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Attachment Parenting
JMU_Bride09
member
Please Give Advice re: Sleep Training and Stubborn LO
JMU_Bride09
member
I posted this on 6-9 and 9-12, but I'm hoping you ladies can help me out as well. I've never posted here before, but I like a lot of things about attachment parenting and hope that you can give me a fresh perspective.
My son has become a terrible sleeper. At two months, you could set him down in his crib drowsy, and he'd put himself to sleep and sleep for as long as 11 straight hours. Now, at almost 9 months, I'm happy if he'll sleep for three hours at a time, and he has to be fast asleep when I put him in his crib (and he'll often wake up the moment he leaves my arms). He's also gotten to the point where he won't go to sleep unless he's nursing; he won't tolerate being rocked to sleep anymore or even being held while we both fall asleep.
He just cut his first two teeth, so I know it's not teething. And he's definitely going through seperation anxiety (both day and night). But he's constantly tired and has rings under his eyes. He needs better sleep. (He'll only take two 30 minute naps during the day). I don't mind nursing him to sleep or cuddling with him in the night...I actually enjoy both and would love to continue if possible. I just want him to STTN and not have him be so exhausted.
I am not a fan of CIO and would like to avoid it as much as possible. I've tried some "no-cry" methods, but DS realizes that I'm trying to get him to sleep and cries anyway. He's incredibly stubborn. I think I'm going to have to CIO, though I'm not sure if I can do that and still nurse him to sleep and sometimes bring him to cuddle with me? If anyone has any advice for me, I would really appreciate it. I don't have the time to read any of the sleep training books, so I rely heavily on advice from doctors/friends/family/bumpies. Thanks!
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Re: Please Give Advice re: Sleep Training and Stubborn LO
That's a tough one. My LO was a great sleeper until 4 months when she started really moving around. Then her sleep went to crap. Milestones were big for her - she would try to practice rolling, crawling, and finally walking in her sleep. When she wasn't doing that it seemed like teething would keep her up.
We never did sleep training - I don't think it would have worked for us because she escalates when she cries.
My LO also hated naps. We dropped it down to one nap at about 11 months because she would fight them so much. That helped a lot because she was tired for the first nap and then tired for bed. She is still on one nap a day, and it ranges from 45 minutes to up to 2 hours. When she was on 2 naps she would only take catnaps.
How long is he sleeping? does he go right back down after waking up or is he up for a while? the time right around 9 months was the toughest for us.
At 9 months old I would not necessarily worry about it (well, I didn't anyway). If it works for you that's OK. My DD would wake every 4 hours usually until about 13 months and then she regressed and was waking up every 2-3 hours. I figured it was teeth, milestones etc. but I would nurse her and she would be back out fairly quickly so it was hard to do much about it.plus we were traveling a lot as well. We went to Europe when she was 16 months and then she was waking up every 2 hours which was a bit tiring. My DH convinced me to CIO one night and after 30 minutes I had had enough. Plus I felt that on vacation sleep training was not the right time. Once we were back and over our jet lag I finally decided I needed to do something, especially since she wasn't really eating but just comfort nursing.
What worked for me was lying next ot her crib and singing the same bedtime song over and over and telling her "M it is nana time" several times. She would cry but it didn't last more than a few minutes. After a few days she would go from 7-4 and I was fine with that. She would nurse at 4 and then sleep til 7 or 730. If she woke up before 4 I would tell her "it is nana time and she would actually go back to sleep. I did the same thing at bedtime also when she decided to not fall asleep nursing anymore around 15 months. She just went through a regression again for about 2-3 weeks probably because she was cutting molars (her bottom ones one at a time) and then we traveled. Once we got back this weekend I did one night of lying next to her crib and singing. It took about an hour of crying off and on (she would quiet down then start again) and finally she fell asleep. Knock on wood but since that night she is sleeping til about 4-5 again.
I never read any of the books and just did what felt right to me. I did not feel right just leaving the room and leaving her to cry (and escalate) by herself. I never picked her up but she knew I was there and the crying usually did not last very long.
CIO certainly works for some people I just was not willing to do it (I know she cried some but not much). I know that @ 9 months I was not ready for any type of sleep training even though she "should be sleeping through the night and should not need to eat". It worked for me and that was really all that mattered. Plus her weight gain really slowed down (as in dropped percentiles from 50 to 5) so I didn't feel bad about feeding her at night still.
I am still nursing to sleep although unless she is really tired she won't actually fall asleep. Now she is back to fussing for a few minutes after I put her in the crib and then crashing (yesterday she hollered "no nana (no night night) " a couple of times and then she was out) .
Not sure if that helped much. I guess I am mainly saying do what feels right to you and don't sleep train because everyone else feels you should.
My DD napped in her swing until 15 months and one day decided she no longer wanted to sleep in there and switched to the crib. She was never a great napper and would take 2-3 short (as in 30 minutes) naps. Now that she is down to one nap (since 15 months) she sleeps 1-1.5 hours. I still nurse her to sleep for naps as well.
Good luck with whatever you decide!