Moms of boys around 20 months

KimW · February 2012

Where is your little guy at in terms of speech?

Ben isn't speaking at all. He'll repeat after us for Mama, Dada, banana, and Moo, but that's about it. And he doesn't do it unless we ask him to. He understands simple commands, like, "lets go put your boots on", or "go sit in your highchair", but I can't actually talk to him and expect him to understand me.

My daughter was 20 months when he was born and speaking in full sentances. She undderstoon the concept of getting a new brother, understood he was in my belly, had opinions, counted and was saying parts of the alphabet. I have been trying really my best not to compare them, but it's getting hard not to, and I'm worried that I've been "ignoring" what could lead to a bigger problem.

Also, it's getting really difficult to take him out anywhere (shopping, restaurants, someone else's house), because the tinest little thing will set him off, and it's almost impossible to calm him down. It's getting more then a little frustrating, and I'm feeling like we're trapped in the house. It was never like this with Claire (again, I hate to compare them, but the difference in how they were at this age is like night and day).

Is this just an example of girls maturing faster then boys, or would you be concerned if you were me?

Luckie519 · February 2012

DS will be 20 months on 3/8. He also understands phrases like "Let's get in the highchair." or "Let's go to the car," etc.

I can not have a conversation with him. He says about 20 words, but here in the last week or so, it seems like he is picking up new words everyday. We have mentioned it to our pedi and he is not concerned with it. He says boys generally speak later than girls. He did say if by 24 months it had not picked up, then he would start to be concerned. It's hard for me not to worry though.

nosoup4u · February 2012

I think it's just a situation of them being different kids, and not related to their sex.

DS1 was barely speaking at 24 months - he wasn't using two syllable words at all, and had about 50 words. We ended up taking him for a speech evaluation, and he was a bit delayed - nothing serious (and his receptive language was normal/high), but he went to speech therapy for about six months. In retrospect, I think I would have waited a few more months to see what he would have developed on his own, but now at 4, he's speaking normally. His big language explosion was around 2.5 or so.

DS2, in comparison, is saying about 15-20 words at 16 months. I have no doubt that he's going to be speaking a lot earlier than his brother.

One more anecdote: My niece was saying 50 words at 18 months, and could put them together in sentences, etc. Her little sister is saying maybe 10-15 words at the same age. Every kid is different.

And about him getting frustrated - it might be personality difference, too. DS2 is much more easy-going about things than his brother ever was. hth

mandapie · February 2012

I have always heard that girls start talking before boys b/c they're communicators and boys are manipulators of their environment. Girls will wave and talk and boys will move and do.

My DS is def a mover and a doer! Definitely NOT a talker. He only said mama and dada for the longest time, now he says maybe 15 words. When we were at his 18mo apt he had probably 5 and the pedi since they have a word explosion between 18 and 24 months they won't really worry about it until 2. He understands and can communicate which they said was the important thing. But he does "talk" in his language like he's having full-on conversations and we can understand him. (I just imagine it like if we were in another country and couln't speak the language. We would understand ourselves fine it's just getting the point across.) Still waiting on the "explosion" here too!

MrsBalletStar05 · February 2012

Mine does not speak at all, but I know that he is behind on that.... the understanding thing, honestly with my older DS it didn't happen until MUCH MUCH later, so I'm not worried. I know many kids this age do, but apparently mine aren't as with it. But DS#1 is now 4.5 and understand plenty so I'm not terribly concerned about that wil DS#2. He does *understand* at times. My youngest can also be sensitive, but he isn't too bad when going out...all kids are different with that though.

ETA - My older one was only saying a few words at this age, but his speech is on track for his age now

Brags0607 · February 2012

DS says maybe 8-10 words right now. I know it is hard not to compare. I have a niece who is 21 months and says more words than anyone can count, full sentences & can express how she is feeling/what she is thinking. It is frustrating at times & worries me, but I try to remind myself that all kids are different.

As far as the going out, my DS acts the same way. My only luck is taking him out when he is rested and fed. I try to make it fun by pointing out what we see, driving the cart/stroller like a race car, and not staying in one area too long.

I am hoping in both these areas that he will get better with time.

ntyravgmom · February 2012

You ladies are making me feel better. I had been so concerned about my little one because his brother has autism, but I know he understands more than he can say. Plus he's been trying so hard to talk with babbles for so long and does know some words. He was getting frustrated with not being able to tell me that he wanted a drink so I taught him a couple of signs in sign-language as well. Unfortunately it hasn't completely stopped the whining.

