Do you get nervous when you encounter people who might not know?

Mjmksb04 · February 2012

I had someone stop by my office to go over a case and he brought with him an intern yesterday. There are photos of my DS and DD #1 in my office and I was on edge, worried that the intern would ask how old my kids are, since I am sure she wasn't informed of my history. I hate having moments like that. She didn't say anything, but I was really stressing in the back of my mind during the meeting. I also hate running into people who I haven't seen in a long time for that reason.

dandywarhol · February 2012

Not a lot of people knew I was pregnant so I don't get many direct questions. I get more nervous about the "So do you have any kids" question or people who do know but who I haven't seen since the loss who say, "It's ok. You'll have more."

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · February 2012

All the time. I work from home so I luckily don't encounter people too much but I was really nervous on vacation, meeting people and having them ask if we had any kids. I also saw someone over the weekend I haven't talked to in a long time and was hoping she didn't say anything to trigger me. Most people we know do know but my poor husband has meetings with external clients all the time and the question comes up all the time and he says it makes his co-workers who know very uncomfortable and then the meeting turns somber. I also hate it when we try to answer the question honestly but to also give a major hint that he's gone. We've tried saying when asked how old he is with "forever 5 weeks and a day" thinking the whole "forever" part would make people get it. It doesn't. Poor husband the other day had a guy respond with "Oh, so you're still a really new parent" Well yeah, but......

BeccaMarie · February 2012

I completely understand and I hate it. An intern started at work while I was out on my latest medical leave and no one thought to fill her in on my life. I had to ask someone to go talk to the intern after I stepped around some benign/friendly questions.

And I have a new client this year whose office I will be out at for a full week. There is no way that small talk won't happen and I am dreading it.

lilyblue021 · February 2012

2 days after my D&E my bf's MIL put her hand on my tummy and asked me "and how is baby"... luckily I was still in shock from the D&E but I had a very awkward reply of "oh, I miscarried, there's no baby there" and she looked at me like I was offside.

Since that day, I am dreading running into people who might've heard the news!!!! Trying to send DH out to all socials solo for now to spread the word and prevent another incident like that

Not cool at all!!!

figgs0831 · February 2012

Yes. I think the only reason I have held it together this long is because I am home and away from people. I am dreading going back to work. I know for a fact that not everyone knows and it scares the hell out of me just thinking of the questions and comments

weddedwife · February 2012

All the time. I try to steer conversations away from these topics as best as I can, but sometimes it doesn't work. It's always in the back of my mind when I talk to people. It makes me so anxious.

olp79 · February 2012

I'm going back to work tomorrow, after 2 weeks, and I know people will be asking me all sorts of questions. It's already making me nervous/sad. I hope people get over it and stop asking questions. Hugs.

JessicaRobb · February 2012

Yes! I also get nervous around people who know but give you that awkward look, don't know what to say so never mention anything...

I hate when people pretend like nothing happened.

magdalina.h · February 2012

Nope, but I'm very open about Aidan. I talk about him often and when we have a new employee, I let them know so when I have a break down they know why.

Heather91705 · February 2012

All.the.time. I had someone ask me yesterday if this was my second, and I said no, it's my third. They then asked how old my kids at home are and I replied that I have a 3 year old at home. That's it. Not sure if they got hte hint, but they stopped asking. It was awkward but I needed to answer as such because DD#2 was still my DD and I am not asking for sympathy but just understanding.

Bread09 · February 2012

Yes! yesterday was a terrible day because I had to go to a large training where I had previously presented twice while I was pregnant. I was so anxious. Some of the people from my office obviously knew, but the majority of people didn't. I had a lot of explaining to do. I spent the lunch hour hiding in my car, tried to take bathroom breaks when I thought there was a break and left early to avoid as many people as possible. It was rough.

I also often get the "how many kids do you have?" or "is he your first?" those bother me too.

lrichmond86 · February 2012

Yes. I had a similar situation just last night, but kind of on the opposite side of things. I was in a choral group in HS that's getting together for a reunion concert so I saw many friends I haven't seen since HS. I'm friends with all of them on FB and I'm sure they all know about baby Gary. None of them said ANYTHING. I was so hurt. I never want to have to explain what happened to us to new people, but I also hate when people who do know ignore it.

pb127 · February 2012

YES! I was sitting on the plane yesterday chatting with a lady and I was *so* worried she'd ask me if I had kids and I was trying to figure out what I would say. 3? 0? I don't know? Thankfully, I kept the conversation on her and avoided it. I had butterflies the whole time though from worrying.

littlepenguin2012 · February 2012

Yes, I do get nervous. I just had a friend from college email me a little while ago and I'm not sure if she knows or not. I am avoiding answering until I can find out from other friends if she knows.

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