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brideonjuly8
member
would this hurt your feelings?
brideonjuly8
member
My best friend (sine elementary school) and I have been talking for years about taking a couples trip together. I bring it up almost every year, and every year I'm always shot down because they don't have any money (and I know they don't). She's constantly telling me they're behind on their mortgage, barely made their electric bill, tons of debt, unexpected car repairs, etc. I get it. We've got debt too, but my mom has a time share we can use for wherever, whenever we want. In 2010 when we went to Vegas, I BEGGED her to go, and she'd only have to pay for their flight and food (and any spending money) because we could use our timeshare. SW has cheap flights to Vegas all the time, but she said they couldn't even swing that. Okay, it's fine, I understand.
We didn't talk about it last year, me being pregnant, then miscarrying and all that crap, but I didn't figure her answer would have changed.
This morning I see her FB status is "just booked a DREAM vaca to VEGAS with Summer....Only 87 days to go!" or something. So, she just booked a vaca to Vegas with this girl who she's only known for a few months (if even that) and their husbands. Andplusalso? She was just telling me a few weeks ago how inappropriate this girls husband is towards her- calling just to "talk", stopping by when she's home alone with coffee for her, because he saw on FB she wanted some, etc. ???? She also told me last week that they were behind on their mortgage again. I don't think she got help from family for this trip, I could be wrong, but they aren't swimming in extra cash either.
Would this hurt your feelings? I could be totally hormonal and I know I'm easily upset these days, but really? I love her dearly, and we still talk almost 4-5 times a week, and she's never mentioned thinking of taking a trip anytime soon.
I've just been asking for so long, hoping maybe one of these years it will work out and the four of us can go away together. 
You can tell me I'm being a baby.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: would this hurt your feelings?
Yes. I'd be hurt.
I was all set to say no if it were just her and her DH taking a trip. We were asked by good friends to take a cruise together and declined, because if we're going to take time away from the kids, right now, we need the couple time more than the friend time. But to go with another couple when you've repeatedly invited her on a vacation is definitely hurtful.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Yes, this would most definitely hurt my feelings. Maybe (hopefully) the other friend is paying for their trip. I can't imagine taking a vacation if I was behind on my mortgage.
I think you are validated in your feelings, I'm sorry that she hurt you. :-(
this! my feelings would definitely be hurt!
Ditto this. I find it hard not to judge other's financial situations because one never knows the whole story, but in this case, that would make me sad.
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Stick, little one, stick! EDD October 15, 2012
Me, too. I thought she had booked a trip w/ just her husband. In that case, it's completely understandable (to want alone time w/ your DH). But, yeah, booking w/ a different friend would definitely upset me.
Yes, I think that's a hurtful situation and I don't think you're being a baby.
Do you get along with her DH? Do you know if her DH has any issues with your DH? It's hard to speculate as to why she'd jump on this opportunity, especially when she admits that they are struggling with their finances but it is definitely a sucky situation and it would hurt my feelings for sure.
(((HUGS)))
Hope you get to take your own super fab vaca soon.
As far as I knew we all got along great, and our DHs get along really well, though they don't know each other as well and BF and I do.
Yes. It would definitely hurt my feelings.
On the other hand, there's something about this that raises a big ol' red flag. Particularly the part where she's willingly traveling with a man (and his wife) whose attention to her is kind of questionable. What I mean to say is, I don't think that her decision reflects in any way on your friendship or your company. I don't think she's making the best of judgement calls. Still, if I were you my feelings would be hurt too.
Yep, for sure.
Like some others, I was about to say it would NOT hurt my feelings if she was going only with her DH or their family, but with another couple, definitely
Also, FWIW, that is bizarre that this friend's H would bring her coffee as you described. That is super, super odd.
I'm sorry
Are you going to say something?
I would be hurt and I would call her on it. Especially since you have been friends for that long. There has to be more to that story.
I hate to say this, but do you think there may be something going on between her and the other guy? She doesn't want to admit it so she covers it as "awkward situations"...
ETA: And if the other couple is paying for them and there isn't something going on with her and the guy, maybe she needs a wake up call about his possible intentions.
Yep, I think it's odd too.
Actually, before I could stop myself I posted "Umm...WTH?" on her post. She didn't say anything back, so I kinda think she already knows I'm hurt. AND the fact that she hasn't said anything about my comment makes me even more sad. And frankly kinda mad.
I honestly don't think there is anything going on, but I can totally see her wanting to go with them because of that...she's kind of an AW.
And I don't think the other couple is paying, the Hs work together and make about the same amount (same position) and I don't think the other couple could afford to do that. But it's all speculation until she tells me what's going on. I'm not going to ask.
You are nicer than me... I am not sure I would have been able to JUST put that!!
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Our Rainbow Baby is on the Way!
I don't know the dynamics of their family, but maybe it was more of the husband's decision to go than your friends. It might have seems more worth it to him to go with one of his friends.