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February 2012 Moms
poobear2015
member
Why I'll never "plan" again - Hayley's birth story (long)
poobear2015
member
Sunday - all day - I had TERRIBLE pressure in my back and butt. I also started bleeding - not red, but enough that I called the dr. He said just hang out, and he'd see me the next day at my appointment. Wasn't very concerned. So neither was I. By the time DH came home from bowling, I was howling in pain every 10 min. I even tried a bath - helped somewhat but not enough. So we stayed up until midnight, just trying to rub the pain out. It never felt like true contractions though - just pressure/pain in my back end.
At 1:40 AM Monday, I felt like LO headbutted me and I heard a pop. I was wearing a pad and when I stood up, felt a little bit of fluid. I wasn't sure it was it though - since it wasn't a HUGE gush (I imagined niagra falls!) Even when I ran to the toilet - it still wasn't much, just dribbles. So I called the dr. though - since the pain was now at 7ish min. He told me to go get checked out - and not to be upset if they sent me home. DH ran FRANTICALLY around trying to pack (he never listens to me). By then, I could barely walk to the car. We got there and every time I felt the extreme pressure - I had my waterfall gushes I imagined - so I knew my water broke. Sure enough - I was 4 cm and water did break - so they suited me up and got me goin!
All went well - epidural, took a nap, woke up around 10:30 when I finally felt a twinge of pain and found out I was 10 cm! Easy - so I thought....
They had me pushing for 3 hours. It was so much harder than I imagined, since they told me to push through my rectum...but I couldn't FEEL my rectum - not sure if that was because of her position or the epidural. I will say though that I now knew what a TRUE contraction felt like instead of the pressure.
They tried everything - and he broke out the forceps. DH was in tears watching this - I have no memory since I was heavily medicated at this point (they had to add to the epidural to give me more energy to push) He told me he never saw me in so much pain - and never wants to again! He couldn't handle it - but was so strong for me b/c I don't have any memory of him not coaching me on through this.
Forceps were a fail...When the dr. looked up, I just knew from his face. I told him not to tell me, and he said, I'm sorry - we have to do a c-section. I've tried, you tried, we did everything we could. The waterworks just started! I was devastated that I just couldn't do it. I know I wasn't a failure - but you couldn't convince me of that at the time.
Then we were flying! DH was changed, I was prepped, and I swear every nurse in the building was by my side at that moment! They gave me the option of waiting an hour for a spinal or trying another epidural. I said epi since it had worked so well and I couldn't wait in this pain for another hour. So they wheeled me away - DH in the hall - and go to town.
They were just about to bring DH in, and the dr. pinched where he wanted to cut - and I said "ow". He said are you kidding? Everywhere he pinched where he needed to cut, I could feel. The epidural hadn't worked, and I had to be put to sleep. The one nurse held my head and wiped even more tears when I bawled - since now I couldnt see the birth of my daughter, and neither could DH. I was devastated for both of us. I didn't have a choice, and I knew that - so all I could do was cry and say "I know". Next thing I knew - I was out. That nurse though - took care of DH, took my camera from him, and photographed everything she could - and I love her to death for that! Hayley was born at 1:43 PM on Monday - 1 day early.
When I woke up, DH was in the rocking chair, we were back in the room, and he had the tiniest little creature who was a complete stranger to me - until he brought her over. He told me he wouldn't even kiss her til I got to - that I deserved the first kiss for all I went through. I still cry when I think of that.
I didn't have much of a birth plan (except I didn't want to see LO all bloody and gross - well I got that wish for sure, just not how I meant it...) but now I know that really, everything could get tossed out the window in a second. Apparently her head was chin up instead of chin down, and so she couldn't get over the pelvic bone or something. It doesnt matter. Even though now I will never get to have my babies "normally" (most likely), it was all worth it for this little beauty. She was all worth it!
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Re: Why I'll never "plan" again - Hayley's birth story (long)
Congrats on your little girl!!! What an amazing story even if it didnt go how you planned!