First Breakdown and it all hits...

amyufo1 · February 2012

I Just found out that I'm pregnant again.. It shocked the crap out of me and has had me pretty scared the last few days. I'm only 20 and this is my third pregnancy. One of the biggest fears is that people will look down on me more because I am a young mom. I shouldnt care what people think of me but truth is humanity has a way of making me care weither I want to or not. I know people wonder if I know what birth control is and I am very aware of it. I was really trying hard to not get pregnant. This was not what I wanted for myself at this time. I am also pretty poor. We get state paid insurance and foodstamps. We moved to a crapy town about a year and a half ago because my mom begged us to follow them when they retired. This town doesnt have any oprotunities for us and leaves us stuck where we are. I don't know how to handle it finantually and dont want to teach my kids to ride off the government. We are in a hole and just want to get out of it....

..anyway, all of this has been on my mind and then I called to make a dr appointment for a dr an hour away after I found them through my insurance. They insisted that the only drs that accept my insurance were at one of their locations and are booked for a few months. Thats not what my insurance told me, they said there were dr with the same company in a few locations. I guess I took it as your poor we dont want to see you... Now I can't seem to stop crying because of one pathetic interaction. I'm stuck here in the town with no one to talk to other than my husband and just needed to get it out of my system. Sorry for the many spelling errors, while I'm upset my spelling goes out the window

black.kat · February 2012

Maybe a good birth control for you would be to not have sex. Just an idea. Or get fixed.

I worked at head start for over 6 yrs and saw alot of these same stories. I am pretty jaded on this issue so I am going to keep it simple. Look into your local Head Start and they will be able to help you. You also have to look into serious birth control. Also ask them about opportunities for help for school and a job hunt when the time is right. I can't tell you how many times I have seen this cycle go through families - over and over - young mothers having children (married or not - are you married?) but not being fully prepared for the child (CHILDREN) and getting their family into the rut of living off the gov. Government assistance is just that, assistance, not a way of life.

I wish you the best, I am hoping this is MUD, but unfortunately there are a lot of young girls out there with the same story.

Thank you for choosing life for you child, but you are a mother of three kids you have a lot of work to do to be an adequate parent. Find a place that will support you positively, like Head Start.

Yes, to the rest of the people reading this, I can be harsh, but it is how I feel and spare me the flames, she posted this on a public board and I have way too much history with these sort of stories than to sit quiet.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

black.kat:
Maybe a good birth control for you would be to not have sex. Just an idea. Or get fixed.
I worked at head start for over 6 yrs and saw alot of these same stories. I am pretty jaded on this issue so I am going to keep it simple. Look into your local Head Start and they will be able to help you. You also have to look into serious birth control. Also ask them about opportunities for help for school and a job hunt when the time is right. I can't tell you how many times I have seen this cycle go through families - over and over - young mothers having children (married or not - are you married?) but not being fully prepared for the child (CHILDREN) and getting their family into the rut of living off the gov. Government assistance is just that, assistance, not a way of life.
I wish you the best, I am hoping this is MUD, but unfortunately there are a lot of young girls out there with the same story.
Thank you for choosing life for you child, but you are a mother of three kids you have a lot of work to do to be an adequate parent. Find a place that will support you positively, like Head Start.
Yes, to the rest of the people reading this, I can be harsh, but it is how I feel and spare me the flames, she posted this on a public board and I have way too much history with these sort of stories than to sit quiet.

ALL of this.

amyufo1 · February 2012

FYI birth control is man made meaning it FAILS! We are employed and trying to do the F-ing best we can. I needed support not my fault told to me when I am obviously aware of them. I am married to someone that has been working so hard to get us out of this crappy situation. How would you feel for someone to tell you to just stop having sex with your husband?

EGMphoto · February 2012

amyufo1:
FYI birth control is man made meaning it FAILS! We are employed and trying to do the F-ing best we can. I needed support not my fault told to me when I am obviously aware of them. I am married to someone that has been working so hard to get us out of this crappy situation. How would you feel for someone to tell you to just stop having sex with your husband?

Understood, but you have to understand that you're going to get both types of replies on a public message board.

Good luck to you and your babies.

black.kat · February 2012

Again... you posted this on a message board... you aren't talking to your girlfriend. I have no knowledge of you but what you write. You are 20 yrs old - when you are 30 you will see how young you were here.

