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s/o candy and WWYD (long)
First, I LOVE A's school in almost every way, love it! I love the Kinder team, they are awesome at planning very hands on lessons and activities and are great about communication. However, the one thing I don't like is that often the hands-on lessons involve cookies, or junk food. I'm ok with my kids having it on occasion, but really try to limit the amount of processed sugar they get. At the beginning of the year I thought no biggie- it is only once a month or so that the "Fun Friday" activity includes some sort of sweet treat. But, then lately it seems like it is at least once a week, and often more, that A comes home telling me about a cookie or cupcakes or whatever she had at school. (when you add up the b-day cupcakes parents bring for 20 kids, that's a lot, and class parties, etc) Then last week the teachers sent home a note about the upcoming V-day party. They always do big activity days (hour) on the holidays (did the same thing for Thanksgiving and Christmas) instead of just a party where the kids are sitting around. I love this- they rotate through stations and do a bunch of activities one "activity" being refreshments. Well, for both the other parties and this one the "refreshment" is cookies and ONLY cookies. Nothing else, no other options, like fruits or veggies offered at all. This really bothers me. I just don't get why you would only offer kids the sugary junk and nothing healthy at all.
So, I wrote A's teacher last week and explained my concern in what I think was a very polite and reasonable email (rssn, help me out! 
) I made sure to let her how much I like the things they do and appreciate them. I just told her how concerned I am about the amount of these foods the kids are getting and asked if the team thought they could opt for healthier options. I then ran into her up at a school event last week and we briefly discussed. I told her my concerns but that I did not want A to have to not participate (eat the treats) if the whole class was. Well, A came home on Friday and told me the teacher (another K teacher) asked her "does your mom let you eat cookies" in front of the whole class. A then said "no" and didn't eat it. 
I was afraid of that happening. ugh! (btw- I totally let her eat cookies sometimes!) I then got an email from the teacher over the weekend telling me thinks for the concern but they were following the State of Texas rules and are allowed to have cookies at parties 3 times a year. I know this is true but that was not my point. Also, when I look over the info on what they are allowed I'm pretty sure the in class lessons that involve cookies and other of these types foods are not allowed.
So, now I'm not sure what to do. Do I just let it go? WWYD?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: s/o candy and WWYD (long)
I would feel the exact way you do. And then pointing A out specifically and not letting her have a cookie after you had the talk would upset me as well. I would ask for a meeting and I would express your concern. I would also come to the meeting prepared w/ the state guidelines (3x per year plus whatever else they state) and then the amount of other treats they've had. 20 bday parties, special Friday events, etc. Also - does the school promote anything about diet and nutrition? What about the state? I would bring that as well b/c I'm fairly sure it's not promoting cookies and cupcakes. Then I'd bring a list of fun alternatives. Fruit, yogurt, etc they could use for Friday fun treats instead of cookies.
I also know that cookies are likely cheaper too. So perhaps seeing if you could talk to HEB to donate some produce or something like that to help her out would be good too.
I would be very concerned about the amount of junk food as well. And considering my A starts K next year...I'm sure this is something we'll be dealing w/ too. :-/
Yeah, that part does bother me. It was another teacher, they were doing rotations through the Kinder classrooms. Since I did not have the conversation with her- not to exclude A- I'm not that upset about it. Annoyed a little, but thankfully A is not the kind of kid that gets embarrassed. I will be up at the school tomorrow so I mention to the teacher again that A is allowed to eat whatever they are having and that I don't want her singled out.
I'm just not sure if I should challenge them on the foods they are offering being allowed by the state. I don't want to be "that parent" but I'm pretty sure there not allowed. I was hoping by my voicing my concern the way I did it would allow them to rethink what they are giving to the kids. It looks like it didn't though.
This is what I was thinking. DH thinks I should only continue if I'm up for a battle. He doesn't think they are going to be receptive.
For the b-day parties- it is allowed as long as it is after 1pm. Not sure why 1pm, but parents are allowed to bring in cupcakes or whatever. I didn't have a problem with this at all when it was PreK, but now that there are 20 kids, that is a lot! I think they are following the rules set by the state except for the lessons they do with cookies and such. Yes, the school and state promote nutrition. The cafeteria is all whole grains and offer fruits and veggies with every meal. In PE they learn about "Go, Slow and Stop" foods. This is another reason it is so baffling to me that they would give these kids so much junk.
