Not using potty at preschool

yale · February 2012

We did the 3-day potty training with DS back in September. He has done really well with it. Every once in awhile we have a small accident or he's wet when he wakes up, but it's not a regular thing.

He started preschool 3 half days/week back in January. At that time the class was new and there were only 3 kids. He had one accident that first month, which I didn't think was too bad. Now the class is up to 7 and I think he's getting distracted or scared or something else because he's wet his pants the last 3 classes. Yesterday, the teachers said they asked him periodically throughout the class and he ended up wetting his pants anyway.

I've been limiting fluids before class and taking him to the potty when we leave for school and when we get there. Not sure what else to do. DH and I think they just need to tell him it's time to go and take him... which I can suggest tomorrow. I think they're going to tell me to start bringing him in pullups soon... which we've never used. I'm not sure he'll cooperate with that (he always hated wearing a diaper), but I also don't want preschool to be all about using the potty while he's there. We enrolled him because we wanted him to be around kids his age who talk (he's got a speech delay). I want it to be fun and not frustrating or traumatizing. Thoughts?

lmdbww · February 2012

He's pretty newly PT, to be honest, and it is not uncommon to have a few series of regressions this early in the game. Being in a new environment with the addition of other children into the class all the time can definitely cause stress and make him distracted. Your intentions are good but maybe he just isn't ready yet...

DD had to be fully independant in the potty before starting preschool and I didn't start her until she was 3 (so we had a full year to work on every aspect of it with her). I'm not sure I would have been comfortable sending her earlier (but i'm weird like that...)

kmhunt11 · February 2012

Potty training is rarely a do it and be done with it process. DD has been potty trained since 2 years 3 months, but there have been many times over the past 1.5+ yrs that she's regressed. Sometimes it's clear why she does it (i.e. we moved or she found out there's going to be a new baby), and other times I can see no reason. She's been in a phase lately where she wets her pants every day at recess or just after. I'm pretty sure she does it because she likes a mid-day wardrobe change. Can he change his own clothes when he's wet? If so, his teachers might be ok with being patient for this phase to pass. You could tell them that you don't believe in pull-ups. Many parents (and pediatricians) don't. If it's a deal-breaker and they say he has to wear a pull up or leave, that's a different story, but I bet they'll work with you. He's still very young, so don't stress about it and don't make a big deal out of it. It'll pass

akayf · February 2012

Since you mentioned he has a language delay....is he in a program for children with special needs? I'm a special ed teacher in an inclusion preschool program and we would never tell a parent to put a child back into pull ups.

Has he ever peed in the toilet in school? Is the bathroom in his class or down the hall? He might have not made the connection that he can pee in the school toilet. He might need that a-moment.

Jena503 · February 2012

My only suggestion is that the teacher should simply tell him it's potty time and have him try instead of just asking if he needs to go. Honestly, I do the same with my 4yo at times as well as my 2yo - before we get in the car/go to the park/get in the tub/when we all go to the public restroom because 1 of us had to go... everyone has to try to potty. I'm forever telling her you don't have to go, you just have to try. Sometimes that pee pee is sneaky. And they both almost always pee when I make them try.

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