Baby taken from your arms...

Soon2beMrs.L*07 · February 2012

How do you feel about someone taking your baby from your arms without asking? My MIL does this and it makes me insane. She also will take him from other relatives arms if he cries. Shouldn't I (his MOTHER) be the one to take him and be the one to comfort him? I feel that it is a sign of disrespect to take a baby from his mothers arms without first asking. Am I being unreasonable???

TIA

SunnyD2011 · February 2012

That is NOT cool! Next time refuse and say please ask first. With a smile!

Mrs_Est11.11.06 · February 2012

My MIL tried this, I told her I can handle my son crying, she backed off. Stand up for yourself you can do it!

ar52kortlang · February 2012

I would straight up tell her how it is! I see your a jersey girl, come on, make us (me and hubby) proud, we're new Yorkers!! Lol... My family and hubby's family know how it is, they would NEVER do this, they wouldn't want to see the new York in my come out! Hehe

Adanessa · February 2012

That would make me furious to the point where I would pull away and not let them hold her at all. You shouldn't take anything from someones hands without asking or at least gesturing much less a mother's baby. And yes, I think you should be the one to comfort him, what makes her think she can comfort him any better than the other stranger or family members, shes not the mother... It's extremely insulting.

Soon2beMrs.L*07 · February 2012

Thanks everyone!! I tried telling her in a friendly way once and she didn't get the hint. I guess I have to just be straight forward with it. I just hate to cause a rift in our relationship (which has always been a good relationship in terms of how typical MIL/DIL are). I just can't be so angry when I go there anymore. I need to fix this ASAP.

allierb · February 2012

Maybe she'll understand...she's a mom too. It might go better if you put it in terms of how it makes you feel as a mom.

elainedave · February 2012

allierb:
Maybe she'll understand...she's a mom too. It might go better if you put it in terms of how it makes you feel as a mom.

This. And the more often you calm LO, the better you get (esp. if you are FTM)!

Thinkerbelle80 · February 2012

That would really upset me. If I saw her coming towards me with open arms, I would turn my body away and tell her "I've got her, it's fine". If she still tried to take the baby I'd ask her to wait till I offered.

4LittleDuckies · February 2012

Ugh! I would hate that! Tell her to ask first.

ksb717 · February 2012

you're not alone, with our first two my MIL was def more prone to that but with the third asks or waits for one of us to hand him to her.

Just a funny side, once at a family get together shortly after DS#1 was born he was sleeping when we got there so we put the car seat in the corner. The second he started making a sound I heard him and started to go over but my MIL literally ran, I kid you not, to get to him first. LOL, she couldn't get the straps undone though so I didn't bother saying anything.

GL

authorofdreamz · February 2012

It would only bother me if it was a stranger or something not family/friends. My mom, FMIL, BFF, FI's grandma/aunts all do this and it doesn't bug me at all.

turner215 · February 2012

wow... thats a BIG no for me... Me and DH get angry when people come up to us with their arms out and just expect us to hand over the baby. LO is not a toy that we are sharing, she is MY child so you need to back off. Both our parents did this for a few days when she was born and we quickly set them straight and said that we would appreciate them being the example for other friends and family and asking or just letting us know that they are more than happy to hold LO and give us some time to be hands free.... That did the trick and helped a lot!

cbleahy@comcast.net · February 2012

I completely understand and I would just as the other girls have said say "I've got it, don't worry" . My MIL babysat for the 1st time the other night and as soon as we got home of course I wanted to hold my baby girl and my MIL did the "uh uh uh" and whined like a child and I just ignored her. You just have to stand your ground in a nice way or just simply ignore her when she keeps trying to persist. Simply put~ you say when you say where you say how much!

JKB1986 · February 2012

That would really piss me off. My MIL would never do this and if she ever did she'd get an ear full from DH. My mother on the other hand would do this. Thankfully she lives two hours away. I actually have a story about my mom doing this with DS1 when he was six months old. She showed up uninvited to our family picture shoot (strike one). DS had not napped that morning so when we were finally done with the pics he fell asleep in the car at 1pm. We stopped at my moms work so she could "show him off" and DH got him out of the car without waking him. When we got in the building she took him from DH without asking (strike two). Then she wakes him up and says "you have people to meet!" (strike three). She was lucky DH didn't throat punch her!

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