Can I get your opinion?

TinaL99 · February 2012

I just found out that one of my best, good friends in pregnant, yay! She's due Sept. 5th, 2 days before Audrey's 1st birthday. I texted her last week to offer her my pump if she was going to breastfeed since I'll be done with it by then (double yay!!). She said that she has no intention of BFing. Ok, fine, BFing definitely not for everyone.

But I find myself judging because I feel like the only reason she doesn't want to BF is because she likes to drink. Not to the point of her having a drinking problem, but she just enjoys having a beer or wine whenever she feels like it. I don't care that she's not going to BF, it's completely up to her, but I feel pretty strongly that she should at least try to give her baby the colostrum b/c it's so full of good things. Do I even bring this up to her or just let it go?

**This is not meant to be a BF vs. FF debate. I cannot stress enough that I have no problems with woman FFing**

JenJar · February 2012

I say you let it go, unless she brings it up in conversation again and then you can casually say, 'yeah, hey...about that, just curious what made you decide to ff?'

benniferbaby · February 2012

I am super opnionated and judgy, so I would say something. That said, you know your friend best, so if you think she is unaware of the colostrum's benefit and wouldn't bite your head off for making a comment, go ahead. I'm sure she will get this news from her doctors so she may reconsider even if only for the colostrum benefit.

Anyway can't you drink and then "pump off" the potentially-affected milk? I am planning to simply not drink until done BF, so I hadn't thought much about it but I think I read that somewhere?

xKimx · February 2012

I would try to see if it comes up in conversation & if she gives a reason for not wanting to.

If it really is for drinking (which, flame away, I drink & BF. Obviously not to the point of inebriation & I time a glass of wine or a beer around when I am going to be nursing) maybe just suggest she nurse while she's in the hospital? There are tons of studies about the benefits of breastfeeding even for a day or two.

prncsstp · February 2012

I think if your friend is really as casual of a drinker as you suggest (a beer/wine here or there), then your friend really isnt educated on drinking and BFing.

The basic, widely accepted rule of thumb is "if you can drive, you can nurse".

So if she wants a glass of wine with dinner, that shouldnt be an issue if shes BFIng.

Now, if she wants 3 glasses of wine with dinner, then she prob needs to pump and dump.

I am a pretty frequent casual drinker - I work for a beer company. That said, I monitor my drinking... I dont have a drink if I know I need to nurse/pump within the hour... If I am having a drink, I will usually have it right after nursing/pumping, and I try to limit it to 1.

She shouldnt be getting drunk anyways, with an infant around (assuming her and the babys father are drinking) - what if there as an emergency and they had to leave the house/go to the hospital/etc.

Irisheyes1247 · February 2012

I dont think she should have to defend herself. If she was breadtfeeding, you'd never be tempted to ask her, "so what made you decide to breastfeed?" so it shouldn't be any other way with the formula choice. Breastfeeding is a huge commitment and it might be something she is not comfortable with. And you make a lot of lifestyle changes and sacrifices as a parent, so if her evening glass of wine is something she isn't willing to compromise on, well I guess that is for her to decide.

jnk062602 · February 2012

I wouldn't bring it up again bc of this:

TinaL99:
She said that she has no intention of BFing.

If it happens to come up again from her, I would ask why depending on my relationship with her. Bc you don't know it's the alcohol. What if the reason is something different like she is on meds that you can't bf with, or she was sexually assaulted in the past (some of those women will EP, but choose not to bf). If she says alcohol, then obviously let her know she can still bf, but I would still be careful to not sound pushy.

TinaL99 · February 2012

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your views on this!

mrsoc · February 2012

I think that everyone has their reasons for choosing, even from the get go. You never know what someone's deeply personal reason could be for not feeling like trying, even from the beginning. I say, you threw it out there, she stated what she was going to do and just let it be at that. There is enough pressure out there with the BF, that she probably just wants her closest friends to support whichever she chooses.

sunnygirl05 · February 2012

While I totally agree with how you feel about breastfeeding, I don't feel you should say anything to her.....unless of course she brings it up and asks for your opinion

)

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