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Co-Sleep Dilemma

vitanvitan member
in Attachment Parenting

Bit of a spin-off from the question below (transition).

We have been co-sleeping w/ DD since she came home and I have my routine down pat in terms of how we sleep. I get enough sleep and do just fine. Well, DH has been saying that he has not been able to sleep. He wakes up with every move and sound she makes and he's scared he'll get to close to her, etc. 

This breaks my heart because I know he needs his sleep but I don't want to put her in her crib quite yet but I also don't want to kick DH out of the room. Any solutions/thoughts on what to do?

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Re: Co-Sleep Dilemma

  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member

    Is DD sleeping between you? If so, would moving DD to the outside and having you sleep inbetween make H feel better/get sleep?

    FWIW my H had similar sleep issues and was very nervous about smothering LO when he was a newborn. Now that DS is older/bigger H says he isn't concerned about it and sleeps fine.  I found that if I always slept between H/DS it helped H feel more comfortable.

    Also you could sidecar the crib so she has her own space but is still in arms reach for night feedings/etc.



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  • vitanvitan member

    I do sleep in between them unless I need to nurse from the opposite side. I'll ask him if he feels more secure if I slept like that the whole night, which I can do. I have been able to nurse from the top breast (while kinda, almost laying on my stomach) before.

    I have also mentioned the side car thing but haven't really looked into it. 

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  • StefandToddStefandTodd member
    We bought a King size bed and a bedrail.  LO sleeps between me and the bedrail, and in a King size bed I swear my H barely knows LO is there, lol.
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  • BlindysWifeBlindysWife member
    imageVitan:

    I do sleep in between them unless I need to nurse from the opposite side. I'll ask him if he feels more secure if I slept like that the whole night, which I can do. I have been able to nurse from the top breast (while kinda, almost laying on my stomach) before.

    I have also mentioned the side car thing but haven't really looked into it. 

    Sidecar sidecar sidecar! :) it's the perfect solution, IMO. We did it for awhile and it was great. There are some really good photo tutorial blogposts out there on it. :)

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  • barbarajon444barbarajon444
    This kind of situation is too bad for a mom; she needs to chose between the two equally important people.
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  • boogerbearoriginalboogerbearoriginal member

    imagebarbarajon444:
    This kind of situation is too bad for a mom; she needs to chose between the two equally important people.

    How is this helpful?

    Additionally, I disagree. They are striving to balance the needs of the whole family, no one is choosing any one person over another.

    OP if your H isn't on board with adding the crib side car, perhaps you could simply put the crib in your bedroom so LO is still nearby but everyone can sleep? Just another option for you if bedsharing isn't going to work for your family.



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  • GMH1183GMH1183 member
    We put two queen mattresses on the floor side by side. I nurse LO on one and DH sleeps on the other. Sometimes I sneak back and forth between the two beds. This gives us the perfect amount of space. Sidecaring the crib did not work for us.
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