Okay fine don't stop having sex with your husband, get pregnant again... go for it.

You came on here about your breakdown, I told you a place to go for real help. You have made your decisions and now you have some tough work ahead. Don't cry to me about how birth control fails... there are plenty of options INCLUDING understanding exactly how your body works in the reproductive areas - the more you know about yourself the better chance you have of not being in a situation like this. Sure I am harsh, but if it is sympathy and cuddling you want you will have to go elsewhere.

I am sure you are a very nice person. I hope for you that you live in a state like WI, we have a lot of people that get "assistance" for many many years... they have no problems!!

GOOD LUCK!

brideandbreve · February 2012

amyufo1:
FYI birth control is man made meaning it FAILS! We are employed and trying to do the F-ing best we can. I needed support not my fault told to me when I am obviously aware of them. I am married to someone that has been working so hard to get us out of this crappy situation. How would you feel for someone to tell you to just stop having sex with your husband?

Here's the reality: If you're not in a position where you can afford/obtain birth control (the pill, an IUD, the patch, condoms, whatever) and you cannot afford to keep having kids and unplanned pregnancies, then short of celibacy, I don't know what other option you have. :

And if you're taking birth control and still getting pregnant because the birth control is failing, then my thought is one of two things: Either you're taking medication that renders the birth control useless (antibiotics will do this), or you're not taking it correctly.

I don't know your situation other than what's on this message board, but I do hope you have a healthy and happy 9 months.

downwardsunshine · February 2012

<quote>

Maybe a good birth control for you would be to not have sex. Just an idea. Or get fixed.

I worked at head start for over 6 yrs and saw alot of these same stories. I am pretty jaded on this issue so I am going to keep it simple. Look into your local Head Start and they will be able to help you. You also have to look into serious birth control. Also ask them about opportunities for help for school and a job hunt when the time is right. I can't tell you how many times I have seen this cycle go through families - over and over - young mothers having children (married or not - are you married?) but not being fully prepared for the child (CHILDREN) and getting their family into the rut of living off the gov. Government assistance is just that, assistance, not a way of life.

I wish you the best, I am hoping this is MUD, but unfortunately there are a lot of young girls out there with the same story.

Thank you for choosing life for you child, but you are a mother of three kids you have a lot of work to do to be an adequate parent. Find a place that will support you positively, like Head Start.

Yes, to the rest of the people reading this, I can be harsh, but it is how I feel and spare me the flames, she posted this on a public board and I have way too much history with these sort of stories than to sit quiet.

</quote>

Yep, THIS. I think it's pretty mild actually, what I wanted to say was way worse

DelaBella · February 2012

I'm calling MUD on this one.

amyufo1 · February 2012

Here is more to my story. I had my son when I was 16. I was an honor student and had a big future ahead of me. I thought about adoption for my son but my parents didnt agree so I dropped out and got my GED. I started College with expectations of having a degree by the time I was 18. The college had even adjusted some of the course goals to be as well as some of my GED scores were. I was a smart girl that birth control failed for. Anyway my college got put on hold because the best daycare in town told me that my son was too much for them and "needed someone who could give him more attention". I didn't have anyone else to watch him. My boyfriend (husband now) was working 72 hours a week on a farm for very little pay. We moved out of my parents house and I got a part time job where I worked while my bf was off. I tried online classes and failed because I simply forgot. It was much easier going to class. My husband got laid off from the farm and started doing maintainence for a nursing home. We were doing well and starting to have things no one else our age came close to having. We had two good viehicals, a home, all of our bills were paid. Now and then it was hard but we were doing alright. We moved trying to better ourselves. We figure with the cost of living being lower we would be able to bank money and get further ahead... Not how it happened. Jobs are hard to get here and pay very little. We have tried having our own buisness and endup putting us in a harder position since we had 2 customers in 3 months. This is were we started getting behind on bills and needing assistance number 2 came as well. He has been such a blessing to our family and couldnt be happier. We live pay check to paycheck with out a lot of stuff but we get by with the assistance. We have all along been trying to get somewhere in life for our family. Some how we WILL be a good example for our kids. As it is they are well dressed and loved. They dont realized how hard we have it. We have been working on getting out of this town for more oprotunity. We have just been getting out of our hole when we found out about number 3. We dont party, we are as sober as anyone could be. We have ambition and love. We have a wonderful realationship that is strong and passionate. No one has a right to tell us to tone it down. We try to be as responsible as we can. We use protection and tried to prevent this but here we are. I don't have friends here and just wanted to make some kind of connection hoping somone would understand. In the end it left my hormonal self crying for over and hour and hating myself for how horrible I must be. I am at a point in my life where i had to get assistance and hate every second of it. I want to be at a place where our finances our sound and we dont have to worry about it. I will be there someday. Head start has nothing to offer me that I havent done. My abition will do more than they ever will for me. I am a strong young mother that will raise her children right. I am young but that doesnt make me a bad mom. So to anyone having only negative things to say you need to check your sources and understand that people come in all different situations. When someone reaches out for emotional support dont shoot them down more. Im sure they have done it enough themselves. Dont be so quick to point the finger be as for me, I will be someone before long. Im just down in the meantime and needed some kind words.

