Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
MrsLettie
member
Re: Holding the baby after C-sec
Ask! Actually demand that you and your child not be separated...but ask nicely first. As long as you are both healthy you have a right to not allow your child to be taken away from you.
I'd get this squared away in advance. I was also really upset that DD and I were separated after her birth. It is my only c/s regret. If we have a second LO, I will be making sure that barring medical necessity s/he never leaves my sight.
DS: it was ridiculous. The hospital was slammed by hurricane patients coming in from the coast (we were in TX then). I got to see him and hold him with DH's help soon after the delivery, but then they took DS and DH to the nursery while they sewed me up. They couldn't find a permanent room for me after recovery and kept me waiting in this random curtained off area until I finally threw a fit and demanded DS and DH be brought to me, because it made no sense for them to sit in the nursery until I could be moved.
DD: same, got to hold her right after delivery, then off to the nursery with DH. This time we all reunited really quickly when they moved me to my room.
I may have a tubal this time, and asked my OB if that would delay things. He said the tubal is really fast and would add maybe a minute to the process.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
I was shown all of my DDs over the curtain as they were born and they were given to DH after a quick once-over. I held them when I was wheeled back to recovery.
I had a tubal with DD3, it only added an extra 5 mins tops. GL!
THIS! I would have been livid. With my first we were away from family and only my mom had flown in to be with us. I was okay with her being in the nursery with the baby, but this time I really don't want everyone to see the baby before I get the chance to spend time with him/her.
My hospital had a very nice L&D. My doctor showed me my son right after he came out, they let my husband hold him, put him next me, and my husband was holding him for a looooooong time. I went to the recovery with my son next to me, and my husband followed us. My husband held my son and stayed with me for a looooooooong time. I was like, "doesn't he have to get cleaned or something?" and my husband was like, "I don't know, but they want us to be here, so..." Eventually, they came to get him to clean up. He came right back to my room, though. They put him next to me on my bed, and we've been inseparable since:)
I think my hospital really cared about this issue. I didn't request anything, but they were almost pushing him onto me. The nurses would never have let anyone hold hold him before me and my husband.
Proud mother of two breech babies:)
I had one emergency c/s and one planned one. With both, they showed me the baby before the ICU team examined them. DH went with them a and they also have the exam area where you can see so I was watching them get checked out. Once they were cleared, DH held each baby in the OR and had them by my head while they stitched me up. Once I was on the stretcher to go to recovery, they handed me the baby and I held each one until we got to recovery. Then DH and I both had time to hold them.
I also had a tubal after DS was born; added 5-10 minutes max to the whole thing.
love is for every her, love is for every him, love is for everyone
You are not selfish nor did you overreact! This would have infuriated me as well! I told my husband that I was so relieved to find out that nobody was allowed to hold DS (except DH) while they were stitching me back up after my c/s. I had never worried about it prior to delivery because... I didn't think it would be a problem. I figured it was a no brainer to the nursing staff that the mother be the one to hold her baby before ILs/her parents/sisters/brothers/aunts/uncles/etc/etc/etc. But then when they whisked DS away to dress him, I panicked on the table thinking someone else would hold him before me (besides DH I suppose) - I knew they were taking him to clean him up and that our family would be allowed to watch and take pictures at that time and instantly regretted letting them take him away from me. I was pretty sick worrying about it until he was in my arms and DH assured me that the nurses made it very clear nobody would be allowed to hold the baby until I had a chance first.
My heart hurts for you that others got to hold your baby before you had a chance - so sorry to hear that and I hope that things aren't that way for you the next time around.
DH brought DS over to me immediately after he was wrapped in a blanket and laid him on my chest while the anesthesiologist took pictures. After a few minutes, DH went with him to the nursery to get cleaned up/dressed and, 15 minutes later, he was in my arms in the recovery area. If I had asked, he would have been kept with me at all times but I wanted to hold him the second I was finished getting stitched up so I let them take him to get dressed so that he'd be done by the time I was.
I'm sorry your first c/s wasn't the best experience for you and I'm glad you are being proactive about holding your 2nd child immediately. Definitely discuss your concerns with your doctor and call your hospital directly to ask about their policy.