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Baby Showers
delaneykai
member
Questions from a first time mom regarding baby showers
delaneykai
member
in Baby Showers
I have 2 wonderful girl friends who have offered to throw me a baby shower in June. They live in my husband's home town (about 2 hours south of where I live) and are already throwing a shower in May for one of our mutual friends, so they felt it would be easy for them to start planning one for me as well. This is our first baby and I don't have very much experience with baby showers, so after googling it to death and finding contradicting answers, I wanted to ask some general questions from those of you who have had baby showers or already know the details for the one you will have.
1. If you are only having one shower, who is invited? I haven't had any other friends or family offer to host a shower, so I would think close friends and relatives from both sides of the family would be invited, as long as the number of people is within reason (in my case it would be ~35 people invited, which both of the hostesses have said would be ok, but feels too big to me).
2. What are the rules about the distance of who is invited? I know that when hosting wedding showers, you shouldn't invite someone who lives long distance and couldn't feasibly attend the shower (gift grabby much? ;o)). The people I'm planning to invite all live within a 2 hour range of the shower, with the exception of my mom, sister and sister-in-law who live 5 hours away (who would come down for the entire weekend). This would mean, though, that several of my husband's aunts wouldn't be invited because they live a minimum of 6 hours away... is it more of a 'slight' to invite knowing that they couldn't attend or not invite so they don't feel obligated to send a gift? I think it's more of a slight to invite them because it's just "gift grabby", but am curious about others' opinions.
3. Best places to register? DH and I have started a registry under fake names on Babies R Us so that we can bookmark things as we figure out what we would like to register for. We won't be making the registry available for others to see until right before the shower invites go out. I've heard really great things about Amazon.com registries, so we might register on there as well. I guess it's important to note that we are first time parents and are planning to cloth diaper. I'm open to not actually using our Babies R Us registry (and just using it as a reference point for when we register somewhere else), and only want to have 2 registries at the max.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Questions from a first time mom regarding baby showers
All of this depends on YOUR family and circle of friends.
1) If only one shower, I would invite both friends and family. But first check with the hostess to see if she can accommodate the size. If she can't then just do friends and immediate family (like your parents, his parents, and siblings).
2) If it's customary in your or DH family to invite ALL family members (extended included), then you should invite them regardless of the distance. That is how it is in my family. My mom is one of seven, so we invite all of them, plus their spouses and their kids, and their kids! It gets pretty ridiculous, but that's the norm in my family. For this reason we are having two showers-- friends only and another family only.
3) We did BRU and Amazon. Almost everyone I know is an Amazon Prime member, and it's getting more activity than the BRU. We only did BRU to give people a 'real store' option. Again, this really depends on your guests!
All of this depends on YOUR family and circle of friends.
Ultimately, this! But to answer your questions from my POV:
1- if your hosts are fine w/ 35 people, I think that's fine. I don't feel that's too big - especially as there are people who won't be able to come. If you were talking 50, 60, or more, then my answer would probably be different.
2- I agree with you. I don't feel peopel who live far away should be invited. It's a shower - it's not a wedding or baptism (for example). If you didn't invte people from far away for your wedding shower, I'd stick to the same rule for your baby shower.
MOST mature, rational women are not going to be offended at not being "included" in having to buy you a gift...
3- I registered at BRU and it was fine.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I invited just my side of the family and my close circle of girlfriends. About 30 people total. DH's family was not interested, except for his mom and we did invite her but she didn't come. I don't think 35 is too big as long as your hostesses are cool with it.
I invited anyone that I am close to no matter how far they were. Although the guest that was the furthest away was only about 4 hours.
I registered at BRU and Target to give my guests a choice. Amazon would have been a disaster for me as many of my older family members prefer to shop in stores.
1. 35 sounds reasonable as long as your hosts have room! It will probably be more like 25 day of, there are always people who can't make it.
2. This one is totally unanswerable by anyone other than yourself. Only you know your family - will they be more offended by not getting an invite or by getting one for a shower they def. can't attend? Maybe your DH can help you...
3. We did bru and amazon. Amazon is great because you can register for stuff at other websites through them - which would be great for you if you are doing cloth diapers. I would highly recommend that you register at a brick-and-mortor store such as bru or target - for some reason half the people that go to your shower will buy the gift the morning of your shower. I have no clue why, don't ask me!!!
1. I would invite both families and friends. You said your friends were OK with 35 so try to keep the number there. Keep in mind that May is a busy month for some people so not all invited will be able to attend. That will certainly cut down your number slightly.
2. We invited almost everyone (except a few friends) that live from 1 1/2 - 5 hours away. We only invited women. None of our relatives live in the same area. I actually had 3 showers (friends - obviously local, church - also local, family - none are local). My family shower was hosted at my house by my cousin. It was the easiest for my family (which made up the majority of the guests to that shower). If your DH's aunts are always invited then I would invite them...I would check with your MIL regarding this. She would know.
3. We didn't register at Amazon but that is because a lot of my family/friends don't like ordering on-line. They just don't like their info "put out there". I tihnk if you know your crowd well enough you would know if they would go that route. As you mentioend BRU is also a good option for those that like to "touch" what they buy.
1) 35 people is a good number. Ultimately, it's whatever your hostesses are comfortable with. And likey, not everyone will be able to make it, so the actual number might be less.
2) It depends on your family/your DH's family. For my family's shower, we invited two of my aunts who live out of town knowing full well they weren't coming home for the shower. But it's something that is done in my family. Same for my shower from DH's family - MIL's cousin lives in CA (we live in MD) but would have been offended if not invited since the rest of their cousin's group were invited. All those from out of town knew we weren't doing it to be gift grabby and weren't obligated to send a gift if they didn't want to.
3) This also depends on your families/friends. Many people are okay ordering online but many also are not. We registered at BRU and Target just because it was the most convenient for guests. A few guests did end up shopping online from the registries but most shopped in store.