PhillyPhan · February 2012

DelaBella:
I'm calling MUD on this one.

That was my first thought too.

MomiJerz · February 2012

No way this is real !!!

amyufo1 · February 2012

PhillyPhan:
DelaBella:
I'm calling MUD on this one.
That was my first thought too.

say what you want but i am a real person sharing her life. if my struggles seem like a hoax i must be in the wrong place sorry for wasting time

amyufo1 · February 2012

PhillyPhan:
DelaBella:
I'm calling MUD on this one.
That was my first thought too.

say what you want but i am a real person sharing her life. if my struggles seem like a hoax i must be in the wrong place sorry for wasting time

KKSBeans · February 2012

I don't know what MUD is, but I will share my thoughts on this as well. First of all, I am the first one to rip the welfare system up one side and right down the other. I know TOO many people making their living off of government assistance, instead of using it as help until they can get on their feet (which realistically, is what it was intended for)

However, this girl is young and clearly know the mistakes she has made, she spelled them out in her OP. She also appears to know that she is not in the best situation for another child. But it has happened and there isn't much that can be done about. I don't think it is necessary to flame her to the point of tears. This is not the first person that I have witnessed being flamed into hiding and I guess I'm not sure why it's happening ? We are all different walks of life and all in different situations in life, so while I despise the "welfare employed", I would never do this. I realize this is a public message board, where everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I also thought it was here to support each other in a very roller coaster time in our lives ?

To the OP, I wish you a H & H 9 months. I wish the best for you and your family and as long as you are trying to better your situation as opposed to making a living off the government then who am I to judge ? Especially in today's economy.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

amyufo1:
Here is more to my story. I had my son when I was 16. I was an honor student and had a big future ahead of me. I thought about adoption for my son but my parents didnt agree so I dropped out and got my GED. I started College with expectations of having a degree by the time I was 18. The college had even adjusted some of the course goals to be as well as some of my GED scores were. I was a smart girl that birth control failed for. Anyway my college got put on hold because the best daycare in town told me that my son was too much for them and "needed someone who could give him more attention". I didn't have anyone else to watch him. My boyfriend (husband now) was working 72 hours a week on a farm for very little pay. We moved out of my parents house and I got a part time job where I worked while my bf was off. I tried online classes and failed because I simply forgot. It was much easier going to class. My husband got laid off from the farm and started doing maintainence for a nursing home. We were doing well and starting to have things no one else our age came close to having. We had two good viehicals, a home, all of our bills were paid. Now and then it was hard but we were doing alright. We moved trying to better ourselves. We figure with the cost of living being lower we would be able to bank money and get further ahead... Not how it happened. Jobs are hard to get here and pay very little. We have tried having our own buisness and endup putting us in a harder position since we had 2 customers in 3 months. This is were we started getting behind on bills and needing assistance number 2 came as well. He has been such a blessing to our family and couldnt be happier. We live pay check to paycheck with out a lot of stuff but we get by with the assistance. We have all along been trying to get somewhere in life for our family. Some how we WILL be a good example for our kids. As it is they are well dressed and loved. They dont realized how hard we have it. We have been working on getting out of this town for more oprotunity. We have just been getting out of our hole when we found out about number 3. We dont party, we are as sober as anyone could be. We have ambition and love. We have a wonderful realationship that is strong and passionate. No one has a right to tell us to tone it down. We try to be as responsible as we can. We use protection and tried to prevent this but here we are. I don't have friends here and just wanted to make some kind of connection hoping somone would understand. In the end it left my hormonal self crying for over and hour and hating myself for how horrible I must be. I am at a point in my life where i had to get assistance and hate every second of it. I want to be at a place where our finances our sound and we dont have to worry about it. I will be there someday. Head start has nothing to offer me that I havent done. My abition will do more than they ever will for me. I am a strong young mother that will raise her children right. I am young but that doesnt make me a bad mom. So to anyone having only negative things to say you need to check your sources and understand that people come in all different situations. When someone reaches out for emotional support dont shoot them down more. Im sure they have done it enough themselves. Dont be so quick to point the finger be as for me, I will be someone before long. Im just down in the meantime and needed some kind words.

