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Multiples
SAHM or Working Moms?
Hi -
Just wondering who here is a SAHM and those who work outside the home? And if that played a role in how many children you have/will have?
I work outside the home and would love to have one more but 3 in daycare would be so expensive. But, I couldn't imagine me staying at home full time with 3 little ones either!
So, whats your situation and how do you make it work? TIA!
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Re: SAHM or Working Moms?
I work. I know I wasn't done after the twins so we took the plunge and had #3.
Yes, 3 in DC sucks, but we make it work.
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
I'm a SAHM. DH and I discussed me staying home very early in our relationship and agreed that's how our family would be. I quit my job about 6m before TTC because the neighborhood was just too dangerous. We decided it would be foolish for me to get a different job for just a few months then quit again. I was a SAHW for about 15 months (from June 2006 until DS1 was born in September 2007). The number of children we wanted never played a role in me staying home or working.
I SAH....I taught for 11 years so, I feel like I did my time before kids. I will probably go back when we move back to Texas and all the kids are in school.
I have Emerson in preschool 5 days a week from 8:30 to 11:30. The babies go the same time, three days a week right now. Next year, all of them will go five days a week for the morning hours. It's hard but, it's not worth it for me to go back to work and pay what FT DC would cost.
I SAH. I used to be a teacher before DDs. I subbed when the girls were 1 and during my pregnancy with #3 but stopped as it wouldn't make financial sense anymore in our case for 3 kids. Now I SAH with DS but have DDs in a MDO program 2 xs a week. It has been such a great set up for us and allows them to have some social time with other toddlers their age and lets me have 1-on-1 time w/ DS (and get caught up with stuff around the house).
I work full time and we will have 3 in day care starting this summer. We'll have little money left over to play with, but I really wanted more than one child. So, we'll just live with the basics until they're in school...and public school it will be!
I should also say that SAH is something I have never considered - I had a well-established career before having kids, and I always knew I would work while raising them.
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
After 2 years, Injects, PCOS diagnosis and 2 IUI's, we were blessed with our beautiful twin girls!
Baby Girl #3!
I work. We could afford more babies. But with our careers we want to be there as much as we can, and we're not sure having another baby is a good idea. I still have time to have more kids....so we'll see.
If I stayed home, not sure if it would change the decision.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
I SAH. DH and I also discussed this early in our relationship and thought it would likely be the best fit for our family.
While I was on mat leave, I was talking about returning part-time in some capacity, and then I got laid off b/c my office closed. I was offered relocation to a different state, so I turned it down. Easy decision.
We always planned to have a big family, and SAH had no part in that. I'll have 3 LOs at home pretty soon, and I know I'll make it work. My girls are so much more independent now, so it's not like caring for two or more newborns!
I plan to go back to work when all of my kids are in school full time.
I work FT but since I'm my own boss, that means M-Thurs. Its a perfect balance for me. We are having #3 soon and will be paying a nanny twice our monthly mortgage to watch the kids. Yes it's expensive, but it's also short-term. Afterall, they do go to school eventually.
The original plan was for me to be a SAHM, but 5 days before the girls were born, DH was downsized. So instead, I went back to work (thank god I didn't put in my notice when I was put on bedrest) when the girls were 8 weeks old. DH was a SAHD/full time student for their first 15 months. The last 6 months we've both been working, and my mom has watched them.
We'll know next week if DH is getting a job that will allow me to finally be a SAHM and allow him to support the family. All talk of more kids has been tabled during the last 2 years, so we may or may not have more. Either way, DH will be working rotating 12 hour shifts, so I will SAH with the kids at least until the youngest is in kindergarten.
This! All of it! Well said Kristen!
pretty much this exactly.
5 REs + 3 surgical hysteroscopies for septum/lap + 3 failed IUIs
IVF w/ICSI/AH & acu = BFP!, unexplained spontaneous m/c @ 8w2d (our little girl),
FET w/acu = BFP!, B/G twins!, lost MP @19w, dx w/funneling cervix @20w,
twins nearly lost to IC @21w, saved by rescue cerclage, 17P & 16w of bedrest
Our twins born @36w4d via CS when A came foot first
Thankful for every day
I SAH and have a few very PT/project-based jobs I do from home. Both financially and in terms of what we wanted, it makes the most sense for us. It's been really hard at times but I know working FT would've been really tough at times, too! Finding a good childcare situation, trying to juggle work with all the kids and household stuff, etc.; none of it's easy!
I became a SAHM but not by choice. After my 8 weeks was up I called my employer (I was a subcontractor) and they had no work for me and had layed off 10 full time people while I was out. It took me until the girls were 6 months old to find a job (Fall 2008 = economy sucked). I was layed off from my new job after 6 months (right before the girls turned 1). Again due to economy Army contractor needed to make cuts. It was so hard keeping that job the first 6 months because my DH was always on the road, so if the girls got sick or I had to work late, I didn't have any back up, I had to leave work or pay the fee for them staying late until I could get there. It so sucked, I was constantly stressed out about it. So once I was layed off we decided to just have me SAH.
It has been almost 3 years since I have worked and I don't miss it. Somedays I miss the conversation with adults (DH is only home 3 days a month, so I am always with the girls), but I don't miss the stress of work. If my kids are sick and crabby, I don't have to take them out, we can stay home and veg on the couch all day and I don't feel guilty about not being at work. I do miss the money, but honestly since we moved back to FL, if I worked full time I would only take in about $300 a month from my check, the rest would go to daycare and commuting costs. And again I would have to deal with the stress of not having back up if they are sick or I have to work late.
Orginally we had planned on me going back to work full time when DH retires from the military in about 19 months. But now that is on hold. DH will work when he gets back and also collect his retirement check every month, so I don't have to work. We decided the first year at his new job, I would stay home so he could establish himself in his new job. After that I will probably look into part time work, around his schedule. See even with the girls in school full time you still have to pay for before and aftercare and in our district every Wednesday is an early release day. Yes, every.single.Wednesday they are released from school 2 hours early, so the teachers can catch up on work and do their continuing education training. It will cost me about $150-$200 a week for 2 kids in before and after care. Also it will cost us about $200-$250 a week for 2 in camp the 11 weeks they are off in the summer. It will be better for us if I am available to be home for after school and during the summer and work in the evenings and weekends. I will probably do this until they are old enough to be home on their own at about 12 years old. But we will see, things may change, we will go with the flow.
Oh and I tried to talk DH into being a SAHD and I go back to work when he retires, but he said he would be too bored when the girls would be in school and would go nuts. Men!
This is pretty much our situation, expect our kids were 6 months when DH lost his job. DH landed a good job and I've been home now for 4 months and we are talking about TTCing again.
I work PT about 20 hours a week. DH works every 3rd day. Between the two of us someone is home with the boys most of the time but we have a nanny who comes when our schedules overlap.
Our decision to have more kids is not based on money as much as it is based on what DH will allow
I'd have a huge family if he'd let me. But because he has a lot of alone time with the kids we're more inclined to not have as many. If I SAH completely we might have more as I wouldn't be sharing the responsibility as much. Or maybe we'd have less bc of income. Who knows.