Having one of those I'm going to lose it days.

itsmegin · February 2012

DD's newest trick is screaming and squealing in this grating high-pitched sound. Whether she is happy or sad she makes this horrible noise. She's still waking up every 2-3 hours at night and still eating every hour all day. My house is a mess, I've got piles of laundry waiting to be washed, mountains waiting to be put away and no time. My face is a disgusting broken out mess of pimples that will not go away, and instead if the pounds magically dropping from all that BFing I'm gaining weight because I'm always so hungry! Today I wasted the 10 minutes or so I have while DD is okay between feedings by cleaning our bathroom instead of showering like I should have. And DH has been gone on a bike ride all day and is going out of town tomorrow and I'm bummed about that. And of course I feel like a jerk for whining because I should be grateful I have a healthy DD and so many other blessings but I cannot be that awesome, I just feel pissy.

ambs21 · February 2012

It's totally ok to be frustrated. It doesn't mean you aren't grateful. They aren't mutually exclusive feelings! Hang in there! Your job is meeting Winter's needs, and you're doing great! The other stuff will wait!

pepomntpat · February 2012

It is okay to have a bad day. Anyone who says they love every minute of mother hood is either a liar or drunk. I'd be pissed at DH leaving mountains of laundry to go have fun. I hope he'll do some before he goes away tomorrow!

Have you tried bathing with LO? I was having a rotten day like that a few months ago and just plopped Ro in the bath with me. She and I both got clean and it was a lot of fun! I do it now and then when I am at my wit's end! It's a good distraction for both of us.

jertie · February 2012

pepomntpat:

Have you tried bathing with LO? I was having a rotten day like that a few months ago and just plopped Ro in the bath with me. She and I both got clean and it was a lot of fun! I do it now and then when I am at my wit's end! It's a good distraction for both of us.

This is brilliant!!! I will try that next time!

Ginger, I'm sorry this is one of those days - they really suck! Don't beat yourself up, motherhood is not all rainbows and puppy dogs and I understand the frustration and the helplessness that you're feeling. You feel icky, you look around and hate the piles surrounding you - it's all overwhelming. (Don't even get me started on the cluster feedings!)

I'm completely anal about stuff like that too - and I often sit on the couch with Pip on my chest or in my lap and look around at all the crap laying around, thinking about the clothes sitting in the dryer and washer - and hating myself because it's 2:30 and I'm still in my bathrobe and desperately hoping for a shower and wondering what happened to my organized life.

It will all work itself out and you will get that shower. Is there anybody that you could call to give you a break - even just a short one? I hope that Winter cooperates soon and gives you some time between feedings so you can rest up and reset. Wishing you a wonderful tomorrow!!

MrsAtch · February 2012

I feel like this often. Q often takes a bath with me because I might not get clean consistently otherwise. I'm broken out, stressed out, and overwhelmed most of the time. Take comfort in the fact that this too shall pass. And pour a glass of wine!

ikissedthecook · February 2012

Its totally possible to be 1000% grateful to have a healthy DC and feel pissy all at the same time. Trust me, I manage it every day. Sorry your having a rough time. (((hugs)))

Junebug060609 · February 2012

((hugs)) I'm soo having one of those days too. Feeling like I'm always behind on things, not having time in the day to do the feedings/naps/PT stuff for the baby, and finding time for my husband or to take a deep breath for myself...yeah, right.

You aren't alone. Motherhood can be overwhelming at times.

martinimomma · February 2012

((Hugs)). You are well within your rights to gripe now and then. I know how the frustration (particularly with a screeching soundtrack in the background) can grow and grow. Take a deep breath, tell DH you need a break for 30-45 mins and treat yourself to a bubble bath or just 30 minutes of quiet. How about taking a walk? (by yourself) If you are going to be on duty tomorrow as well as next week you must have a break from LO to stay sane. ((More hugs))

spincat9 · February 2012

<<hugs>> Been there too! It can be so overwhelming!

Consequently my DD is 9 months old and still doing the ear piercing screeches - it went away for awhile then came back a couple weeks ago...it makes me mental...

Expressing frustration and feelings over being overwhelmed do not make you a jerk at all - you can't expect yourself to have zero frustration just because you are grateful for a safe arrival - you can relish the miracle of your baby every single day and still get frustrated and overwhelmed sometimes! So please, go easy on yourself - you're a new mom - it's a BIG job.

DH is probably still adjusting to parenthood too, and that includes his role in the house. I found I needed to be calm and clear with my DH to express what I needed. He'd go off to the gym or out to do errands and leave me with the baby when I had been with her all week - I wasn't getting a break. We discussed it and made an arrangement that when DH comes home after work, he takes DD for an hour so I can get dinner finished, work on some chores, or sit down and relax, and on the weekend he tries to take her for a few hours so I can go out alone etc. One weekend day he gets up with her and lets me sleep in. It took awhile to get there, but it's doable. Ask for what you need. There's no reason why DH should have all kinds of time to go out for bike rides while you're ripping your hair out. He's just as much a parent as you are.

It will get easier as Winter gets a little older - and btw, you are "that awesome" - you're a mama and you're doing a great job!

itsmegin · February 2012

Thank you guys so much for your advice and understanding. DH came home and we both realized 15 minutes too late that we didn't pick up his dry cleaning in time for his trip, so he has only one dirty suit at home to wear for a week in Miami. I felt horrible and instead of accepting my apology he got mad and said, "You said you were going to pick it up!" at which point I lost it. DH was very understanding/scared and said he was more than willing to help I just had to ask, which is true. I never ask for help because I feel guilty, like since I get to SAH I should be able to do everything but clearly I can't. We will need to work out a better system.