Holy run on paragraph.

MomiJerz · February 2012

meegan71010:
I don't know what MUD is, but I will share my thoughts on this as well. First of all, I am the first one to rip the welfare system up one side and right down the other. I know TOO many people making their living off of government assistance, instead of using it as help until they can get on their feet (which realistically, is what it was intended for)

However, this girl is young and clearly know the mistakes she has made, she spelled them out in her OP. She also appears to know that she is not in the best situation for another child. But it has happened and there isn't much that can be done about. I don't think it is necessary to flame her to the point of tears. This is not the first person that I have witnessed being flamed into hiding and I guess I'm not sure why it's happening ? We are all different walks of life and all in different situations in life, so while I despise the "welfare employed", I would never do this. I realize this is a public message board, where everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I also thought it was here to support each other in a very roller coaster time in our lives ?

To the OP, I wish you a H & H 9 months. I wish the best for you and your family and as long as you are trying to better your situation as opposed to making a living off the government then who am I to judge ? Especially in today's economy.

Most aren't judging !! And some think it's MUD I being one of them!

Lol if we arent buying the story how are we judging or being rude! Lol

amyufo1 · February 2012

Afunky6:
amyufo1:
Here is more to my story. I had my son when I was 16. I was an honor student and had a big future ahead of me. I thought about adoption for my son but my parents didnt agree so I dropped out and got my GED. I started College with expectations of having a degree by the time I was 18. The college had even adjusted some of the course goals to be as well as some of my GED scores were. I was a smart girl that birth control failed for. Anyway my college got put on hold because the best daycare in town told me that my son was too much for them and "needed someone who could give him more attention". I didn't have anyone else to watch him. My boyfriend (husband now) was working 72 hours a week on a farm for very little pay. We moved out of my parents house and I got a part time job where I worked while my bf was off. I tried online classes and failed because I simply forgot. It was much easier going to class. My husband got laid off from the farm and started doing maintainence for a nursing home. We were doing well and starting to have things no one else our age came close to having. We had two good viehicals, a home, all of our bills were paid. Now and then it was hard but we were doing alright. We moved trying to better ourselves. We figure with the cost of living being lower we would be able to bank money and get further ahead... Not how it happened. Jobs are hard to get here and pay very little. We have tried having our own buisness and endup putting us in a harder position since we had 2 customers in 3 months. This is were we started getting behind on bills and needing assistance number 2 came as well. He has been such a blessing to our family and couldnt be happier. We live pay check to paycheck with out a lot of stuff but we get by with the assistance. We have all along been trying to get somewhere in life for our family. Some how we WILL be a good example for our kids. As it is they are well dressed and loved. They dont realized how hard we have it. We have been working on getting out of this town for more oprotunity. We have just been getting out of our hole when we found out about number 3. We dont party, we are as sober as anyone could be. We have ambition and love. We have a wonderful realationship that is strong and passionate. No one has a right to tell us to tone it down. We try to be as responsible as we can. We use protection and tried to prevent this but here we are. I don't have friends here and just wanted to make some kind of connection hoping somone would understand. In the end it left my hormonal self crying for over and hour and hating myself for how horrible I must be. I am at a point in my life where i had to get assistance and hate every second of it. I want to be at a place where our finances our sound and we dont have to worry about it. I will be there someday. Head start has nothing to offer me that I havent done. My abition will do more than they ever will for me. I am a strong young mother that will raise her children right. I am young but that doesnt make me a bad mom. So to anyone having only negative things to say you need to check your sources and understand that people come in all different situations. When someone reaches out for emotional support dont shoot them down more. Im sure they have done it enough themselves. Dont be so quick to point the finger be as for me, I will be someone before long. Im just down in the meantime and needed some kind words.
Lots of people are way worse than you. Not saying that to be mean, I'm saying that as kind of a kudos. Life is hard. I know its not optimal to get assistance from the government, but no one is ever going to say to you 'How dare you live off government assistance'. From the sound of it, both you and your hubby work your asses off to make ends meet. So why feel bad? Its not like your a crack head mom who has 8 kids and got them all taken away. You care for your kids, love them, provide for them. Being 20 and having 3 kids, I couldnt imagine! I'm 20 and this is our first. I think it would be very hard to have 3 kids at this age, so again kudos for doing what your doing! Honestly, just keep your head high and keep trying to get yourself out of the rut. You will make it. Not saying its going to be easy, but like you said I think your ambition will help you a lot. And dont worry about what other people think. How many people do you meet that you will know for the rest of your life? Do you think you will always be looking down on you saying 'tsk tsk you had so many kids so early in life'. Its hard not to think like that, but honestly this is YOUR life. You love your kids, you provide for them, so what right do strangers have to judge? None.
As to what all the previous posters said, from an outside opinion, no one really said anything THAT mean. Honestly I think everyone was just trying to help. Its a forum so not everything people say is going to be puppys and rainbows. But on this particular post there's nothing really that made me go I would just take it with a grain of salt. I dont think anyone said anything purposely trying to be mean, just trying to offer advice.