Irishsapphire · February 2012

Your son and my son would have a hoot around each other. My son basically says Mama, Dada, nana (banana), and Elmo. He can mimic "Touchdown", but I do not think he understands the football concept. Daycare told me he said everyone else's name, but it seems more like he is kinda saying their name--and he knows who they are.

It is not easy to take my son out either. He does not like to stay in his stroller for a long time. He likes to walk around. Sometimes, we have to take time out to take him to the playground and let him play on the slide (while we spot him)-just let him get his boy energy out.

kcisthebombdotcom · February 2012

My son was using 8 words regularly at that age. My pedi recommended him to early intervention and recommends all kids at 18 months who dont have at least 10 words used regularly. He started speech therapy at that time. Now he uses 3 word sentence and has more words than I can count.

I am a huge advocate of early intervention. I know the "old school" way of thinking is that kids will talk eventually, and you'll hear all these antecdotal stories of kids who didnt talk until they were 3 and turned out ok. Now we know the first three years of life are the most critical in brain development. Its true that a good amount of kids who are late talkers will talk eventually and develop normally. This doesnt happen in all cases tough. If there is some sort of underlying issue that is causing the delay in expressive language it's a whole lot easier to correct at 20 months vs 3 or 4.

I would suggest you make the call to early intervention. All testing is free of charge in most areas no matter your income. If there's not a problem, nothing happens. If there is, there's someone to help get their language to where it needs to be.

SuperCuteBenz · February 2012

I think in my case boys and girls are just different.

My DD was talking a lot around 9-10 months, and my 12 months she had a ton of words. My DS had maybe 5 words around 15 months, and not at 18 months says at least 50 words. It seems like each day he learns a new word. I think my DS is way more advanced physically than my DD was at this age. He throws really well, climbs up onto furniture, gets in and out of baskets, etc.

Chelz · February 2012

DS is 22 months and maybe has 5 words.... he's learning more, babbling more and saying more words now. He's had words and stopped saying them. He does understand a lot of what we say so the pedi was not worried at his 18 mo check-up(when he was 19 months). Pedi would've been more concerned if DS wasn't understanding some basic commands.

I've seen a lot of recs for early intervention. I never even heard about that until reading these boards. I'm personally not concerned until after 2 years of age. We have a new Pedi/new insurance so it'll be interesting to find out if the philosophy is different and/or if they feel early intervention is a good step at 2 years of age. You can talk to your Pedi or make a decision to follow up now on your own, assuming your insurance will cover it. (my last insurance required referrals and was an HMO so you couldn't go outside their network)

Good luck!

write2nicole · February 2012

Chelz:
DS is 22 months and maybe has 5 words.... he's learning more, babbling more and saying more words now. He's had words and stopped saying them. He does understand a lot of what we say so the pedi was not worried at his 18 mo check-up(when he was 19 months). Pedi would've been more concerned if DS wasn't understanding some basic commands.

I've seen a lot of recs for early intervention. I never even heard about that until reading these boards. I'm personally not concerned until after 2 years of age. We have a new Pedi/new insurance so it'll be interesting to find out if the philosophy is different and/or if they feel early intervention is a good step at 2 years of age. You can talk to your Pedi or make a decision to follow up now on your own, assuming your insurance will cover it. (my last insurance required referrals and was an HMO so you couldn't go outside their network)

Good luck!

EI (early intervention) is provided by your state or county and does not require insurance coverage. Sometimes they have a sliding scale for cost based on income. I know someone with a moderate income who relied on it for occupational therapy and I believe the copay was about $10/visit.

Haven1 · February 2012

Mine know 75-100 words and can string 2-3 together. Although they really have the benefit of teaching each other. If one learns a word, the other knows it right afterwards too. I think it's a girl/boy thing to some degree. The little girls in their daycare have excellent enunciation and understanding. More than the boys.

Meggybear · February 2012

I don't know...I really don't think you can say it is a boy vs girl thing. I just think all kids are different. My son is very verbally advanced. I lost count of how many words he knows at 20 months, but it's has to be in the hundreds. He can string words together. Tells me what he wants to eat for breakfast. Knows all his family members names. Sings songs etc. but he crawled late, walked late, sat up late, etc. My niece, who is one month younger only has a few words, but was running circles around my DS way before he could even move. She is also the youngest in her family, and often her big sister will do the talking for her. And kids sometimes have a word explosion. My nephew only had a few words between 18 months and almost two. Now at just over two he never shuts up! It's like a switch was flipped overnight. But at any rate, if you have any concerns, def bring them up to your Dr. Some extra assistance can never hurt!

kcisthebombdotcom · February 2012

write2nicole:
Chelz:

DS is 22 months and maybe has 5 words.... he's learning more, babbling more and saying more words now. He's had words and stopped saying them. He does understand a lot of what we say so the pedi was not worried at his 18 mo check-up(when he was 19 months). Pedi would've been more concerned if DS wasn't understanding some basic commands.