Its RRISD. I've looked through the state rules about "FMNV" (foods with minimal nutritional value). They are following the State rules when it comes to the parties. Its just the lessons with food (junk food anyway) I don't think are actually allowed.
Unfortunately, I think the "foods of minimal nutritional value" rule is fairly easy to circumvent. I know that it's different in elementary school so I can't speak to those specific rules, but I'm pretty sure that (in middle school at least) anything with chocolate was ok because it had milk. So we couldn't give the kids sweet tarts as a reward, but we could give them a hershey kiss. I think the other rule was that we couldn't give them anything before lunch? It's been a while and hopefully a current teacher will chime in.
How often are they eating candy? Is it used as part of the lesson or is it just parents bringing crap in for birthdays? I wonder if you could volunteer to bring in other options (you're the room mom, right?) I don't know what kind of lessons they're doing with it, but you could just as easily work on probability with mixed nuts as you could with m&ms. Of course, then you get into the nut issue... Maybe red, green and black grapes? I get that it's easier to buy a bag of m&ms then deal with getting fresh produce, but if you volunteered to do it maybe it would go over better?
As for the parties, are they asking each parent to bring in something? I think we did that for our holiday party, but some kids signed up for fruit, some for chips, some for cookies, and some for drinks (water and soda). I would consider suggesting that. Can you offer to coordinate the class party?
I realize that most of the suggestions are more work for you, but I would think (hope!) that most of the parents would be quite appreciative and hopefully volunteer to take over some of it.
+1
I'm surprised they still allow food for in school celebrations of birthdays. In my old district, they put an end to that over 8 years ago. You were allowed to bring a favor (pencil, bookmark, eraser, whatev), but no cupcakes, cookies, juice. Not only were the kids getting junk food (x25 a year), but it was also a waste of time during instructional time- which was how we approached it w/ parents.
What about approaching the gym teacher for ideas? Hopefully (s)he might be receptive and offer to be a go between?
Yep, the state still allows it, as long as it is after 1pm.
The PE teacher is a good idea.
I've also wanted to bring it up at a PTA meeting, but haven't had the guts.
I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble and I don't want to cause waves, which makes it really hard!
I think if you bring it up from a place of honest concern, no one can fault you.
yeah, that is what i thought too. But, after the Kinder teams response I'm not sure that is the case.
I would be pissed about singling her out like that, and I'd discuss it with the teacher but approach it in a neutral way that allows her to tell her side of the story instead of "hey, my kid says you did X."
As for the food, I know Meredith's class did something with goldfish crackers in a lesson, and they had all of the kids bring stuff in for the 100 days - the teacher specifically sent out an email saying that they had way too much sweet stuff already, so if you hadn't brought stuff in for your child yet to please send something like cheerios, pretzel sticks, raisins, etc.
For Valentine's they had ice cream sundaes, and the toppings included fresh fruit. I was surprised at the number of kids who just wanted plain ice cream and one of the little bottles of water. Some of the kids passed out Valentine's that had candy attached to them, and the kids were told they weren't allowed to open any treats at school. We're LISD, so IDK how differently they do things compared to RRISD.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
Maybe you could approach it from a "let me make your job easier" kind of way?
"Hey K team, I know we have a class party coming up. I'm sure you guys are super busy planning awesome lessons, so I would love to coordinate with the other room moms and plan it so you guys don't have to."
Or, "Hey K teacher, I love all of the cool hands on math lessons. I would love to help you by picking up the supplies for you." Then we she asks you to get m&ms, suggest colored gold fish instead.
52 Choices For Better Health
This is also one of the reasons (though not the biggest ones) that we moved J to a private school this year. We give our children sweets and other treats, but I wanted it to remain something I was in control of. At the public school, I had no control over it. 22 kids in a class = 22 weeks of cupcakes for birthdays. The 3 parties included parent sign up sheets for things such as a tub of red frosting and bags of candy. It wasn't until 1/2 way through the school year that I also found out that every morning, my son was eating snacks that other parents brought for the entire class. None of these were snacks I would give my child (um, marshmallows for a snack?) Then on the days that he begged to eat in the cafeteria with the other kids, he would make horrible food choices. A lot of people have the attitude of "a little won't kill him", but in our case, it was changing his behavior. He was having meltdowns, screaming fits, etc. All behavior that was not typical of him.
