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Public School or Special Needs School? What is Best?

JENVALENTINE1981JENVALENTINE1981
in Special Needs

Our 12 year old son has Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning form of Autism) and ADHD so we have dealt with a long road of behavioral issues over the years.  In the past three to four months his already challenging behavior has taken a drastic nose-dive.  He has problems with impulse, inattentiveness, swearing/innappropriate language, stealing, lying, declining grades, you name it we are experiencing it...so today things hit its peak, the principal called and told us he was shouting obscene language down the hallways and was acting out so we had to pick him up early from school.  This is his first year of jr. high and he has already had two detentions due to receiving multiple demerits and now has been asked to leave school for the day because they can't handle him.  

 Believe me when I say we have seen our share of doctors and therapists to the point I feel like we are running out of options.  He is currently on Concerta, Zoloft, Focalin and Risperidal for his two conditions with no real positive results at this point.  We have tried every form of punishment with no success, we have even tried a reward system.  I have researched till I can't see straight and at this point my DH and I just feel like we have failed and don't know where to go from here.  We feel like we have turned to anyone we can find desperate for answers and help and nobody really knows how to handle him at this point.   There are multiple stress factors in our household right now including that I am due with our fourth child in less than two weeks, my husband is starting a new job and my son has hit puberty so his hormones are a major factor in all of this too.  

My question is this: our city has a school for Autistic children and I don't know if we have maybe come to the point that the public school just cannot give him what he needs, yet I don't want him to be isolated to only experiences with other Autistic children.  I don't know if I would be doing him a disservice by taking him out of the school.  He to some degree has to learn how to function around typical children and situations but the Autistic school could give him much more tailored education with much more sensory exercises than he can get where he is now, he does have an IEP but it only covers so much.  What would you do? 

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Re: Public School or Special Needs School? What is Best?

  • kel716kel716 member

    Have you actually checked out the school?  Is it possible for him to go there for a few years and go back to the public school? 

    It sounds like a change is needed, so maybe it's an option worth looking into. 

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  • JHart264JHart264

    I agree with the PP.

     There are many successful schools designed for children with aspergers and autism that make a huge difference for those children learning coping mechanisms that many sped teachers aren't aware of.  I would look into the school and find out more about what other parents think, and what their programs are compared to what your school is currently doing.  One thing many sped classes overlook is teaching sexual education, which is so essential and might help your son understand better what is happening to him right now. 

     Chiefly though, you are not a bad parent!  Best of luck to you!

    "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps it's brain." ~ J.K. Rowling
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  • torrey111torrey111
    imageJENVALENTINE1981:

    Our 12 year old son has Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning form of Autism) and ADHD so we have dealt with a long road of behavioral issues over the years.  In the past three to four months his already challenging behavior has taken a drastic nose-dive.  He has problems with impulse, inattentiveness, swearing/innappropriate language, stealing, lying, declining grades, you name it we are experiencing it...so today things hit its peak, the principal called and told us he was shouting obscene language down the hallways and was acting out so we had to pick him up early from school.  This is his first year of jr. high and he has already had two detentions due to receiving multiple demerits and now has been asked to leave school for the day because they can't handle him.

     

    Oh man, I am sorry.  I can only imagine how hard that phone call is. 

     Believe me when I say we have seen our share of doctors and therapists to the point I feel like we are running out of options.  He is currently on Concerta, Zoloft, Focalin and Risperidal for his two conditions with no real positive results at this point.

    How long has he been on this particular mix?  

     We have tried every form of punishment with no success, we have even tried a reward system.  I have researched till I can't see straight and at this point my DH and I just feel like we have failed and don't know where to go from here.  We feel like we have turned to anyone we can find desperate for answers and help and nobody really knows how to handle him at this point.   There are multiple stress factors in our household right now including that I am due with our fourth child in less than two weeks, my husband is starting a new job and my son has hit puberty so his hormones are a major factor in all of this too.  

    I can imagine that it is VERY stressful for you- try to remember to just breath....breath.....breath....through each moment.... 

    My question is this: our city has a school for Autistic children and I don't know if we have maybe come to the point that the public school just cannot give him what he needs, yet I don't want him to be isolated to only experiences with other Autistic children.  I don't know if I would be doing him a disservice by taking him out of the school.  He to some degree has to learn how to function around typical children and situations but the Autistic school could give him much more tailored education with much more sensory exercises than he can get where he is now, he does have an IEP but it only covers so much.  What would you do? 

    I completely understand your dilemma.  I guess I might feel that at this point, the cons are outweighing the pros at the public school.

    And on a side note, can I ask, mom to mom, how exactly did you deal with your son when you picked him up at school?  Were you angry with him?  Did you try to be understanding as not to make the situation anymore negative?  Just curious...We don't have any behavioral issues with our DS thus far, but the constant bad grades and notes about incomplete/missing/messy/lazy (they don't use that word but I think they want to) work gets so disappointing and it's hard for me not to respond to it. 

    e

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  • hopankahopanka member

    What would I do?

    I would figure out why his present school cannot handle his behaviors. I would meet with the IEP team and figure out a plan of action in instances like the day you described. Calling you to pick him up is not an option, though.

    I would visit the autistic program and see the student mix there. You don't want the student mix be inappropriate for your son. Meet with the teacher and director and find out about their program and what it's in place to bridge students back into mainstream.

    I would get an appointment with your child's psychiatrist and discuss the meds he's on. I'm no expert, but that's a lot of meds that he is taking. His behavior could be side effects to the drugs.

    Good luck - you're in a tough spot.

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