I'm still open to beating my MIL with my ginormous boobs

raefre · February 2012

I don't know if it is the hormones or what, but everything my MIL says is driving me crazy or making me cry.

DH invited his sister and mother to see the baby a day after I had given birth. Not a problem. SIL, who had already seen LO, came with MIL only because she knew MIL has an unfettered mouth and she was helping run interference.

First thing MIL did was unswaddle (is that a word?) the LO, while complaining that it was too cold for the baby (at 72F?!), and then examined to see if he had a penis and all 10 fingers and toes--as if he were any less than perfect, she would love him less. She then says that baby looked jaundiced (don't most newborns anyway? Oh, but the pediatrician said it was nothing to worry about it) and then proceeded to tell us that she wished he had been born a girl.

Then she wraps him up with 2 blankets (hello, this is Arizona--not Chicago) and keeps holding him even as he was crying to be fed. I started crying at this time My SIL saw my distress and offered to leave the room with MIL. She suggested that MIL hand DH the baby, to which MIL asked why she should do that, that she still wanted to hold him. (Because he's my husband and its my baby you are holding--sheesh.) And you would think she would get the hint that I was sobbing, that I wanted my baby and that it was time to go.

It was at this point the nurse came in to check on me and needed to unwrap LO. She then proceeded to point out that he was overheated and asked me if I wanted to kick out my MIL. I did but it was DH's responsibility to do this.

And where was DH during all of this? Well, not confronting his mother was one. His reasoning is that it wasn't a battle worth fighting, because his mother is oblivious and didn't realize she was doing anything wrong. Excuse me? Telling us that she wanted our beautiful son to be born a girl while holding him is a sign that she is oblivious?

Five days later and I'm still crying about this. DH suggests that it is just the changes in hormones but right now, I don't feel that way. I feel that she is a mean disgusting woman and that I hate her and I don't ever want to see her again. And now, I am told that she will be coming over next Saturday with one of my other SILs to see the baby. I need to find a way out of this. As for DH and I--we've talked about this over and over and he feels like I am trying to isolate him from his family, which I am not. I just don't want to be involved with emotionally unstable idiots, whether they come from my side or his.

Oh, some other funny/stupid things my MIL said that night: that I should have kept my placenta because it has good collagen that she could have used, that his little spirit was woven into my egg (excuse me, that was his father's sperm, thank you very much), called him by a nickname we told her we hate. This is in addition to all the other crap she has said in the past such as my breasts suffocating him (I loved the suggestion to beat her with my ginormous boobs), asking if the baby was small (no, he was right on size), and telling us that she is going to move into our spare room even though she only lives 8 miles away from us.

I think we need to move across the country or something.

theladyjess · February 2012

If you do beat her with your boobs can you record it and post it to Youtube so I can watch? I really need a laugh right now.

I'm so thankful that my inlaws can't visit. They live 4 hours away and FIL is getting dialysis 3 times a week and is in a nursing home recovering from a severe infection that nearly killed him between Christmas and New Years. My LO had severe jaundice complicated by ABO Incompatability/Coombs positive and was under the bili lights for a week. I'm sure my MIL didn't think it was that serious because both Hubby and BIL had jaundice and needed to be under the lights, but thier's was mild compaired to LO's.

When she comes for her next visit say you have a headache/migraine and camp out in your bedroom. If needed, go the extra step and buy a locking door knob at the hardware store and install it on the bedroom door so you can lock yourself away and keep her out. I know it's hard but you gotta do what's best for you and your baby, even if that means taking your LO out of MIL's arms and into another room to feed him.

michelle_1221 · February 2012

Agree with pp about the youtube!

Seriously, so sorry you're dealing with this. Keep at your DH, he really needs to recognize the impact of his mom to his family. My MIL does things to annoy me, but nothing like this. She sounds CRAZY!!!

neener3 · February 2012

I feel you. I'm still hating on my MIL for telling me I was going to starve my baby if I breastfed. Did I mention I have low supply and ended up having to supplement, so basically, she was right?

I hid in the bathtub the first time she came over, and cleaned the bathroom the second. I suggest the same for you. DH is sad that I "hate his mother", but understands where I'm coming from at the same time.

It sucks. Now everything she says makes me want to punch her in the face.

I keep reminding myself that she's H's Nana and she loves him beyond anything...sometimes it works to improve my feelings towards her.

namara5532 · February 2012

Wow, I thought my FIL was oblivious with his history of expecting children to behave like little adults. But he'll at least admit his ignorance about the needs of a young baby. He just volunteers his wife to help without consulting her then feels hurt when we turn him down.

I too would like to see the video of you beating her with your breasts. I also agree with PP about needing to get DH on your side. It's easier to deal with crazy family members as a united front.

KTHart03 · February 2012

Hi, I'm stalking from the May 2012 board and can feel your pain on your MIL. With my first son my MIL was nuts. On the way to hospital to visit him for the first time she was complaining that her grandson which was named after her son and her husband has the same name. She is Hispanic and doesn't like that he has same name and is half white, she would have preferred him to be pure Hispanic. Then because I was breastfeeding and she didn't like it she told everyone that he way dying, seriously she said the was near death because my milk supply was bad and I refused to give him formula. I didn't know this until we showed up at a family function with our chubby baby and people started to tell me that and obviously it wasn't true looking at this fat healthy baby. Plus when she would come over to visit right after he was born she didn't hold him, play with him or anything. Sat on the couch talking on her phone while my husband waited on her hand and foot serving her dinner while I was praying that she would just leave so that I could go to sleep. I promise that it does get better, I just ignore her craziness now and because she is so out there with her lies most people that she bad talks us to don't believe her because she has been caught in her lies so many times. Keep your head and just let her say the stupid crap that comes out of her mouth and don't taking ANYTHING she says personally.

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