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July 2011 Moms
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XP: Is this a "skill" LO needs to learn? Long.

dairygirl19dairygirl19 member
in July 2011 Moms

Background: I have a very easy happy baby. She plays well, loves people, loves noise and interaction.

She'll play for a long time by herself with her toys/in the bouncer/in the jumper/in her highchair/whatever. As long as ANYBODY is around to look at her/throw the occassional comment her way...lol. Otherwise she gets angry.

She doesn't really cry to get picked up if anybody is around unless it's been awhile.

Basically, she hates to be alone. I can't put her in her crib with toys for a bit while I quick vacuum the LR or take a shower for example. She'll wail before I even hit the hallway. Also when she wakes up from nap or in the morning, she pretty much screams instantly to get bailed out...lol. She's not a baby that will play in her crib for a bit.

This doesn't bother me because she does play well. I also feel like she's 7 months old it's just a phase. She's also always been a social baby. I can get things done with her right by me..it's not like I have to hold her all day long.

I also think it stems from the fact my main daycare is two HS aged neighbor girls who just dote on her. The kid is used to attention.

However, it drives my mom and MIL (both who are great people I respect and adore. It's not like they're just being b*tchy) insane. They always tell me, "You need to get that kid to play alone."

My BF also made the same comment.

I feel like my kid, my rules. It doesn't bother me so whatever. I do feel like she does play alone. It's not like I have to sit right by her all day long. Then again, I also feel like, "Hmm..that could be nice."

So thoughts, opinions, what do you dos welcome.

Sorry this long..I'm just trying to explain.

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Re: XP: Is this a "skill" LO needs to learn? Long.

  • MilMom2BMilMom2B
    I don't think it's that big of a deal. And like you said, your kid your rules. This is what works for your family. Also, fwiw, my DD went through a major phase where I couldn't even put her down she'd flip out. She got over it. Then lately she's been going through what you've described, where she'll play fine on her own as long as someone is there to keep her company even if they're not interacting with her directly. Well, she's getting over that now, too. She still has a period of the day where she acts like this, but other times she's cool with army crawling around the house and will check to make sure that I'm NOT watching her (she gets this embarrassed giggly face when she sees I still have my eyes on her).
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  • Hope2HaveHope2Have
    Hadley has JUST started doing the same thing... happy playing as long as somebody/anybody is in her sight, talking to her is a bonus. I SO wouldn't care what they think... You know what's best!
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  • weebos8weebos8 member
    LO is just getting to where you can put him down and let him play by himself.  BUT you must be right there.  It doesn't really bother me, and I would not worry about other people; you're right, your kid, your rules.
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  • abbyfp2324abbyfp2324
    My LO is the same way and has been for awhile. I don't even know if true separation anxiety has set in yet but when it does it's going to be hard. I usually can't even run to the bathroom quickly without her crying when I leave the room, so I end up taking her with me! I just figure she loves her mama. Big Smile She does fine when someone at church wants to hold her and I'm not right there though, so I think it's more that she just doesn't like to be alone. And she does okay going to sleep at night, so I'm not sure why the daytime is different.
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  • katiewhompuskatiewhompus member
    K does this but I'm not worried. Most of my parenting ideas come from my college anthroplogy courses though and aren't mainstream. Baby humans evolved in an environment where they would never have been left alone, so why go against that if possible.

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  • dairygirl19dairygirl19 member

    Thanks girls! I appreciate the advice.

    I don't think it's separation anxiety. It's not me she cares about really. She loves anyone that'll talk to her.

    That and she's always been like this. I think it's her personality.

    She's like her momma...needs a lot of noise and interaction. ;)

    I do leave her alone. If I know my shower will be quick, change the laundry, get the mail etc. She cries, but she'll live. ;)

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  • FrankieandTylerFrankieandTyler

    S is like this too, i've been pushing his highchair into the bathroom and putting him in it so i can shower. i think sometimes it's keeping him from learning to just hang out in his crib and everything will be okay, but i think there is plenty of time for that.

    and...this new system allows me to shower daily which hasn't happened in a long tim! :)

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  • xBoBoxxBoBox
    imagedairygirl19:

    I feel like my kid, my rules. It doesn't bother me so whatever. I do feel like she does play alone. It's not like I have to sit right by her all day long. Then again, I also feel like, "Hmm..that could be nice."

    I would love to be where you are at. haha. DS is still in his "you cannot put me down at all" phase. Everyone says he will grow out of it, but not yet. He will only go in his jumper for 5 minutes at a time max and that is only if I am sitting right next to him. I have to be interacting with him basically anytime he is awake or he cries/whines. I don't get much done...but, I'm sure he will eventually have fun on his own. 

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  • Mason&MamaMason&Mama member
    That sounds normal to me. It is very rare that LO will hang out in a room without me. Some days he won't even play on his own at all! if it doesn't bother you that she likes company, I wouldn't stress. Someday she will be a teenage girl who looks herself in her room for hours. They won't always want to hang out with us 24/7.
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  • swimiz500swimiz500 member

    DD does the same exact thing, and pretty much always has. I was never concerned about it, and my mom said it was normal so I just believed her. 

    I agree with your kid, your rules. And I totally get what you mean by how nice it would be. I guess my thought is that my DD is just not ready because it doesn't matter what we do, she freaks out if we leave. So for now, I don't think I will do anything differently, mainly because I haven't a clue what to do! 

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  • COMomma81COMomma81 member
    Sounds like separation anxiety...very common for this age and completely normal. It's a phase! If it is any consolation, my daughter is exactly the same. Someone has to be in her line of sight at all times. It'll pass! :)
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  • genekellygenekelly member
    Could just be a bit of separation anxiety on the early side?  I have a niece, now 6 yrs, who would scream whenever her mom(my sister) was out of sight.  She did this from ~4 mo until finally at 10 mo, a switch was flipped and she was happy with everybody.  She's a sweet very social little girl now. If you don't mind losing possible babysitters b/c they can't deal with her screaming, I say don't worry about it.  That said, my sister had 4 other older kids and basically let her daughter cry when she had to get something done for the other ones.  If it doesn't drive you crazy, then I wouldn't stress about it.    FWIW, my son really doesn't play in his crib either.  Once he's awake, he usu screams like someone pinched him but  we usu try to give him several seconds before a rescue. 
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