thank you. this has meant a lot to me. When I reread the post they didn't seem so bad but during my breakdown it was the last thing i wanted to hear. I made it pretty hard. Not sure why because I have never been this emotional. I guess I just felt like I was looked as a bum that just wanted someone to talk to.

amyufo1 · February 2012

MrsSparklebottom:
Have you been lurking since September 2010? How do you know what MUD is?

I'm sorry you're in this situation. It sounds like you and your husband are working hard. However, as PPs said, there are ways to prevent pregnancy if you're willing. I do know some women who are not having intercourse (other sex, yes) with their husbands because they can't afford to get pregnant. Also, if you take the pill correctly and use condoms, the likelihood of getting KU is pretty darn slim.
Anyway, what's done is done and I hope you have a H&H 9 months. Motherhood and pregnancy are hard at any time, let alone when you're broke. But I grew up in a poor working household and I turned out ok. My childhood wasn't perfect and we were always loved.

I created my profile while I was pregnant with my second son because I couldn't seem to have enough to read. I never felt comfortable posting until I felt like I needed someone to talk to. I've never felt as vulnerable and emotional as I do now.

KKSBeans · February 2012

MomiJerz:
meegan71010:

I don't know what MUD is, but I will share my thoughts on this as well. First of all, I am the first one to rip the welfare system up one side and right down the other. I know TOO many people making their living off of government assistance, instead of using it as help until they can get on their feet (which realistically, is what it was intended for)

However, this girl is young and clearly know the mistakes she has made, she spelled them out in her OP. She also appears to know that she is not in the best situation for another child. But it has happened and there isn't much that can be done about. I don't think it is necessary to flame her to the point of tears. This is not the first person that I have witnessed being flamed into hiding and I guess I'm not sure why it's happening ? We are all different walks of life and all in different situations in life, so while I despise the "welfare employed", I would never do this. I realize this is a public message board, where everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I also thought it was here to support each other in a very roller coaster time in our lives ?

To the OP, I wish you a H & H 9 months. I wish the best for you and your family and as long as you are trying to better your situation as opposed to making a living off the government then who am I to judge ? Especially in today's economy.

Most aren't judging !! And some think it's MUD I being one of them!

Lol if we arent buying the story how are we judging or being rude! Lol

Like I said, I don't know what MUD is. Things that are being said aren't horrible, but they are a touch judgemental and I'm just saying, it's not that first time I have seen it happen, so I just wanted to speak up. I have nothing invested in this matter one way or another.

roxyttandme · February 2012

Afunky6:
no one is ever going to say to you 'How dare you live off government assistance'.

