Am I stupid? Question about PCS Orders
boymomstrong
member
So as you can see from my siggy I am pregnant. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, and he has been on sea duty the WHOLE time. He has dreams to make Chief, and i guess they say if you want to advance be at sea. Ok i understand this, I married him know it... Not the issue... Here is my issue....
We are up for orders again, and I would LOVE to go over seas. I have never been before, and our options are Guam or Japan. He will be on a boat again and gone for deployment again. This is his last chance to be on a ship then the Navy is going to force him to shore. Is it stupid to want to move away from family with a new baby, and go so far away knowing he will be gone most of the time? We know there will be time when kids will be young and he will be gone, we are prepared for that, but with a new baby to be gone?
Should we look at stay stateside? Should he opt for his shore orders now? Just owndering if there is any one with a little more experience out there who can shed some light... 
)
Thank you ladies!
PS we have talked to family about this, and this is the first grandbaby on both sides, so no one wants us to leave CA... I feel like they may be a little biased. )
Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!
Baby Dust To All!!!
Re: Am I stupid? Question about PCS Orders
It just really depends on how independent you are. DH is deployed and I live on the opposite coast as my family. I miss my them, but I like being on my own too. For us, it's the best choice.
Do you know if he would have an opportunity to go overseas again? I lived in Okinawa, Japan for four years and loved every second of it. I got the assignment when I was months away from separating. I ended up re-enlisting so I could go and am so grateful I did.
I am a VERY independent person, Ilike things my way, in my home, on my own. Always have been.
He may have the opportunity to go again, but with the cuts, the navy told us that we would need to be a family of 4 or less to qualify for over sea orders. Thats good for right now, but we want to have our next baby in the next 3 years, and being IVF, there is no gurantee that i wont get twins shooting us past 4 to 5 and then we are out. So I am worried if we dont go now, we may not go ever...
I Would LOVE to go to JAPAN, but my hubby is worried. He says JApan is glowing right now, and its not safe for kids...
Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!
Baby Dust To All!!!
We are stationed in Guam and expecting our first child. I honestly didn't think it would be that bad living away from family and being pregnant/expecting a baby, we have lived away from our families for almost 10 years and we've loved it! We have even lived overseas before-- him in Korea, me in Spain and we both loved it!
Guam is a whole other ball park though---- with shipping restrictions on baby items we want (we can't get stollers shipped here from ANYWHERE-- the only choices are at the NEX or Kmart-- and Kmart is so gross and expensive here), expensive flights (and not much of a chance of getting Space A out of here), we've been here a year with no chance of getting home before the baby comes (too late in pregnancy now) or anytime until possibly July for family to meet the baby--- tickets home are upwards of 1400 dollars (sometimes more, sometimes a little less depending on airline prices and time of the year).
Plus, unless you're into scuba diving or lounging on the beach (which I am not)--- you will literally do everything there is to do on Guam within 2 or 3 months... Driving here is an experience all in itself---I have near nervous breakdowns every time I have to get behind the wheel for doctor's appointments, etc.
Are you dual military? If not, plan on not having a job when you get here for at least a year or so--- I have not been able to get a job (I know I'm pregnant now, but even before) and I am a teacher and have my masters. I was even applying for entry level jobs, jobs on base, jobs around town... nothing!
Some people really seem to like it here--- I guess I'm just not the 'island lifestyle' person they are. But I would definately take these things into consideration before deciding on Guam. Everyone I've talked to who has been stationed in Japan has loved it though.
Sorry this got long.
Thank you for the info... I am totally an Island girl! But I am not sure if i could hang with Kmart! lol I really appreciate the response, and while I could lay on the beach every day, and did when we were in Hawaii, I would need a job. I dont think I do that all day long EVERY day!
My hubby is active. I am the dependent. We have friends there, and I would be able to child care for a job, but i am just not sure I want to be some where thats so hard for family to visit. Thank you again.... :O)
Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!
Baby Dust To All!!!
Just adding another point of view...
I've been around kids my entire life, i'm the oldest of 5, always babysat, helped all my friends and family with their kids...
I'm also extremely independent... my DH wanted me to move in with my mom while he deployed to save money for a house and I just couldn't imagine not being in my own home (I'm 27 years old and have been living on my own since 18).
That being said... my DH deployed when our LO was 8 weeks old... and let me tell you, being close to my family has been a godsend. Life with your own newborn as a FTM is soooo much work, and just being able to go over there a few days a week for dinner and getting an hour break saves my life. my LO is now 5 months, but it seriously is exhausting - so I'm just very grateful to have family nearby.
Living abroad is an amazing experience for those who can handle being away from the US and leaving our stateside comforts. I am a very independent person as well, and I made some wonderful friendships while we lived in England. The community was tight nit and we got to travel and do things most people only dream of. The one's who loved being overseas were those who got out and enjoyed the culture. The one's that hated life were the ones that stayed cooped up in their base house morning the loss of Target and Walmart (no joke I knew people like this). You have skype, email, facebook, etc and it is pretty easy to stay in touch with family that way. My family got to see Europe at a very reasonable cost and something they never thought they would be able to do. When a baby is young they really don't understand family coming and going or the process of saying goodbye. Unlike a 5 or 6 year old that had only known Grandma and Grandpa close by then moving across the world.
Ok so all that being said. If you want to do it, don't let missing family stop you.
Go to Guam or Japan! They are both amazing places. I agree with pp though. You need to be an independent person, willing to explore the culture, meet new people, experience different things and just take it all in.
It is seriously a once in a lifetime chance and you are lucky to have it. DH and I are both AD and we've had one tour in Okinawa and have both traveled through mainland Japan and have passed through Guam.
Such great places!
My husband is currently assigned to a ship in Sasebo, Japan. It's so far away from the nuclear disaster. In fact, people in CA saw effects due to wild than people in Southern Japan did.
I really like it here. For me, I lived in GA my whole life (born, grew up, schooled, married) and then he got stationed out here. It was rough for me at first, but I had to get involved or else I was going to go crazy. Where we are, the ships go out frequently, but don't stay out for long. They might go out four times a year, but stay out anywhere from a few weeks to a couple months. And for me, that's really nice. I don't have to go too long without him.
I'm not sure on your timeline with this and PCS'ing, but my understanding goes is that there are no facilities available for this type of treatment in Japan, or at least not where we are at. So, that's something you'll have to also take into consideration before you make your next move.