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Recommended custody/visitation schedule for 6-month-old?

gy86gy86 member
in Single Parents

Hi, I've posted on here a few times before... I'm slowly trying to work up the courage to formalize a parenting agreement with LO's father.  He and I are on good terms but do not cohabit and have dated on and off for the past 7 years, and so far he has informally being splitting daycare & diaper expenses with me, and done alright.

Currently he takes the baby off my hands about 1 or 2 overnights per month, and he usually visits us for dinner at my house about once a week.  I would like to formalize some sort of arrangement so that I can rely on him to provide baby care on certain days or times -- right now, it's totally random and short-term notice, which drives me nuts because I feel like I always have to "ask him" for a "break."  I also recognize now and espeically as our daughter grows, she will really need consistency in her life and establishing regular "daddy days" is a huge part of that.

I don't want either of us wasting our money on legal fees if we can avoid it (and we probably can), but I don't even know where to begin.  What is a typical visitation schedule for a baby that young?  I feel like the court process is so formalized and overly adverserial where it pits me against him, instantly triggering everyone's anger and defense mechanisms.  Any advice from other on-good-term parents as to the best way to approach this?

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Re: Recommended custody/visitation schedule for 6-month-old?

  • DaringMissDaringMiss member

    First thing you have to do is meet with a family law attorney.    

    Bottom line, you need to know your rights and what you are entitled to ask **for your child**.  Even if you don't need the money right now, you can set it aside for a college fund.  Plus, you could lose your job or become disabled, so having the child support agreement in place will take the uncertainty away and will prevent any delay in enforcement.

    Additionally, you guys could end up not being such good friends at some point.  He could get a girlfriend that hates the fact that he is so available to you.  He could get a job that requires him to move away.  There are dozens of variable that could come into play over the next 2 decades, so you should get something in writing now to clarify each of your rights and responsibilities going forward.

    Plus, what is working now may not work when the child is 6 or 10 or 15.  Talking to an experienced family law attorney will help you understand what kind of agreements other parents have formed for their children.  You can customize an agreement that works for you two. 

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