Not true. I say this about a lot of people all the time!

Coffee&Cream · February 2012

I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt. You are pregnant, so a bunch of people telling you not to have sex is not helpful.

Firstly, take a deep breath, it's not good for you, your babies or DH if you are this upset.

If you want advice, here it comes, you need a plan. In your first post you said your parents asked you to move with them and you declined. I might reconsider. You have two young children and a third on the way, and neither you or your H are making enough to make ends meet. This isn't about pride, it is about family helping family and you need help.

You guys need help. Even if you lived with them for a year, hard as it may be, it might put you on the road to financial recovery and independence.

You stated that you don't have a college degree, but what about your H? Or a trade school? In order to increase your income to have the financial stability you seek you need to possess a skill, and frankly, it sounds like neither of you do. If you potentially move in with your parents, your H could go back to school to learn a trade. My Uncle was a plumber and made millions, I am not kidding. Plus trade school do help with tuition assistance. I would go to Money Matters on The Nest and post your budget. Those ladies might be able to help you find a few extra dollars.

Your young, you have your whole life ahead of you. I am 10 years older than you and only now pregnant with my first. I can't imagine being in your shoes. But I would try to create a plan to better your future and that means sacrifice that may come in many forms: privacy (if you move in with your parents), pride, long hours of work and school perhaps, but this will be short term for a long term gain: keep your eye on the prize.

And yes, following this pregnancy, go to Planned Parenthood. I have a friend who is a very fertile, and they use two forms of BC to prevent. I might suggest a similar route to you.

Lastly, this is a message board. People are going to be mean as well as nice, you need to take everyone comments with a grain of salt and do what is best for you and your family. Good luck.

mlf625 · February 2012

Here's a thought:

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4236700/ShowForum.aspx

MrsSapphire · February 2012

mlf625:

Here's a thought:

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/4236700/ShowForum.aspx

Definitely something to think about. You are young and seemingly can't afford another child. Adoption may be the best thing for this child at this point.

Regardless, learn to use 2 forms of birth control and avoid having sex during your fertile times and maybe you'll have a better shot at not getting pregnant unexpectedly again. I know you love those babies but you're never going to get yourself up off the ground if you keep having more before you get your life situated.

black.kat · February 2012

Well, here we go again, with the simple explanation that you posted this one a public message board, you brought all of this up, and now you don't like the response. Really?

I know I came off harsh, but AGAIN, without your run-on paragraph I don't know anything about you... now after the paragraph, I see some more things, yet I am worried to comment, because you probably won't like what I have to say.

Give me a break about the pill or whatever you were using "not working" like everyone else has pointed out, that is not reality - sure there is a 1% chance it could be faulty, but I don't buy it. I used birth control from the time I was 16 until I had my first child - never once had a scare, let alone a pregnancy. Like another poster said, either you did something to make it faulty or you aren't using it correctly.

You can take my posts anyway you want, but I have found the real people who give a sh*t aren't the ones that hold you hand and say "ohhh it is okay" they may make you feel good and help you justify, but they really aren't HELPING you in your situation.

It is unfortunate either you SAY Head Start can't help you anymore, OR your Head Start is dropping the ball. You can get free preschool, free early childhood education when you are pregnant and have a baby, donated clothes, financial assistance and support for schooling, donated food, and help finding assistance for housing, electricity, transportation... you name it they dish it out. So like I said, I find it difficult to believe that Head Start can't help you, they are gov ran and the others in this country should be ran the way the same way I ran mine. Maybe you should go back and get some pamphlets to see what you can get.

Stop the pitty party, see where you can get support and help to get back to where you need to be. Go move in with your parents, get assistance, get yourself fixed or more serious birth control or yea, tone it down in that "passionate" relationship you have (my huband looks at me and I am pregnant, so we had to be careful and plan. all of our children have been planned and yes at times, we had to tone it down becuase we couldn't AFFORD to have a child at certain times, we survived).

You are young, you are pregnant, I never pointed a finger at you and said you were a bad person, so get over it. I just gave you information you didn't like, but it is honest and I wish the best for you. But remember next time you want to go to a place where everyong will say "poor you" don't come here or if you do be prepared for some responces that you don't like.

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