So I hear your pain. It all adds up, and it's not fair for the kids, especially considering, as you mentioned, their efforts to teach PE and the slow-go foods. Doesn't make any sense. I would just keep trying to be firm with the teacher.
Not to distract from the overall importance of food education, but didn't we all grow up with 20+ weeks of birthday cupcakes? Those were like the coolest days ever. I couldn't wait until my birthday week so I could bring some to school. And back in my day
they weren't even all Pinterest cool either. Just yellow or chocolate, usually with chocolate frosting. That's it. Not usually very pretty, sometimes store bought even. But sitting on the bus with a little box of cupcakes covered in plastic made me feel like princess for a day. One year my dad even drove me to school with them. Now that was a treat.
They don't let you bring cupcakes to the private school to celebrate the birthday?!
That makes me feel kind of sad for those kids just because it was such a big deal to me as a child. I know you said your LO has behavioral issues related to sugars, but you KWIM. And yes, I totally agree marshmallows are sooo not a snack!!! Our MDO program had to give out an "acceptable" list because people were bringing things like Skittles (in the 2s!). Although Nutrigrain bars are on the acceptable list and I think they are fruit flavored garbage.
I'm REALLY surprised this went on! That is against the State Board of Education's rules on food in the classrooms. Other parents are not allowed to supply kids with foods, except for b-days. I would definitely be putting down my foot if that was going on.
To the PP- I'm not trying to stop cupcakes from coming in on b-days. I get it is a big deal to the kids. However when you combine that with the class parties and the other times the teachers are using processed sugar foods- it adds up! Not a week hardly ever goes by that A is not having junk at school. And I do believe kids could be just as happy bringing in something else for their b-day. We did fruit cups (fresh fruit) that A helped make and we decorated cups. The kids at first were like- "you didn't bring cupcakes?" But every.single.one of them downed the fruit and loved it!
I'm REALLY surprised this went on! That is against the State Board of Education's rules on food in the classrooms. Other parents are not allowed to supply kids with foods, except for b-days. I would definitely be putting down my foot if that was going on.
To the PP- I'm not trying to stop cupcakes from coming in on b-days. I get it is a big deal to the kids. However when you combine that with the class parties and the other times the teachers are using processed sugar foods- it adds up! Not a week hardly ever goes by that A is not having junk at school. And I do believe kids could be just as happy bringing in something else for their b-day. We did fruit cups (fresh fruit) that A helped make and we decorated cups. The kids at first were like- "you didn't bring cupcakes?" But every.single.one of them downed the fruit and loved it!
I must admit I'm always surprised when you and carlinlp mention all the food used for classes. Are you quizzing A about food when she gets home? I only ask b/c Elena *never* tells me they ate food in class and I don't know if I'm just being ignorant or if our classes really aren't.
I do know there are sweets on birthdays and the 3 party days but haven't heard of any used as instructables. Of course, both of our teachers so far have been very healthy people themselves (Kinder teacher was a vegan) and both have sent notes home reminding parents re: what is acceptable to send with kids as an acceptable snack. (Kids are able to bring their own snacks for snacktime before lunch). And cupcakes just aren't allowed, although cookies are.
Glad to see above that you have open communication with your teacher.
6-yr-old Elena and 4-yr-old Julia.
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Honestly, this reply is beyond annoying. Didn't we all grow up without carseats too? I went to private school from K-6th grade, and nope, not a single birthday celebration at school that involved food. Birthday parties were, gasp, something that occurred outside of education. The birthday boy/girl got to wear a special ribbon on their shirt for that day. I suppose you can feel bad for me because I never rode the bus to school with cupcakes on my lap in a plastic container. I have never given a single thought to the matter.
At my son's private school that he attends, yes, some parents send cupcakes. But since there are only 10 kids in the class, every birthday is prefaced by an e-mail to all of the parents saying, "I plan on bringing X to Xs birthday on X day. Please let me know if anyone has food allergies or does not eat this type of food so that I can bring another item for your child." I appreciate that.