OCIrishBruin · February 2012

(((hugs))) you are getting close the time when things start to get easier. She will start sleeping better, your hormones will stabilize and your skin will improve and you will lose weight, especially if you keep BFing. I had the same experience re weight. I would lose some and then stay at the same weight or gain a couple pounds for a while and then, all of a sudden, I would lose 5 or so pounds almost overnight. All without any changes to my diet or exercise. I just ate if I was hungry because I figured I needed it to produce. I'm now at my pre-pregnancy (and pre-m/c) weight, and I owe it all to BFing.

OCIrishBruin · February 2012

Also, when LO was around 4 months I just wore him in his bjorn for hours. That way I could get laundry done, clean up, etc. I was super productive with him just strapped to me. And he loved it. Maybe give that a shot if you are feeling antsy about getting your house in shape.

Izabella22 · February 2012

I'm sorry things are so crazy right now, I'm glad your Dh offered to help. I felt the same way about taking care of everything at home until I realized that being a mom is the toughest job on earth! I told DH after he came home late from work the 3rd day in a row and I hadn't had a shower or eaten lunch that "At least you get breaks for coffee, lunch, and you know... to go to the bathroom!" - I remind him of that when he starts to get whiny about me asking him to do things around the house but yeah... you can't do it all alone and there is nothing wrong with that!

spincat9 · February 2012

itsmegin:
Thank you guys so much for your advice and understanding. DH came home and we both realized 15 minutes too late that we didn't pick up his dry cleaning in time for his trip, so he has only one dirty suit at home to wear for a week in Miami. I felt horrible and instead of accepting my apology he got mad and said, "You said you were going to pick it up!" at which point I lost it. DH was very understanding/scared and said he was more than willing to help I just had to ask, which is true. I never ask for help because I feel guilty, like since I get to SAH I should be able to do everything but clearly I can't. We will need to work out a better system.

Being a new SAHM is like any other big job change - it takes months to get used to your new job, to get into a routine, to do things "proficiently" (and even once you do that, it seems like the little ones switch it up to keep it interesting!). Hang in there!

hopeandlove0417 · February 2012

I'm right there with you Hun. It's a lot to handle and can get very frustrating, but I guess that's all part of being a mommy. It's a huge adjustment....just a few weeks ago I was plopped on the couch too swollen to do anything, craving any food that i could smell and a belly that was ready to pop. Now I'm plopped on the couch with my LO attached to my boob nearly 24/7 just trying to find the time to make it to the kitchen to eat

It's perfectly okay to be overwhelmed....in fact I would think you were crazy if you weren't feeling overwhelmed *big hugs*

D&D4Ever7 · February 2012

Hugs. I remmember you said you live close to family. Can someone come over and help? One of my SAHM friends have a babysitter who comes by 3 times a week so that she can get stuff done and relax. If finances allow, I recommend a cleaning person and a babysitter. I use a cleaning service for once a month and it makes a huge difference. I hope you get much needed rest soon.

Ernie52408 · February 2012

:huge hugs:

I have definitely had my share of those days. Sometimes you just have to let the baby scream/ cry so you can take a shower and grab some food. It was around 4 months when Sesame Street became Mommy's Little Helper. I could plop him in the RNP or highchair and turn on Sesame Street videos. It would get me 10-15 minutes and that was plenty of time to get a few things done.

Will DD let you wear her while you do chores around the house? Get her involved in cleaning up. I would play peek-a-boo with clean clothes while I folded laundry. To this day DS still loves "helping" me with laundry.

GPickles · February 2012

Hi Gin, sorry you're having such a rough day. I can totally relate. I realized that if I want help around the house I have to ask for it. My H can see the laundry piling up, but won't do it unless I ask him to. We need a break too, don't be afraid to ask for it every once in a while. A happy mommy makes for a happy baby.

vflipo · February 2012

((hugs)) It's ok to be frustrated, it doesn't mean you aren't grateful for your DD. I know it can be tough. My house often looks like a tornado ran through it, especially now that DD is mobile. It will get better, I promise.

FmrAFBrat · February 2012

itsmegin:
Thank you guys so much for your advice and understanding. DH came home and we both realized 15 minutes too late that we didn't pick up his dry cleaning in time for his trip, so he has only one dirty suit at home to wear for a week in Miami. I felt horrible and instead of accepting my apology he got mad and said, "You said you were going to pick it up!" at which point I lost it. DH was very understanding/scared and said he was more than willing to help I just had to ask, which is true. I never ask for help because I feel guilty, like since I get to SAH I should be able to do everything but clearly I can't. We will need to work out a better system.

I understand....it's so stressful. I'm not even a SAHM & I try to do everything as well since I work at home 2 days a week & DH makes more money. Sometimes I think we all need to ask for help & a break to exercise or do something non baby related. The weight is another stresser too...I was down to my PP weight by my 6 week appointment, but I gained 15 lbs in 2 months after my loss & I can't loose a pound to get towards my pre-first pregnancy weight.

ellebelle2384 · February 2012

Big hugs! The only way I get anything done is by wearing DD. Does Winter like that? I hope things get better soon!

BettyBookworm · February 2012

DD does the screaming/squealing thing too. Its hard when it all piles up on you like that. (((hugs mama)))

Its extra fun with a sinus/allergy migraine too. We will make it!

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