that he removes, so LO isn't being held up against the clothing that the smoke got directly on.  I would also require handwashing after smoking, but you could make that a rule for everyone as to not single out FIL.  Other than never letting FIL hold the child, which could cause a lot of family drama and your DH would have to be on board with, I'm not sure what else you can do.  I know I really struggled with this when SIL had a BF that smoked.  I ultimately decided to do the jacket and handwashing, as we only saw the guy once a year, and he only occasionally held the kids. I think my feeling would have been different if it was someone we saw all the time and someone like a grandparent expecting to hold the kids all the time.  Whatever you decide you need to be comfortable with it.
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  • Malin22000Malin22000
    We have the same problem with my MIL. She absolutely loves our DD but I hate the fact that she smokes. To make matters worse, she drenches herself in perfume to hide the smoke smell. Whenever she holds DD, DD has an eczema breakout. I don't feel at liberty to say anything because we've already had a few tense moments about a few things.
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