Attachment Parenting

well the potty training board was no help...

hopefully one of you can help a girl out!

DS potty learned at about 27 months. Now suddenly for the past month he has been having major problems with pooping in his pants. Like only tells us he has to go 1 in an entire week so the other 13 or so times are in his pants (or pull-ups at night and nap time). He is great about telling us when he has to pee so we can help him on the potty. Even if we catch him going poop and take him to the potty he won't go the rest on there. He holds it for maybe another half hour or so and goes in his pants again. He doesn't seem to mind it being in there either.

Also if we see the signs and ask if he needs to go he says no and really doesn't want to go to the potty and then a little while later of course it is too late.

 We are so frustrated! It went so well for so long! If it matters we did the 3 day method with him and he has always told us when he needed to go. We only "try" before we leave the house or go outside. He almost always pees then but never really poops.

we act really excited if he goed on the potty and give him lots of attention. When he goes in his pants we say poopy belongs the potty and clean him up. The other day he had only underwear on and went on the potty on his own. So I have been showing him how easy it is to pull down his own pants and telling him he can go all by himself if he has to go. Thinking it was a new indipendence thing but it hasn't really helped much.  

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: well the potty training board was no help...

  • I think pooping is just really hard. My LO didn't go until a- we eliminated her night diaper (where she was going), b- we implemented a reward of two chocolate chips when she does poop and c- we started bringing in her footstool and letting her read books/ use it to bear down. Your LO could be afraid to go because it is hurting or maybe he needs help learning how to bear down from a seated position. The chocolate chips worked for us (LO has tons of food allergies and never has treats so it's a big deal) because, for her, the hassle/ fear of pooping is worth it to get the chocolate chips. I tried other inscentives but they never worked (a sticker chart, etc). If you can find a small, consistent reward that can be given immediately and that motivates him, he will stop!
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  • Thing is he used to go on the potty to poop too. Plus the times that he does go on the potty he seems proud and happy not like he has discomfort. Maybe we will try to think up a good reward though and see if that helps.

    Oh and he does have foot stool and seems to like having his pants and undies off to go which we are fine with.

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  • You say that it might be an independence thing? What about giving him some room to assert independence more elsewhere?
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  • Do you think maybe it's a privacy thing?  Some kids just want to be alone when they poop.  Maybe the praise thing is backfiring because he doesn't want attention when he poops. What would happen if you left him without pants when you know he needs to poop?  Do you think he would go to the toilet on his own?

     Also, do you have him help clean up the poop in his underwear?  Maybe having him help soak his undies and participate in the clean-up will help him to understand that this is more work than it's worth to poop his pants. 

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  • My DS was potty trained at 23 months.  We took a vacation this month and it totally set him back.  He was much more interested in playing with his cousins than using the potty.  Since we have been back home, we have found that we have to have him bottomless again in order to get him to use the potty regularly.  If he has underwear on, he has accidents.  Hoping a few more days of this and we can get him back on track.  Perhaps the same thing would work in your situation?  DS definitely is aware of when he has to go #1 or #2, it is just a matter of making sure he has the motivation to use the potty.
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  • imagepoison489:
    My DS was potty trained at 23 months.  We took a vacation this month and it totally set him back.  He was much more interested in playing with his cousins than using the potty.  Since we have been back home, we have found that we have to have him bottomless again in order to get him to use the potty regularly.  If he has underwear on, he has accidents.  Hoping a few more days of this and we can get him back on track.  Perhaps the same thing would work in your situation?  DS definitely is aware of when he has to go #1 or #2, it is just a matter of making sure he has the motivation to use the potty.

    yes!  my DD used the potty at 21 months but then even now (at 3 yrs) will have days she is very resistant to going.  they have so much learning going on in those little brains, who knows what their reasons are for being so wacky with the potty.  but i do think pants-free is always helpful.  we never use rewards, besides excitement when she was first learning, but i know they work for some people.  maybe put a tiny potty in his play area so if it's urgent, he can go there, and then help dump it in the big toilet?  or even just a kids potty in the bathroom that he can pick out himself at the store, so he can feel a little more 'in control'?  good luck!

     

  • so glad I'm not alone! We went on vacation and it started there so maybe that had an effect but we have been home for 3 weeks and the problem is still present. I was hoping we would get back on track quicker. We have gone back to just underwear or naked from the waist down which has helped a bit.
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  • How do you keep him entertained while on the potty?   You need something to get his mind off of it so he can relax.  You can try books, blowing bubbles, singing, my son is a big fan of the ipad:)  This is the only time he gets to play with the ipad, so he wants to sit on the potty for a long time, I have to make him get off.

    Someone mentioned that having them face the back of the toilet helps them with #2's, the positioning is better. 

     Lastly, a reward.  With us it's a bit weird.  we noticed our son had interest in the blender, so we told him that if he went potty we would turn the blender on for him.  I usually put just water and little bit of food coloring and turn it on for him to watch.  He gets really excited.   Other days, he's more into the microwave, so I let him push buttons and tell him that he can do it again next time he goes potty.  I haven't tried a reward chart or m&m's yet, but that may work.  Just find what he seems to love doing and that can be his reward.

     

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