Toddler awake for HOURS in the middle of the night.

acia · February 2012

I can't figure out what's going on with my DD.... Every few nights, she'll wake up around 1-2am, and be awake for 3-4 HOURS before finally falling back to sleep. And then she'll wake up at her usual 6am (ish) wake-up time. So on those nights, she's getting maybe 6-7 hours of sleep total, which is obviously not enough.

When she wakes up and calls out, I respond to her but keep all the lights off, interact minimally - just deal with what she's asking for (potty, drink of water, tuck in, etc.). After about an hour of this and I've dealt with every possible thing that could be bothering her, she's just awake. Not upset, just really wide awake. I'll watch her on the video monitor and she's trying to fall asleep, rolling around, tossing and turning, eyes wide open - and she'll do that for 15-30 minutes before calling me again - and I'll just go in and lay her back down and tell her to go to sleep. Rinse and repeat dozens of times until she finally crashes around 5:30am (and then wakes up 45 minutes later).

I can't figure out any pattern to the nights she sleeps all the way through vs the nights she wakes up. She's not sick or teething or potty training. She doesn't appear to be having nightmares because she's not upset when she wakes up. Nothing is different as far as I can tell - the temperature is the same, her PJs are the same, she's not eating anything different, our activities during the day are the same, bedtime routine is the same, etc. It's just that she wakes up in the middle of the night, wide awake, and will not go back to sleep! Oh, and I've tried just leaving her but she just continues to get so worked up, which is the opposite of what I'm trying to accomplish....

Anyone else gone through anything like this? Is it just a phase? Any advice?

mrsseguin · February 2012

That sounds rough! I've never dealt with that...

Does she still nap during the day? Maybe she's not really tired at bedtime, and kinda treating it like a nap, and that's why she's waking up. If she is napping, I'd cut that out. Is she hungry? Maybe you could give her a snack right before bed to keep her full...

I hope you find a solution soon!

acia · February 2012

fredalina:
I take care of as many things as possible before bedtime. She has a potty in her room, a glass of water by the bedside, and I took her to Build-A-Bear to make a friend for if she feels scared or needs a hug. Her video monitor has an intercom button so I can remind her without going in, which is a huge reward for my LO and she would have trouble sleeping just from the excitement of mommy coming in.

Well she's in a crib still - I can't imagine how bad it would be if she was in a regular bed lol.... I think that the main thing that wakes her up is that she has to pee, but she doesn't like going in her pull-ups at night - and if she does go in them she wakes up anyways and wants me to put a clean diaper on.

Maybe I'll start getting DH to go in in the middle of the night - I think she finds him less "exciting" in the middle of the night than me....

JDWNYC · February 2012

Honestly, the best thing to do is to stop going to her. I tortured my mother doing this when I was about 2! Next time she does it, go in, tell her it's time to go to sleep (no water, potty, etc), and leave and don't go back. She may cry and yell. But she's gotta' figure out that the middle of the night isn't playtime and ANY interaction with you will just reinforce that she can get you whenever she wants. Then the next time she does it, you have to just not go in. If she really needs you, bc she has pooped or is sick or something, you'll know. My son does spend an hour or two awake at night every now and then (I see bc I am up feeding my infant), and on nights when I have gone to him to check for poop or something bc he hadn't pooped that day he is always awake longer and wakes again the next night.

JDWNYC · February 2012

Honestly, the best thing to do is to stop going to her. I tortured my mother doing this when I was about 2! Next time she does it, go in, tell her it's time to go to sleep (no water, potty, etc), and leave and don't go back. She may cry and yell. But she's gotta' figure out that the middle of the night isn't playtime and ANY interaction with you will just reinforce that she can get you whenever she wants. Then the next time she does it, you have to just not go in. If she really needs you, bc she has pooped or is sick or something, you'll know. My son does spend an hour or two awake at night every now and then (I see bc I am up feeding my infant), and on nights when I have gone to him to check for poop or something bc he hadn't pooped that day he is always awake longer and wakes again the next night. Also, I don't know what time her bedtime is, but until she stops waking at night you probably need to move it earlier, in the 6-7pm range.

WiggleBaby · February 2012

if she's in pullups during the night, and so i assume potty trained during the day? since you think it has to do with pee, just stop giving her a nighttime diaper. once my DD had the hang of daytime, we just stopped the nighttime diaper cuz she was having similar overnight issues (not for hours, but i think she was confused about peeing in the overnight diaper). make sure you have a mattress protector on and lots of spare sheets so you can change them fast in the middle of the night, hopefully with just a nightlight on so it's not too jarring. (it only took random bedwetting for a week or two for us.) and then let her know you are doing this, and if she has to pee at night she can call out for you and you'll help her... if it has to do with potty training and her realizing she has to pee during the night i would NOT ignore it. (well i wouldnt ignore it anyway but that's just me.) it might be much harder to break the nighttime diaper habit later if you miss your window of opportunity!

i'd say give it a shot - she's up anyway right? can't hurt, lol!

my other thought was to cut out or shorten her naps, if it isn't actually related to going potty.

AmandaP678 · February 2012

Is she still napping? If so maybe shorten or eliminate naps?

I have no advice as my son has never successfully slept through the night at 2.5.

Good luck!

Squirrel29 · February 2012

Are you willing to consider ditching the crib? My DS is a little younger but he started doing this right around the time he hit 2 yo and we couldn't figure it out. He's big for his age and it turns out he was uncomfortable in the crib. He would toss and turn in our bed and scream if I tried putting him in his crib. After two months of being up for a couple of hours most nights of the week (while pregnant) I figured making the leap to a big bed couldn't be worse. We got him a full size mattress and put in on the floor - he could not be happier and has never slept better. He likes to lay sideways (did this in his crib) and now has to room to sleep however he wants. We made the switch the week between Christmas and New Years and after months of dealing with the long night wakings it hasn't happened once since the switch. GL!

Suzi-G- · February 2012

I have no advice for you because we are going through the exact same thing and I cannot figure it out. My LO has never been a good sleeper, he's always woken up at night but this... this is different. I am praying it is a phase, a very short phase.

ETA: Like the PP we decided to go ahead and switch him to a twin bed because I thought he might be uncomfortable in the crib and I figured WTH it can't be worse, right? We haven't had another really bad night but it's too soon to say for certain if the new bed helped. On the plus side, now I can lay down with him in his bed if I need to so at least we don't keep DH up too.

Want a personalized experience?

Toddler awake for HOURS in the middle of the night.

Re: Toddler awake for HOURS in the middle of the night.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards