admitting defeat — The Bump
March 2011 Moms

admitting defeat

I guess I'm just going to have to use the CIO method. I tried it once when baby boy was about 6 months and not only did it not work, it made him wake up crying more often. I would let him cry for about 45 minutes at the longest and give up because I didnt like hearing him scream that long. So I would then put him to sleep with a bottle like usual and have to get up with him at least two more times in the night. 

I had never heard anything about sleep training when he was born so he's always been put to sleep with a bottle. So here it is, less than two months from his 1st bday and he is addicted to his bottle at bedtime. during the day the bottle isn't a big deal but come nap time and bedtime its always been a bottle to sleep.

So tonight since I am looking at a three day weekend, I tried to put him to sleep without the bottle and he has been screaming for half an hour now. I held him and rocked him and sang to him and nothing is calming the boy down.

 As much as I hate it it's time to start learning to go to sleep by himself. I know you are supposed to put them down awake, but when I do that I get the screaming mad baby treatment from him. So CIO is unavoidable, unless anyone knows of another way?

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Re: admitting defeat

  • I know I'm probably going to give you "bad" advise but maybe he's not ready to let his bottle go...I know my son is SO not ready and that's okay with me.  I'd say give him a little bit more time, take things slow.  I give my son his bottle before bedtime and I rock him (yes I still do it) for a little bit and while he's still awake I put him in his crib.  He normally stays there staring at his projector thing until he falls asleep.  There are days where he does cry but quickly lays back down and goes to sleep--within 10 minutes.  I think 45 minutes is too long to let him cry but that's just my opinion...coming from someone who still rocks her child to sleep LOL.  GL!  Hang in there I know its hard my son was doing the same thing!
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  • For CIO techniques, I suggest getting the Furber book prior to starting anything. When you put them down to sleep, they should be awake, yet tired. Putting a child down who is not at the end of their sleep cycle, will result in a lot of crying. 

    Also, remember that when doing anything new it takes a while to adjust. The first few times are the hardest and after that it gets easier.

    But I do suggest to start letting your LO get to sleep on his own. The longer you wait, generally, the harder it is. I know someone whose 1.5 year old still doesn't sleep on her own. She now says she wishes she would have sleep trained at 6 months. Of course, hindsight is 20/20. 

    Good luck! 

  • Well I've read the general gist of the Ferber Method and I've tried it and he just won't calm down once he's put down in his crib. If I put him in there and walk away he freaks out. So I'm just putting him in his crib and turning off the light. If I stay in the room or let him see me at all he just gets more upset. So I put him down and leave the room and peak at him every few minutes. It worked reasonably well last night, and now nap time is approaching. 

    And I am so guilty of rocking my kid to sleep with a bottle in his mouth. There have been very few instances that he went to sleep by himself. And while I love to hold him and cuddle with him, he can't put himself back to sleep during the night. So on bad nights I'm still up with him at least once. I'm so ready to be past this stuff.

     The first time I tried Ferber/CIO it was a total fail. He got so upset that he was inconsolable and it broke my heart. Since he was getting so upset, I was sure that he just wasn't ready to give up the bottle. But when he was throwing a fit last night, I was trying to get him to fall asleep in the rocker and his cries never got sad and desperate, they just stayed mad, I knew he was okay to just CIO. The way I see it, he's either going to fight me and fall asleep on me, or he can do the same thing and fall asleep in the crib.

    So last night was a success. After crying in his room for 20 minutes he went to sleep. Altogether he fought it for an hour. I'm calling it a win.

    Wish me luck and thank you for the advice! 

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  • You should actually read the Ferber book. There is sooooo much more than just the CIO in it. In fact we use the Ferber method but do not do CIO. There is a ton of information about sleep patterns and sleep associations.
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  • I don't post much on here anymore, but I wanted to say I am sorry this is so hard right now. Our DS needed some sleep training at 6 months too, and if we were in the room he would totally lose his mind. The thing that helped was knowing how tired/overtired he may be.

    I suggest beginning your sleep training with the first nap of the day, not before bed. That way he is more rested when you begin ST. Also, then he is having his first full feed of the day, so you know he isn't crying because he is hungry. DS would wake up at 7am, nurse, play and then at 9am he would get settled for his first nap. There was crying involved, but not for long. The checks didn't work for him, he would get way more upset. If he was crying uncontrollably for a long period of time, we would go in and actually remove him from the room, calm him down, and try again. 

     I hope naps/bedtime went okay yesterday for you!

  • I second the advise of reading the book.  It was very helpful and had a lot of useful information.  My DD was up 2-8 times a night and at 6-7 months we tried Ferber after trying 2 other sleep training methods.  We also took away the paci for sleeping at the same time because it was part of our problem.  She adjusted within days and it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  But you have to be committed and consistent for it to work and reading at least parts of the book is essential for making that happen.  Good luck!
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