Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: When did you celebrate LO's first year?
We actually celebrated his birthday the Saturday before his actual birthday (his birthday is close to Memorial Day). It was so wonderful just having family and friends there. And it was just a beautiful day-it was his special day. We had a chocolate cake for the adults and mini vanilla cupcakeds for the kids. My son really did not know what to do with the cupcake. That came a couple of months later when he was better at eating finger food--and now he is just a pro. I gave baby food and other easy to eat baby snacks as party favors to the other babies that came to the party. And I made sure that we had puffs there--my son threw them on the floor--he is a party animal. I feel like with my preemie son that I have to just let him be who he is --this is his birthday, this is when he was born, and at that time, he just was not the best with some finger food.
And actually May turned out to be a better month to have his birthday. It just felt like other people had more conflicts with some of the events that were scheduled during the summer time--people were either out of town or had some other conflict.
This is the time to turn their birthday into a day of joy - because for the rest of their lives the day they arrived is going to be their birthday and they're going to want it happy. Those other things are the details we, as parents, need to deal with and sort out. KWIM? DS's bday was the scariest day of my life, but I'm not going to tell him that and make his bday a date that has zero significance for him.
I'm sorry - I know it's hard. Those months aren't going to be a big deal later in life - my mom was born 3 mo early but she doesn't tell people she's 58 and 9 mo.
My attempt at some humor/perspective with that last part.
we will celebrate on his b-day on his b-day but we will be away. however i plan to dress him up, get a small cake etc.
when we get home we have the MOD walk.
we have a big party planned for a few weeks later mostly because we have a busy month before his bday and i want time to plan and do some nice touches for his party so we pushed it ahead a few weeks.
Agree with above. Adjusted age doesn't delay a birthday. In my mind, that's just a way to mark milestones/progess, etc.
Celebrate on the day they were born...their "birthday." If not the exact day (depending on what day of the week it is), then sometime close to it.
Wow! I'm in the minority. I did not celebrate my daughter's first birthday on her actual birthday. It was just too hard for me emotionally. I had her party closer to the anniversary of the day she came home. I also think you can consider adjusted age that first year. A nine month old is different than a 12 month old. As they get older, the adjusted age becomes less important.
Frankly, my daughter didn't realize that we celebrated her birthday on a different day. With time it has gotten easier, and her second birthday was celebrated on her actual birthdate.
I think you should celebrate on whatever day feels right to you.
Corri was 10 weeks early, and we celebrated her first birthday on her actual first birthday...March 5, 2011. For those who say they couldn't eat the cake and stuff, sure they can! Our pedi gave the go ahead to feed her cake and whatnot on her first birthday, and she was only 9.5 months old adjusted. She did just fine, and had a blast making a gigantic mess as evidenced by the below:
Bottom line, they are one for all intents and purposes on their first birthday, and by their second, adjusted age doesn't even matter, so there is no reason to confuse matters.