January 2012 Moms

2nd time moms - question about sex

So I got the go ahead from the dr today at my 6 week pp appointment. I was so looking forward to it and lubrication was not a problem (i even used lube) but it was so painful! He could only get the tip in and then we had to stop. It feels like I'm going to tear again. I am beyond disappointed :( So second time moms (or 1st time moms who have had sex already), how long after giving birth were you able to have sex again? Was it painful?
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"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it the more it will elude you but if u turn your attention to other things it will come & sit softly on your shoulder."

BFP! 04/26/11 - DS born 12/28/11 - BFP #2! 04/02/13 - DD born 12/11/13 -
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Re: 2nd time moms - question about sex

  • I think it all depends on how your delivery went.  I tore with my first and had the go-ahead from the dr at 6 weeks but still had DH and I wait until 8 weeks.  Even at 8 weeks I had to force myself to do it b/c I wasn't at all interested and I was super scared.  It was not a very exciting encounter for us but I didn't want to wait too long and get more and more anxious about it.  Honestly, it took a year for me to not be able to feel the spot where I tore and to really start enjoying sex again.

    This time I didn't tear so I feel ready now but I'm only 4 w pp so we're supposed to wait another 2 weeks.  Our anniversary is on 3/3 so we'll probably go ahead and have sex then even though my 6wpp visit isn't until 2 days later, but since my delivery went so well and I'm not in any pain I figure it'll be okay.

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  • This probably isn't what you want to hear, but with my first we had sex at 5 weeks PP.  This time we had sex at 3 weeks PP.  We just took it slow and it was amazing.  Each time it feels a little better.  I only had a 1st degree tear each time, though.  
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  • it was painful the first few times. mostly just at the beginning and then things loosened up and it felt ok. Lots of lube even if you don't think you need it. Go slowly. Be really into it. Once you get the whole thing in there the pain should start to ease up. 

    I had Madonna's "like a virgin" stuck in my head for while every time we had sex in those first few months.

    It got much better with time and completely back to normal once I started ovulating again about 1 year pp. 

  • I had sex 5 week PP with my first. We tried at four weeks I thought it hurt too much.  At 5 weeks I was determined. Lube and determination. We took it slow and it hurt a bit the first time. Maybe hurt is the wrong word even - it was uncomfortable.We did it again two days later and it was more comfortable and less painful.  The more we did it, the better it got.  But be careful with my advice because by the time DS was 3 months old I was pg again...
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