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Might be random but Loss-related...spending money.

CaroleeCarolee member
in Late Term and Child Loss

I feel like I have gone on a spending spree since losing Eliott/the other two and then dealing with IF and the failed IVF.  I am buying things that I wouldn't normally buy for myself ($$$ handbags/jewelry, etc).  It's almost like I'm trying to buy myself happiness. 

Does anyone else do this?  This can't be a healthy way to cope.  There are lots of better things I could be doing with my money than buying stuff.

Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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Re: Might be random but Loss-related...spending money.

  • erbarmywifeerbarmywife member
    I have noticed that I'm spending a bit more, but it's never for me.  I'm buying more for my kids, almost like I feel guilty that I cant buy for the twins, so I buy for my living kids.  It's weird.
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers Mother to Gavin, born September 11, 2007, and Magdalena, born March 21, 2009, Angel Baby MC February 13, 2010, Cynthia, born August 28, 2010 and gone September 17, 2010, Gabriella, born and gone August 28, 2010, and Abigayle, born March 12, 2012
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  • pottermommypottermommy member
    I did that big time!!  I bought a bike to go mountain biking, new purses, a whole new wardrobe, movies movies and more movies.....Yeah I was out of control.
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  • Auki13Auki13 member
    Same here!  I want to spend a bunch of money on things for Annabelle that we just can't afford right now (remembrance items like jewelry, memory box, tattoo...)  And I know we can do it all in time, but I want to get it all NOW.  I have also been a lot more lenient on getting our other two things when we used to wait on treats and things.  We have so many bills to catch up on and I just can't focus on that.  It's been quite a struggle actually.
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • CaroleeCarolee member

    I hate that you ladies are also struggling with this, but I'm glad I'm not alone.  I just wish actually buying the stuff made me feel better.  :(

     

    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • lovemymaddylovemymaddy
    I'm spending more too. Sometimes it makes me feel good as though I need something to make me feel nicer or something but then the other half of the time I come home and have buyer's remorse because as I look at the item i KNOW i never would have bought it if Timmy were here
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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    Shortly after losing our twins dh and I went on a big shopping spree, even buying things such as a new bedding set. Since then I've still treated myself to things I most likely never would've if our babies were here.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    I've actually been the opposite. I just don't care about things anymore. If DD truly needs something then I'll go out & get it for her but I can't stand being in malls & stores where there are so many pg moms & babies. I had to buy her a pair of tights just before Xmas & I could not get in & out of that store any faster.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • foxxy1foxxy1 member
    I spent a small fortune after Ethan's birthday. I finally stopped with the purchase of my memorial ring but yeah...it was pretty bad. I pretty much bought just about anything I could. 
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  • Mjmksb04Mjmksb04 member

    Yes, I did that like crazy after losing DD #1. Mostly buying clothes for myself and trying to make myself feel better, at least on a physical level. This time I recognize that I shouldn't do it and have tried to avoid the mall.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
    DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
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  • karebear57karebear57 member
    Yea, I find myself doing this much more now since I couldn't after Bri was born. But since I'v since gotten my refund...I bought my DH a vespa, myself a charm bracelet, but I still want a necklace i realize, and we've been going out to eat so much. But we're also catching up on bills and fixing our car so it won't all be spent on crap!
    Tim 12/30/00 Brad 4/30/02 Alex 9/29/03 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • figgs0831figgs0831 member
    Raises hands wildly! After my first loss... I bought a new jeep. After this loss, I went on a furniture spree. My living room looks amazing. I haven't done a damn thing for myself, but am spending like crazy on things for home, food shopping, and random things.

     Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
    Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012

     After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows

    ((BFP 7/29/13))  ((EDD 4/12/14))  It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!

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  • lpeter01lpeter01
    I am guilty of this too.  I even bought the rocker recliner for the nursery so I can sit in there and read.   I declined a shopping trip with a friend today to avoid buying anything else..  I think we are trying to fill a void.  That and drinking too much Red wine..  God help me!   
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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