I've seen a lot of recs for early intervention. I never even heard about that until reading these boards. I'm personally not concerned until after 2 years of age. We have a new Pedi/new insurance so it'll be interesting to find out if the philosophy is different and/or if they feel early intervention is a good step at 2 years of age. You can talk to your Pedi or make a decision to follow up now on your own, assuming your insurance will cover it. (my last insurance required referrals and was an HMO so you couldn't go outside their network)

Good luck!

EI (early intervention) is provided by your state or county and does not require insurance coverage. Sometimes they have a sliding scale for cost based on income. I know someone with a moderate income who relied on it for occupational therapy and I believe the copay was about $10/visit.

This. In my state, it's covered no matter what. I never had to prove my income or even show an insurance card. All therapy is covered 100%. I think only so many sessions are covered a year and after that it's a sliding scale, but they cover something like 100 sessions.

You also don't need a pedi referral to the program. You call, they send someone out. If there's no real issues diagnosed, they will just tell you to wait it out and nothing happens. pedis aren't really speech specialists either, so taking their advice is similar to taking their advice on sleep. Here's a list of warning signs of a speech delay and when it's advised to call early intervention for an evaluation--

https://www.babycenter.com/0_warning-signs-of-a-toddlers-language-delay_12293.bc

Many doctors will say wait it out until 2, and that's fine. My speech therapist says she likes to see kids under 2 (ideally by 18 months) in the program as those kids catch up the quickest but at 2 they still have a year in the program (early intervention only exists until age 3) which is enough time to diagnose the underlying issue/correct it. The 2 year milestones they look for are at least 50 words/2 word sentences. If your LO isn't there by 2, definitely make the call. Waiting it out only makes it more difficult on you/LO. Early intervention only exists until 3, and after that you're on your own. They will help transition services to your town's special ed department if your child needs added services. Doing all the paperwork, getting all the doctor's referrals that services are needed, etc on your own would be a nightmare I think. plus by that age, they would need to go to school for services so coordinating that makes life trickier. In EI, someone comes to my house around my schedule for my sons therapy.

jamiedsgirl · February 2012

I think your daughter sounds very advanced for that age! None of the kids in DS's class at daycare are doing those things. DS has said lots of words, but only one phrase so far - "More crackers" LOL. My co-worker's grandson was born in May 2010, so just a month or so older than DS, and he just started saying a word or two. I wouldn't be concerned unless my doctor was concerned.

epona3 · February 2012

I don't have a DS, but my DD (who is currently an only child) sounds a lot like your DS, speech-wise. The pedi does not seem to be concerned, so I try not to be (I understand how it can be hard, though!)

DD is also very physical - she was an early crawler, walker, etc. And is currently doing a pretty reasonable job attempting to lace her shoes (she can get it in a couple holes, anyway - definitely not perfect!) I think sometimes the kids who are better at physical things are a little slower wtih language.

Also, the acting out could be frustration from not being able to express himself. Sounds like a pretty normal toddler to me!

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz · February 2012

The amount of speech and the behavioral issues are concerning. His brother has autism, did I read that right? He is at considerably higher risk. Your gut tells you something is wrong, it's worth exploring. I'd get into a developmental pediatrician. The wait lists can be 6+ months, so I'd make an appt, then in the meantime, get an early intervention eval because they can start services without a formal diagnosis if he meets their evaluation criteria. Is the brother with autism your son, or a stepson? Regardless, no two people with autism are the same so don't write off any concerns if he doesn't seem "exactly like" his older brother. Good luck, hopefully it's just a speech delay, but I urge you to get to the bottom of it.

ntyravgmom · February 2012

The amount of speech and the behavioral issues are concerning. His brother has autism, did I read that right? He is at considerably higher risk. Your gut tells you something is wrong, it's worth exploring. I'd get into a developmental pediatrician. The wait lists can be 6+ months, so I'd make an appt, then in the meantime, get an early intervention eval because they can start services without a formal diagnosis if he meets their evaluation criteria. Is the brother with autism your son, or a stepson? Regardless, no two people with autism are the same so don't write off any concerns if he doesn't seem "exactly like" his older brother. Good luck, hopefully it's just a speech delay, but I urge you to get to the bottom of it.

