Special Needs

I feel like I need a sign that says I know my son is behind

I understand the importance of identifying developmental delays, but honestly I feel like all I do lately  is check boxes of things my son can't do.  Mostly it's from people that should know better like the pedi, therapy, or the inclusion preschool.  We all know my son has autism, so must I read what normal 2 year olds are doing and check yet again that my son doesn't do these things..  Sorry just needed to vent.  It seems like every time I get excited for how much progress Adam is making someone shoves a checklist at me showing me how far behind we are. 

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Re: I feel like I need a sign that says I know my son is behind

  • I understand your vent completely!!!  My DS has made so much progress lately but it seems to be overshadowed by the fact he's still not where he should be.  Fo me, it doesn't help that he has cousin 2 weeks older than him who is carrying on conversations.

     I don't post a lot recently, but what really helped me over the summer was posting in the Brag Day Wednesday posts.  It really helped me see that I can be proud of him to other people, even if he is still behind.  Plus, every week it would make me think positively about his progress instead of how far we need to go.

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  • that's every well visit.  DS has been special needs since birth.  So since the first visit (and with all the specialists) I've had to give the once over of what he doesn't do.

    I asked the pedi to put a note in his file that he's in early intervention and been diagnosed with a developmental delay and to skip the questionnaire.   It didn't work, the nurse just ignores it and asks them anyway.

    It's hard because we live in the day to day of appreciating what our children CAN do.  It took a long time for me to be able to jump back and forth of what DS CAN do versus what he CAN'T do without getting stuck in the rut of grief.   

    To my boys:  I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew
  • I'm already getting moody about Morgan's well visit coming up on the 23rd.  The nurse is new and she just can't seem to remember who we are and what the girls health problems are even though she's been there since December and it's a small practice.

    The fact that i've already been thinking about her 'flunking' her 12 month milestone sheet just shows how much anxiety this causes!

    Sorry & Hugs. 

    DD1(4):VSD & PFO (Closed!), Prenatal stroke, Mild CP, Delayed pyloric opening/reflux, Brachycephaly & Plagiocephaly, Sacral lipoma, Tethered spinal cord, Compound heterozygous MTHFR, Neurogenic bladder, Urinary retention & dyssynergia, incomplete emptying, enlarged Bladder with Poor Muscle Tone, EDS-Type 3. Mito-Disorder has been mentioned

    DD2(2.5): Late term premie due to PTL, low fluid & IUGR, Reflux, delayed visual maturation, compound heteroygous MTHFR, PFAPA, Bilateral kidney reflux, Transient hypogammaglobulinemia, EDS-Type 3


  • I hear you and it sucks.  But you know what?  Screw that.  You CANNOT let that effect how lovely you know he is.  Only you know the awesome parts about him that make him, him, and he is wonderful, and lovable and has a lot of potential because he has a mom who loves him no matter what! 

  • I know exactly what you're saying. We took D for his 2.5 yo check up at the pedi and I felt the same way. We know how amazing our babies are and while it's hard, we can't let the fact that they don't fit into a "normal" box get to us. ((hugs))
    Derek 6.30.09 & Parker 4.1.11
    Family
  • We just had our 2 year checkup and I felt the same way. So I just wrote AUTISM at the top and left the rest blank.

     

    No one even read the stupid thing. 

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  • Thanks for letting me vent.  I am adding send an email explaining how insensitive this is to my pedi and preschool to my list of things i am going to do once I have time to save the world.  My listings getting pretty long.
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  • So sorry!  :(  I have been feeling that way too.  My DS has been going to a lot of new doctors and I keep filling out the same paperwork that emphasizes his deficits, it is the most frustrating thing ever!  I just have to remind myself that at least I am making the effort and getting him the care he needs, even though the process makes me want to pull my hair out!

    You are an awesome mom, and it is unfortunate that the medical system doesn't modify their paperwork nonsense for our wonderful and special kids! 

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