Would you ever...

EmSue412 · February 2012

... be a surrogate? Forgive me if this has been discussed before, but I thought this was an interesting topic for conversation.

This morning I was watching an episode of "A Baby Story" and they featured a gay couple who already had one daughter and were expecting another through a surrogate. The surrogate was the sister of one of the men. What I thought was really amazing was that they used "at-home insemination" using the partner's sperm (not the brother) and inseminated the sister (using her own egg). I just found it amazing that the sister was so giving of herself, literally, to give her brother and his partner such a gift. She said when the time is right, they will explain to their daughters that she is their mother and their aunt. Talk about confusing, lol. In all seriousness, though, I just kept thinking, wow, this is truly something that not everyone can do. She is a very special person. Which brings me to my questions...

If you were able, would you ever consider being a surrogate? And, would you be a surrogate for your gay sibling using your own egg?

EmSue412 · February 2012

If you were able, would you ever consider being a surrogate?

As much as I would love to say yes, I would be a surrogate, when it comes down to it, I doubt I would truly be able to. I enjoyed being pregnant and was very healthy, but I just think I would get too attached to the baby growing inside of me. So much of loving pregnancy was the bond that was growing between me and my LO. I think it would be too emotionally difficult for me to be a surrogate.

And, would you be a surrogate for your gay sibling using your own egg?

Even if I had said yes to being a surrogate, I definitely could not use my own egg. I think I would absolutely get attached to the baby, especially knowing he/she was a part of me. Even if it was a family member and I knew I would be a part of that child's life, it would still be too difficult for me.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · February 2012

That's a toughie. While I love the idea of giving the gift of parenthood, I think I would get too emotionally attached to the baby - regardless of whether it was my egg or not (although I think it would be even worse if it was my egg).

StefandTodd · February 2012

I don't think I could. I WISH I could. I loved being pregnant, even loved giving birth. But part of what I loved about all of it was that it was all so that I could nurture and mother my most favorite super loved and special little one. I would think the postpartum period would be literally so depressing and debilitating that it would take away from my own self and family far too much.

But I think it's so amazing, and I wish I could say that I could.

BnchaNums · February 2012

For my sister, yes. With her egg or mine. For anyone else, no.

MissLMS · February 2012

I would be a surrogate in a heartbeat for a sibling or a close friend, but only if it was their egg and not my own.

Jennairess · February 2012

I couldnt do it, I just think of my past pregnancies and how much I bonded with LO...I cant imagine how I would be to have to give that baby up and how much I would want to butt in the parenting skills if I knew who was raising the child

snoopy3319 · February 2012

It would honestly have to be someone very close to me, and I think I'd need them to come to me, not for me to offer. I don't know why, but that would mean they wanted it more to me I think. I also could only use their egg, not mine. I feel like it would be too much like my own baby. I remember seeing the joy in DH's eyes every time he saw me pregnant and when he got to hold DS. I would love to see that joy in a close friend/family member's face. It's the best gift you can give. And holy favorite auntie rights!

Misty001 · February 2012

My husband and I talked about this because one of our friends is not able to have children. I ended up saying no. For me I would get to attached and my dh said he wouldn't be able to get over someone else's child inside me. They are trying other methods and hopefully they will see results. It takes an amazing person to be able to do that and I have much respect for their kindness.