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Maryland Babies
Mella&T
member
Someone's getting a little brother!
When did you first leave your baby for several nights?
Mella&T
member
I am toying with the idea of surprising DH with a trip somewhere for his 30th in August (B will be 16 months then). We would probably be gone 3-4 nights since I am thinking Vegas or CA. I can't stomach the thought of leaving Bailey overnight, let alone several nights, but I also don't want to be that mom who never leaves her kid(s) and forfeits other things in life we want to do. I know she'd be in good hands with the ILs but I want to cry when I think about leaving her. When did you first go away and how was it?
Someone's getting a little brother!
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Re: When did you first leave your baby for several nights?
I first went away for a weekend when Sean was about 11 months old. I BFed until he was between 9 and 10 months old so it would have been a huge PITA to do it before then. The first night was ok....it was amazing to sit down at a restaurant with another adult and leisurely eat instead of shoveling food in and picking puffs up off of the floor. But by the second night I missed him soooooo bad and all I could think about was getting home.
I am kind of a weirdo about leaving my kids, I have trust issues and don't trust anyone but DH with them so I am probably not the appropriate person to ask this question. lol.
We left Ava for one night when she was 9 months old and then for two nights when she was 20 months--both times she was with my mom and she was fine.
I think you should definitely go. It is so important (and I'm finally just learning this!) to have one on one time with your spouse.
p.s. can I come??
DD is 21 mos and we haven't left her together. I went away for 2 nights when she was about 10mos old and DH has only really been away with the snow we had last year. We were going to go on a couples retreat with other church people but DH wasn't comfortable with both of us leaving for multiple nights (i wasn't either but thought this would be good for us). He finally said the other day that the only person he would trust is my mom to keep her so she would have to be ok with it, but we are still not going. He also was supposed to go away for work for 4 days and he is glad it got moved to a time he couldn't go because he couldn't stomach leaving her for 4 days. I'm bad, but I think he's worse!
We are probably not the best people to ask either!
I think it would be great for us to spend some more QT together and we really need it, but neither of us are ready nor can stomach leaving for multiple days.
We haven't been away for multiple night, but only because we haven't had a reason or opportunity to. The first time DS slept overnight with one of our parents was when he was 8 weeks old. Both my parents and IL's were begging to have him, and at that point he was pretty much STTN, so he spent the night with my parents, then 2 weeks later with the IL's. He typically spends the night at one of their houses once a month since then. It's so nice to have an evening with just DH and I, where we can go to dinner, or just go out shopping just the two of us, and then to get even an hour of extra sleep in the morning is awesome. Plus our parents LOVE having him spend the night, they plan all kinds of fun activities for him.
We would totally do a long weekend if we had it in our budget and found the time. I think if you have parents, IL's, family that you trust, it's also a great way for them to bond with your LO.
It hasn't happened yet. Part of it is a logisitcal issue. My parents live with us, so there aren't over nights with Nan and Pop. Tim's parents both live over an hour away. If DD is staying over at their house, we usually stay too.
We've only left DS for 1 night so far. We left him with ILs on NYE when he was 7 months old. It went really well. DH has been away on a couple 2-3 night trips so he's been away from him for more than 1 night at a time.
Can you try a single overnight now to see how it goes? That might give you a better feel for how you might handle a trip later. Or at least get you used to being away from her for a little.
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w
BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w
BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d
BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
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Hey Melissa!
We are actually leaving M for the first time this coming June (by then, she will be 23 months). It will be for three nights, but really four since we get home late on the 4th night. We have never left her for even one night yet. Friends of ours are getting married in Cancun. I am a nervous wreck about it already, but I know she will be fine! She is 18 months now, and we would be ok with leaving her at this age too if the wedding were now. At this age, she eats "real food" and has a pretty predictible nap/sleep schedule (verses when she was younger, of course).
People say this will be good for us (and for her), so I just have to take their word for it!
Honestly, I think it depends on whether who you ask is bfing or not. It's much more of a PITA if you are still bfing. We haven't left DD because of this. (She eats solids, but has no teeth and hates purees, so her diet is still pretty limited. She's also slow-growing so the Dr. wants her to get breastmilk, formula or milk. She has a sensitivity to soy and I haven't tried milk yet due to my issues with it. She also nurses 2x night and doesn't STTN. Also, we don't have relatives in the area and I really don't feel comfortable hiring a sitter to stay overnight - that just seems weird.
I wouldn't start out with a 4 night trip. I'd do something overnight and go from there.
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The first time was when she was 18 months old and I went to my 10 year college reunion with friends and left her home with DH. Of course I called several times and he sent me lots of cell phone pics, and she was just fine.
The second was a few weeks later and the ILs watched her overnight for us when we went to a wedding on a Saturday night. It was a fun date night and great to not have to worry about picking her up afterwards, but I still went and got her very early the next morning (in my hungover state).
And then when she was 19 months old, I went to Vegas for work for 5 days. We skyped every day, which helped me, and again it was very nice to be away from the mommy responsibilities for a while, but I missed her like crazy and couldn't wait to get home.
DH and I aren't the type to go out on date nights just the two of us. Our last one was the wedding in November and we are both of the mindset that we would rather do something the 3 of us, than go out to dinner or whatever just us two. I do anticipate this changing as DD gets older though.
The first time is when B was 17 months old and I was going to the hospital to have the baby
The next time was when he was 2 and she was 9-10 months old.
It's not that I would have a hard time with it. We just don't have a lot of money to go places and do things
I do lie a little. It is a little hard for me to leave them overnight but I spend almost every minute of the day with them so I'm attached 
miscarriage on 11/26/09 at 5w6d
I am afraid this is going to be the case for us as well.
My husband has gone away once or twice, and A and I have traveled without him. I left her with him overnight, but due to the impending hurricane the trip was less than 24hrs.
I was hoping to arrange an overnight away before May, but I don't think it is going to happen.
We left DD with my parents for one night shortly after she turned 2, but before DS was born. It was kind of spur of the moment- we dropped her off @ my folks and went to an estate auction, filled up the car and then went back to my parents' house. We didn't have enough room for her and all of the furniture, so after having dinner w/ them we headed home w/out her. Unloaded the car the next day and then went back and got her.
She started spending the occasional night w/ my parents after that- working up to her staying with them for 4 or 5 nights over this past summer to go to "camp" at my mom's gym- but now for some reason she says she is "scared" to stay there and that she misses us, etc. So we aren't forcing it right now.
We have not spent the night away from DS yet. He is not the best sleeper, especially when he is not in his own room/crib.
We left DD1 at the ILs for a week, when they generously sent us to Hawaii for our honeymoon. It was hard to leave her, but we knew she was in good hands, and we were busy most of the time we were away so that helped keep my mind off how much I missed her.
We still haven't left DD2 overnight. Her personality is different than DD1's, and I think it would be more difficult for her to go away overnight, plus let's face it - who wants to keep 2u2 overnight? Her first time spending the night away will likely be when #3 is born, and she will be at the ILs then for one, maybe two nights.