Dual Military Parents

Re: Dual Military Parents

• MrsOjoButtons member

  January 2012

  The biggest concerns for us are what to do with the kids in the event we're both gone at the same time (family care plan) and the day to day planning for what to do if we are both stuck in an exercise or stuck working late and can't get our kids out of daycare on time (another family care plan issue).  And obviously, the cost of getting our kids to family members in the event we're both TDY/deployed.

  We've already had two overlapping deployments/TDYs and just finding care for dogs was tough. 

  Good luck to you and congratulations on your son!

  Twin boys due 7/25/12

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• RelativeChaos00 member

  January 2012

  Oddly enough, for us the long term care is the easy part!  My younger sister and her husband have been very happily voluntold to take the baby and the dogs were something like that to happen.  Lol, she may be hoping for it at just so she gets to steal them!  They are on the other side of the country, naturally, so the cost of getting them there is an issue I'll need to remember.  At this station my husband works with some amazing people so I know that getting out of work early to pick up the baby from daycare wouldn't be an issue, but that's something that could very likely change at the next one and I know we still have to have an alternate person at least on paper.  That part may not be easy, we haven't been here horribly long and only really know the other soldiers in his section.  From everyone I've talked to it sounds as though the Family Care Plan is the hardest part of being dual military. 
  

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• pesci12

  January 2012

  I think the Family Care Plan is the toughest part but it looks like you got that part figured out.  The only other crappy part is overlapping TDYs and deployments like PP said.  I ended up separating before we had LO because DH and I decided it would be best for us.  It is so much easier for me especially with him deployed right now, but I know tons of dual military couples that make it work just fine.  Congratulations and good luck!

  

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• sguthrie12

  February 2012

  My husband and I are both AD AF. I worked with a recruiter two years ago and I know for the AF, you won't be allowed to enlist (unless you give up both yours and your husband's parenting rights to your child). I am not sure if it is the same with the Army, but the rules stand as: you cannot join if you have a dependent if you are a single parent or if you are going to be dual military.  Now, if you are dual military (like my situation) and THEN decide to have a child then you are fine. A girl in my shop had to let her mother adopt her daughter just to join. Now it's 3 years later and she is still trying to figure out how to regain custody (mother is cooperating). So I would check with the Army first (you may have already done that) and if you still can, I think it works great! The AF has an option of Join Spouse codes consisting of A, B, and H. A is if you don't have any dependents and if your hubby gets depoyed on a remote tour, you can apply to go on a different remote tour (not allowed to go together). B is the option you pick if you have a dependent and never want to be deployed at the same time so someone will always be home with the child. H is if you don't want to be stationed together at all... (???) Why would someone want H? Well, for example, my hubby is going through a MEB and I am eligible for orders but keep getting passed over because he is ineligible for orders. We know he will be out in 2 months (has a DOS already) so if I change my code to H, then I can get orders. And hubby will become my dependent and we can go together.

  Long post, sorry. I hope it answers your question.Dual military is awesome!

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