Hi ? I?m mostly a lurker, can?t talk to anyone IRL but need to get others opinions.
A friend of mine got divorced around the same time I did, for similar reasons. Basically both of our relationships were struggling with the demands of parenthood, fulltime work and homeownership. We both took little time to nurture our relationships and as a result things fell apart. He (like my ex) became ?friendly? with another woman toward the end of their marriage. I know relationships are complicated so I have kept my mouth shut as only he and his ex really know what happened, but in my mind I sided with her ? I know how my friend is and that his ex took most of the responsibility for managing their family life, home and children.
So today he IM?s me to tell me he lost his job, is moving to GA to be with his girl friend (currently he live in RI ? near his kids) and is asking for a reduction in child support. I am appalled. I do not for a single second understand how he could leave his children and I feel for their mother who will now have no breaks/help from the kids father on a regular basis. I want to tell him how I would feel if my ex made that choice and what it would to me and to our children, but I know deep down, it?s not really my place AND he won?t listen to me. Am I right not to say anything?
Re: I should keep my mouth shut, right???
i wouldn't say anything, unless he asks for your perspective on the situation. then you can tell him how you feel because he solicited that advice from you. but in the meantime. shhhhhhhh.
but since you said he won't listen to you, what's the point anyway.
FIRST: If his income changes substantially, he has the right to as for a reduction in child support payments. As a friend, you *could* tell him to talk to his attorney about it.
As for the rest: Keep your mouth shut.
On a side note: I found it a lot easier not to have my ex involved. I never had to consider him when making any kind of plan. And, I didn't get child support for 6 years. You adjust. It's what we do best.