having a hard time lately.. =(

niknak1128 · February 2012

So it's been almost 6 months since we lost our baby. I'm doing ok overall.. we're officially TTC this month which is exciting and scary all at the same time. I'm really having a hard time at work though. I have a co-worker who is about 24 weeks pregnant. In general, we get along very well. Her son is almost the same age as my son and her husband is the same kinda guy that my husband is and we just have a lot in common generally. Lately though, I can hardly stand to look at her. When I started TTC'ing with my loss.. she went on and on and on about how she was NOT ready for baby #2 and there's no way she wanted to try anytime soon and maybe not ever. No lie.. the day I told her that I tested positive and was pregnant.. she made a doctor's appointment to start Clomid again. Seriously.. same day. She tried for maybe 3 months and got pregnant. Which is great.. I am not upset that she's pregnant and I wouldn't wish loss on anyone of course. But it seems like she sort of puts it in my face a lot. I mean obviously she's showing and you can't hide that and we do talk so she tells me things but sometimes she says comments that just make me question her sincerity.

My other struggle is that when I lost.. my water broke at work in my bosses office. At first, it was just a little trickle and I called my OB and left. All my boss said was ok let me know what happens. With my co-worker.. I swear all she has to do is fart and everyone is falling all over her. She got light headed the other day and almost passed out and my boss took her to her office and let her lay down on her coat on the floor and put her feet up. She thought she had a UTI a while ago and had to go get an u/s and my boss offered to send someone with her. My f**king water broke and NO ONE offered to go with me or fell all over me. In fact, when I came back to work.. it took her a MONTH to even speak to me. Seriously.

Sorry.. I just need to vent. Am I crazy or is that just nuts? I mean I just feel really disrespected and not cared about at all.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · February 2012

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I sometimes feel like we're maybe oversensitive to things sometimes but I've also learned that people can be down right rude or just simply don't think. I get so ticked off when I hear people complaining about their pregnancies or their babies being sick or how they're not getting any sleep.

I don't think you're crazy in the slightest. If my water would have broken at work I would hope at least someone would care. That's horrible! Hope things start getting better for you soon. {{HUGS}}

figgs0831 · February 2012

((huge hugs)) you are not nuts. It is very easy to be sensitive and it does seem strange with the special treatment. I also know that some people do not know how to deal with situations like ours. When your water breaks, you "should" be full term, not before. People tend to not understand the implications of that. I also had that friend who flaunted her pregnancy to me after my first loss. It sucks. you need to tell her how you feel. Supposedly my friend didn't realize she was being an insensitive b*tch. Now we barely talk at all...

niknak1128 · February 2012

I know you're right.. I think she's starting to realize that I'm annoyed but I don't know if she realizes why. She came into my office this morning and said hey buddy you seem down what's up? And I didn't know what to say. I just feel sad about it. I feel guilty that I don't want to be around pregnant people because it's not that I blame them or that I'm not happy for them... it just hurts and is hard to be around when I'm trying to start my journey all over again.. back at square one. My baby would be almost a month old right now. The little girl I was hoping for. It just sucks.

The work stuff is just upsetting because I've been here for 6 years and I have a good relationship with everyone here. I was promoted last year.. I'm a good performer.. there's no reason why my boss should not 'like' me but I feel like she doesn't. My co-worker has been here for a year and she's more outgoing than I am but my boss literally falls all over her. It's just hurtful!

weddedwife · February 2012

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I have a hard time dealing w/ pregnant people so I can only imagine how hard it would be if it was in my face every day at work.

I bet your boss is paranoid now with pregnant women in general because of what happened to you. He (she?) is probably worried the same thing will happen with this girl and maybe even feels guilty that your water broke at work and more wasn't done to help you. Of course, being an "authority figure" at work, your boss isn't likely to tell you all of this. Especially if he's a man.

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