What I didn't appreciate about our experience in K, was the after the fact "Oh, I had 2 cupcakes today for Jim's birthday and Skittles while we were counting by 10s, and chips ahoy cookies for morning snack that Suzie brought." Those were after the fact situations that I couldn't control (and yes I did talk to his teacher many times about this and it didn't make a difference). He doesn't deal with food allergies, so I never pushed the issue. But eating items multiple times a week that we don't eat at home? That's ridiculous.
As Calinlp put it, "It's like red dye #40 is in the constitution or something." Why the irrational attitude of 'the child is missing out' because they don't get store bought cupcakes made with bleached flour, oils that are horrible for your body, and covered with sugar and lard and food coloring? As an educator with a PhD in pedagogy, I'm going to be upset if my child is not being exposed to proper learning techniques. But not being exposed to unhealthy food they 'have a right to have' on their birthday? Give me a break.
So yes, Taytee, your response is annoying, particularly the inserted eye roll. I know you deal with gluten intolerance (as do I, very severely), and your children are not in public school yet, so I can just say with a smug grin.....'just you wait.'
They send out emails asking the parents to donate the stuff.
I'm in camp annoyed by inappropriate food being served at school. Maybe I'm spoiled. Ben and Molly's preschool doesn't allow cupcakes, cookies, candy, etc. On birthday occasions, the most offensive food item brought in to celebrate with are those store bought mini muffins (obviously not a great food item, but you know.)
I've always brought in fruit for Ben's birthday. This year it was strawberries and pineapple kabobs. It's not like my kids don't eat cake, cookies, or candy. They do, but it's very much a treat.
I would be very upset if I didn't know this was going on at all. I'm also appalled by public school lunches and full anticipate sending lunch to school with my kids. Of course, I know that they won't always eat what I send, but I like knowing they have an alternative to the crap they're being served.
Further more, if kids are eating this kind of sugary food so often, why are teachers so surprised when their students have a hard time focusing and getting back on track? They're on a sugar high!
I totally understand using food in object lessons, especially math. Candies are small and come in a variety of colors. If they're eaten or lost, it's no big deal budget wise. BUT am I the only one who remembers elementary math class with things like counting bears, colored discs, colored beans, a la this:
Actually the state allows 3 parties a year- Winter break, V-day and End of school that FMNV are allowed and it is allowed to be brought in by parents. The state also allow parents to bring cupcakes or other FMNV for birthdays in as long as it is after lunch (after 1pm). *ETA- ok, now I'm not sure of what the state allows when it comes to b-day parties, that above was the info from the ISD. The state does not mention parents bringing in cupcakes and the like for b-days. hmmm...
I'm not sure how their getting away with the other foods that they use in the lessons, I guess no one has ever challenged them on it?
FMNV occurs 3 days per school year at the school's/district's discretion. Meaning, they get to choose which day it happens (ours is Halloween, day before spring break, and last day of school). On these days, all students are allowed to bring in food to share and teachers are allowed to bring in food/snacks for the kids. I believe the after 1 pm rule comes from something else stating that there should *not* be extra food being served to children that does not come from the cafeteria. Therefore, they could have cookies or cake for breakfast, if it comes from the cafeteria.
In our district, the rule is that we cannot give the kids any candy/treats after breakfast is served (8am) or until the end of school (4pm) on NON FMNV days. If we put the food into a lesson, I've seen math teachers do ratios with colored m&ms, then we are free to use food (within reason). Or if the children bring in food as part of a cultural lesson, I believe that is allowed any time of the day as well. They are not allowed to celebrate birthdays with food in the classroom OR in the cafeteria.
You're right, sorry. I was going back and forth between the state and ISD's website. The ISD mandates which dates the 3 parties are allowed and the state limits it to only 3.
What district are you in, if you don't mind? RRISD allows b-day parties to be celebrated as long as it is after lunch and not in the cafeteria.
This is what I found on the State website. Cupcakes are considered a FMNV, right? Maybe next year, I'll work on b-day parties at school. :P
This policy does not restrict what parents may provide for their own child?s lunch or snacks. Parents may provide FMNV or candy items for their own child?s consumption, but they may not provide restricted items to other children at school. A school may adopt a more restrictive rule, however, as local policy.