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Austin Babies
nursing to sleep and night wakings
How did you (gently) wean from nursing to sleep? It breaks my heart to ask this because I love nursing him to sleep, but it has gotten to where I have to nurse him to sleep almost every time he wakes up. I know that he is not hungry at 1:30 if I just nursed him at 11 but he won't go back down without the boob. He used to sleep from 7-2 easy, then 4MW hit two months ago and now he wakes around 11, 1-2 and again at 4-5. We never get more than 3 ? hours at a time out of him anymore.
I know that he needs to learn to self soothe, but not sure how to do that without CIO. DH and I are very against CIO for DS. I just started crying at my desk reading posts on the 6-9 board about how ?LO barely cried at all, only 20 minutes!? And I actually had decent sleep this weekend so I know my tears aren?t due to that. To me, 20 minutes is a very long time and that just sounds awful. I don?t want to cry for 20 minutes and I certainly don?t want my DS to cry for that long. He gets crazy hysterical after only a few minutes.
I have had pretty good success with removing the breast from his mouth when he is drowsy. Sometimes though, it?s like jaws of steel on my nipple and it?s impossible. It usually only takes once or twice to remove it without protest, and sometimes he will pop off himself. But he is almost always asleep by the time I put him in the crib. He LOVES nursing (he already pulls at my shirt) and before sleeping is when he nurses the longest (10-20 min). All other times he is on for 5-8 min max.
I don?t know what to do. If we could just get one good stretch of sleep from him, I know DH and I would be a lot happier. I?m sure DS would be a lot happier, too. As it is now, he goes to bed about 7 and we follow by 8:00 so there is no time to do anything after work and we have to catch up on house cleaning, returning phone calls, etc. on the weekends.
So really, I guess I have a few questions ? how did you wean from nursing to sleep? How did you wean from one of the night feedings, and where did you start ? first or last waking? We've tried having DH go in there but after an hour (and a bottle), I still have to nurse him. I?ve read No Cry Sleep Solution, some of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and am in the middle of Ferber. Any other suggestions?
Thanks, ladies.
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Re: nursing to sleep and night wakings
This was going to be my suggestion. Honestly, I think it's just going to take a couple of nights of not giving in. Basically in the above scenario, you're just reinforcing to your DS that if he holds out long enough, he gets the boob.
Will he take a paci? Maybe it's just the sucking that he needs?
Of course, you could always just keep nursing him. I hear you on the sleep--I was up every 3 hours last night, too. I'm still holding out hope that he'll stop waking on his own when he's not hungry anymore, but we're extra motivated to feed him whenever he wants b/c of his weight issues. He might just drop the feedings on his own. (there's always hoping, right?)
Thanks, Rssn. You're so right, I need to not give in. Well, DH needs to not give in! I think I might have him try putting DS to bed starting later in the week and see how that goes. Going down for the night is so easy (knock on wood!) and naps have even gotten better.
Now I am feeling bad thinking about this because he could actually be hungry. Maybe he's going through a growth spurt. I don't mind nursing him so much at night, but I am just worried that I'm hindering him somehow without the whole self soothing thing.
Thank you though, you made me feel better. My thought all along is that he might drop the feedings himself, like he did before. I think I need to just step away from the sleep posts! :-) Oh, the only paci he will take is me. We've tried just about every one on the market, and keep trying. He is not having it. I really think he has a strong oral fixation and needs to just suck a lot of the time.
Hope you get more rest tonight!
Are you doing this in the middle of night, or at the initial bedtime. If you mean in the middle of the night I'd try to do this at bedtime. Nurse with the light on and try to keep him up, then give him to DH to rock, turn off the light and leave the room. I always thought it was easier to do this stuff at bedtime when you're not thinking about exactly how many minutes you've been up than in the middle of the night. And I agree with rssn don't give in, it'll just make it worse.
This is great advice! Can you try keeping him up till 8? Is he Eatting baby food at dinner time? Maybe that will fill him up and he can sleep longer? Brooke never 'cried' it out she fussed it out and it took about two weeks. Try rubbing his back, his head, singing, just don't pick him up. Idk, I'm sorry your not sleeping. Babies are so hard
xoooox
Thanks for the advice. We are doing this (DH go in the room) after his first waking, which is sometimes as early as 9:30 these days. It works sometimes, like last night, but then he woke 45 minutes later and it did not work at all. He just cut one tooth and the other is coming through, so I didn't want to wait too long to comfort him with nursing. I'm too easy!
He is eating food in the morning and at night but that hasn't increased his sleeping time. It's hard to keep him up even until 7:00 when he doesn't nap all day. I don't know what's up, but the nanny is really having a hard time getting him to nap after his morning nap. So by 6:00 even, he is a mess. He's been going to sleep around 6:45, but if he takes normal naps, like on the weekends, he goes to bed about 7:30. If we don't pick him up when he cries (past the fussing stage), it escalates VERY quickly. But hey, at least he likes the carseat now! ;-)
We're actually starting to sleep OK, the arrangement just isn't ideal. What is with a baby, right?! I did notice the last couple of nights that he is stretching out his last sleep, from about 1:30 to 5-5:30. Small progress!
I doubt y'all will read this, but I wanted to respond anyway. Thanks so much for the advice! We'll definitely try nursing him in the light and having DH put him to bed.