I think you're getting the OP mixed up with me. The OP has a son and daughter and her son has some behavior issues with going out. I have an 8 yr old with autism and a 20 month old that understands a lot more than he can say. He is saying a lot, but still seems a little delayed. I am still waiting on that word explosion. I know the signs of autism and the 20 month old certainly doesn't have it. The 20 month old is very verbal, just not speaking many words or putting them together. The only two word phrase he says is "kitty cat". And yes the 8 yr old is my biological child. I know in today's world my situation is unique in that I got married then had my eldest 5 years later. Then my youngest about 6 1/2 years after that. I still resent your remark because NO ONE KNOWS the cause of autism. Though I appreciate your concern because I know the statistics of siblings being at higher risk. Younger brothers of boys being a 1 in 3 chance of having it. My eldest is very high functioning and I would be surprised if my youngest has it because the younger siblings usually have a higher functioning form than their older siblings.

MrsWindyCity · February 2012

My DS is 22 months old now, but at 20 months he probably had around 100 words and was just starting to string together 2-3 word sentences. He had an "explosion" around 19 months. I don't think it hurts to contact EI. Most likely it's not a problem because many kids don't talk more until closer to their 2nd birthday, especially boys. That said, there's really no harm in getting a free evaluation.

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz · February 2012

ntyravgmom:
The amount of speech and the behavioral issues are concerning. His brother has autism, did I read that right? He is at considerably higher risk. Your gut tells you something is wrong, it's worth exploring. I'd get into a developmental pediatrician. The wait lists can be 6+ months, so I'd make an appt, then in the meantime, get an early intervention eval because they can start services without a formal diagnosis if he meets their evaluation criteria. Is the brother with autism your son, or a stepson? Regardless, no two people with autism are the same so don't write off any concerns if he doesn't seem "exactly like" his older brother. Good luck, hopefully it's just a speech delay, but I urge you to get to the bottom of it.

I think you're getting the OP mixed up with me. The OP has a son and daughter and her son has some behavior issues with going out. I have an 8 yr old with autism and a 20 month old that understands a lot more than he can say. He is saying a lot, but still seems a little delayed. I am still waiting on that word explosion. I know the signs of autism and the 20 month old certainly doesn't have it. The 20 month old is very verbal, just not speaking many words or putting them together. The only two word phrase he says is "kitty cat". And yes the 8 yr old is my biological child. I know in today's world my situation is unique in that I got married then had my eldest 5 years later. Then my youngest about 6 1/2 years after that. I still resent your remark because NO ONE KNOWS the cause of autism. Though I appreciate your concern because I know the statistics of siblings being at higher risk. Younger brothers of boys being a 1 in 3 chance of having it. My eldest is very high functioning and I would be surprised if my youngest has it because the younger siblings usually have a higher functioning form than their older siblings.

I did confuse you with OP, sorry about that. However...resent what remark? I only mentioned a boy with an older sibling who has autism is at higher risk because it runs in families, which you already know. I have two boys, my 3 year old has autism. I'm watching my youngest closely, because yes, he is at greater risk, as you are aware. I thought you were OP, so disregard, but my advice to her remains the same, I'd err on the side of caution. Again, I see nothing offensive in my post, but I get it because I, too, can at times be overly sensitive around the issue of autism. Sorry.

queenofkings76 · February 2012

DS is 20 months old and has been talking for awhile. He is now speaking 3-4 word sentences. He has been using sign language since he was 3 months old so we rarely have trouble communicating with him.

We were told that most temper tantrums happen because the child can't communicate with you what they want. Sign language helps communication.

With that said I think all children learn at their own pace and you shouldn't compare his growth to other 20 mo old boys. Though it is a good gaging tool.

Fashiongal1973 · February 2012

DS has been talking since 9 months. He has a huge vocabulary and strings multiple words together. He is definitely an anomaly in our MOM's group. He even speaks better than some of the three year olds.

ali_bl-nov05 · February 2012

DS has quite a bit of words and is making 3 and 4 word sentences.

Having said that, some of said "words", can't be understood by people other than me and DH. Also, remember that all kids are different, odds are your LOs do plenty of things that mine can't yet.

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