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January 2012 Moms
Sascha3
member
I still can't make up my mind about going back to work!!
Sascha3
member
I am torturing myself with this decision.
We can afford for me not to have to work, but it will be a lifestyle change as my job pays quite well. But I feel if I go back I am choosing money over quality time with the baby, when I don't NEED to work.
Also, my husband just got a promotion a month ago from his current employer who he has been with for 7 years, after being recruited from 3 different employers. After his promotion, he got recruited from another place and decided to accept that job and is leaving his current job. This means we will have to either use his or my COBRA while waiting for his insurance to kick in, which is pricey, or I could go back to keep my insurance for 90 days until he gets his.
Pros of going back: Love my coworkers and boss, great money
Cons: Will be gone 50+ hours a week, don't allow part time, hours vary from 9am-6 some days and 3pm to midnight other days...making consistency very difficult and finding a babysitter very difficult. I don't "love" my job....I just love the people I work with and feeling independent and making my own money.
My other choice would be to just find another job working part time so I can still feel independent. Or maybe taking 6-9 months off to see how I like being a stay at home mom before going back to work.
I am agonizing over this decision and I am running out of time. I need to tell them soon if I am not going back...I only have a few weeks left.
P.S. I am a salesperson, so it is not a special position that they need time to replace...they hired an extra person before I left, so the sales team is the same number that it was for most of last year anyways.
What would you do if you had the choice?
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I still can't make up my mind about going back to work!!
I hope you come to a decision but, I wish I had your options. I would definitely stay home with my DD. I'm going to be a mess when it's time for me to go back :-(
Good Luck
Make a pregnancy ticker
I thought it was going to be really hard to go back to work and that I'd be a wreck. I really wished I could be a SAHM, but we cannot afford that. Well, I just went back and it is amazing. Sure, I'll have times where I'll miss her, but it's actually good to get out of the house and be independent. I'm definitely one of those women who needs to work.
If I were you, however, I wouldn't want to work a job where I had to work 50+ hours a week. Working that much occasionally, sure. But all the time? If you do not really need the money, I would go back for the insurance until your H's kicks in and then find a part-time job. If you realize after awhile you feel you would like fulltime, then you can change your mind then. And if you're scheduling really switches around like that, it will be really hard for you to develop a routine with LO when you're on the opposite shift and like you said, really hard to find a babysitter.
Yeah I am thinking the part time may be the best option.
I was a single mom with my first and did not have the luxury of an option, so I absolutely know how that feels. It was a struggle. That is why I feel I should absolutely want to stay home, and I am surprised that I am struggling with the decision.
Like I said, I don't love the job, just the people. But full time is just too demanding with the rotating hours. I guess what I am feeling is guilt. Guilt that I will be spending money that I am not personally earning. Since I didn't get married until I was 36, it feels just wrong to be supported by another person. Even though I always thought that would be so wonderful and thought I would jump at the chance.
I love the financial freedom we have as a working couple and I know our lifestyle will change on one income, but I know deep down the sacrifice will be worth it. My husband is supportive of whatever decision I make and I think that is part of the problem. I keep thinking he wants me to work. I wish he would just tell me to stay home, lol.
I also have to make sure I maintain a social outlet. I love being around other adults, and used to go out almost every night of the week at points in my life. Yet I have a tendency to become reclusive and withdraw from people I don't see on a regular basis. So I would have to make an effort to maintain friendships and not become a loner.
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
*Steps on soapbox*
You don't have to turn in your I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar card if you choose to stay home with your baby. I've chosen to stay at home and I still consider myself an ardent feminist. To me, being a feminist is about supporting a woman's ability to choose what she wants to do with her life, whatever that choice may be.
*Steps off soapbox*
Now, to the OP- I've chosen to stay at home. I had a fabulously fun job with some of the best co-workers around. We laughed pretty much all day. However, I decided that for me, staying at home with my daughter would be best. While I certainly don't regret it, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the autonomy that comes with having a job, my own paycheck, and something that is completely mine. I've had days where I've been jealous of my husband for being able to go to work. I've also had days where I feel so sorry that he's missing out on having this much time with our daughter.
This won't be much help, but I think you should do whatever you think will make you happiest. If you choose to work outside your home, don't feel guilty for a second. If you choose to stay home, likewise. I STRONGLY believe that happy moms have the happiest kids.
I can sympathize. I don't really "need" to work so I think it makes going back that much harder. My son's college is already paid for, and my paycheck pretty much just goes to savings. But, I still think I'll go back. I like being independent and I worry that if I'm a SAHM my husband will just think I'm his live in maid/cook and I am NOT okay with that role. Also, once LO is in school I wouldn't want to stay at home and it's hard to go back. It's going to be really emotionally tough for the first few months though. We don't have a daycare lined up yet because we are on a waiting list. If he doesn't get in to the place I want to send him I don't know what we're going to do. I wish I could stay home until he's at least 6 months old and then go back, but unfortunately the world isn't going to stop for me.
I took a year off work a few years ago to finish school, and left a really good job that I loved. I thought I could just jump back in since I had great experience (and then a degree), but it was really difficult. I had to basically start my career over with an entry level job that I hated and felt degrading for all of my experience. Luckily I've worked my way back up (different company) in a really short amount of time, but it was painful to get here. So I am hesitant to leave again knowing I have a pretty good gig and once you leave, you can never really go back to where you were.
I just think that I should work and save up money while I can. LO isn't going to remember anything for a couple of years.I might try to find a different job with a more flexible schedule that's closer to home so I can spend more time with him and have him in daycare less hours. Also, I think if we have a 2nd child I might decide to stay home at that point. But for now, it's looking like I go back on April 10th.
Being at home with DD the past 4 weeks has been 100x harder than any job I ever had. And infinitely more important!