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Two Under 2
etude de la vie
member
playing with her brother but kicking, hitting, and more
etude de la vie
member
in Two Under 2
DD and DS are starting to play "together." DS will roll around the floor laughing and DD is laughing but then she lays down and starts to kick him, try to lay ontop of him, slap him in the face, give him hugs but grab around the neck.
All throughout I am hovering, pulling DD away and telling her to be gentle, don't kick....and so on but she only starts to laugh harder and run for him.
It always ends up with both of them crying. DS gets upset or hurt and DD gets upset that she isn't allowed to play with him.
What am I doing wrong or any ideas on what to do?
TIA
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Re: playing with her brother but kicking, hitting, and more
You are not doing anything wrong. Just praise her a ton for good behavior, try to notice when she is being gentle. For real transgressions, we started giving DS time outs.
I think it's totally normal when both kids get mobile and start interacting more. DS wasn't old enough to understand his strength at times, and he wanted to assert himself to DD, now that she tries to take his toys and use his things. It was like I could see the wheels turning in his head, like "let's see what happens if I knock her over".
Thankfully, we are on the other side of it for the moment, so hang in there. DS has really, really toned down his level of pushing DD. Now that he is older, he wants her to play with him, and she won't if he is being mean, ha ha.
I agree with the PP. Give lots of praise for good behavior and do some sort of consequence (like a time out) for being too rough.
Something that worked really really well for me when DS went through a hitting stage was to go to the baby when he hit. I would grab the baby, shower her with attention and say I was sorry her brother hurt her. I'd remove myself/the baby from the room and leave DS all alone. I would offer the baby lots of attention and DS would get ignored. When DS started catching on that hitting=being ignored he stopped pretty quickly.
It sounds like she's not trying to hurt him but she's getting overly excited and finding it difficult to stop, even if you firmly tell her "no". When DD1 gets over zealous and will not respond to me telling her to be gentle, I change the activity and room. I'll get her interested in something else to get her to calm down a little and forget about the fun "rough housing".
So if she's getting over zealous (rough) with your DS then I would try to redirect both kids into coloring, reading a book, go for a ride in the laundry basket, go on a walk outside, etc. Anything to get her to forget about the fun she was having beating up on your DS.