Anybody else not 'coming out' on FB?

Mayan2011 · February 2012

It just isn't my style. I have cringed at so many pregnancy announcements that I don't now want to turn around and do it to someone else. So many people suffer with IF in silence and there is a very likely possibility that some of the people I am 'friends' with fall into this category - you never know.

I also don't plan on posting u/s or baby pictures on my fb page. I don't like the idea that anyone can grab or creep them (fb is easy to crack) - especially the baby pics.

Am I alone on this?

matthew_elizabeth · February 2012

I don't plan on coming out on FB at all, and I think its fine. I'm not even "coming out" at work (I've told the people that I care about knowing already). I just figured all the nosy people will find out when my belly gets huge. I just don't like the attention.

amandaleigh1 · February 2012

I am not announcing on fb either. Any fb announcement I have seen in the past does nothing but make me cringe. No posting of u/s pics either. I hate those the most. Be careful with your wall though because friends and family keep doing their best to out me there I have considered shutting it down.

Once the baby makes its appearance I will post photos. That is how I like to keep up with nieces and nephews and my whole extended family likes to share this stuff. I already restrict who can see my pictures, and I will probably tighten that up when the time comes.

mandalinn25 · February 2012

I have friends and family all over the world. And I was super open about our struggles with IF and our IVF, so we did announce. And I post photos too. It is the best way for us to keep our loved ones updated. My posts aren't all baby related though. Honestly I think I would hurt more people by not posting. But I can see both sides.

Reilly626 · February 2012

We did and it was such a hit! Im so glad we did, we got so many great accolades. Like my husband said, we should not be ashamed of our joy and happiness that many others have celebrated. I cannot be responsible for everyone's feelings and vice versa. I even had a friend who is going thru IVF contact me for support and advice.

07may07 · February 2012

Mayan2011:

It just isn't my style. I have cringed at so many pregnancy announcements that I don't now want to turn around and do it to someone else. So many people suffer with IF in silence and there is a very likely possibility that some of the people I am 'friends' with fall into this category - you never know.

I also don't plan on posting u/s or baby pictures on my fb page. I don't like the idea that anyone can grab or creep them (fb is easy to crack) - especially the baby pics.

Am I alone on this?

Definitely not alone on this. While most of my close friends and family know of the difficulties MH and I went through, I completely agree with the bolded part above, (at least for me). I would feel horrible if any of my friends may be suffering silently with IF and I contributed to any hurt.

I likely will post pictures of the babies after they arrive. I guess once the babies are here I would think it was strange if I didn't acknowledge them. But, I don't post tons of pictures or status updates as it is now, so I likely won't be much different after the babies are here.

ifitwillmakeyouhappier · February 2012

I'm so glad you posted this because I've been really struggling with this. So far I have kept pretty quiet about our news. As a previous poster said, I haven't even made a grand announcement at work and certainly haven't said anything on FB.

And most days I have pretty mixed feelings about it. The infertile in me remembers how much those posts hurt. The compassionate side of me thinks about friends who have recently had loses and worries how an announcement would make them feel.

But then there's that part of me that doesn't want IF to steal any more of my joy. I have so many friends who will be so genuinely happy for us and I would truly love for them to know. I think about our siblings - who will all be first time aunts and uncles - and I know they have wanted to post about it and share their excitement. Am I letting IF steal their joy too?

We are going tomorrow for our elective gender ultrasound and all along I've said if I was going to post the news - it would be once we have a gender. Yet I still feel so conflicted about what to do.

reb259 · February 2012

Mayan2011:

It just isn't my style. I have cringed at so many pregnancy announcements that I don't now want to turn around and do it to someone else. So many people suffer with IF in silence and there is a very likely possibility that some of the people I am 'friends' with fall into this category - you never know.

I also don't plan on posting u/s or baby pictures on my fb page. I don't like the idea that anyone can grab or creep them (fb is easy to crack) - especially the baby pics.

Am I alone on this?

Speaking of FB...why are we not friends?!

leolyns · February 2012

I did but it was on New Year's Day when I figured most wouldn't be checking (I was wrong, ha-ha) but I haven't made many pregnant related status updates; except for when someone is really smelly on the train I take home.

naybird · February 2012

reb259:
Mayan2011:

It just isn't my style. I have cringed at so many pregnancy announcements that I don't now want to turn around and do it to someone else. So many people suffer with IF in silence and there is a very likely possibility that some of the people I am 'friends' with fall into this category - you never know.

I also don't plan on posting u/s or baby pictures on my fb page. I don't like the idea that anyone can grab or creep them (fb is easy to crack) - especially the baby pics.

Am I alone on this?

Speaking of FB...why are we not friends?!

And reb, why are we not fb friends????

reb259 · February 2012

naybird:
reb259:
Mayan2011:

It just isn't my style. I have cringed at so many pregnancy announcements that I don't now want to turn around and do it to someone else. So many people suffer with IF in silence and there is a very likely possibility that some of the people I am 'friends' with fall into this category - you never know.

I also don't plan on posting u/s or baby pictures on my fb page. I don't like the idea that anyone can grab or creep them (fb is easy to crack) - especially the baby pics.

Am I alone on this?

Speaking of FB...why are we not friends?!

And reb, why are we not fb friends????

YGPM!! Both of you...

missjul61 · February 2012

I'm not planning to announce on FB re: the pregnancy but I think I will probably post pics of the baby. That's our main form of communication w/ some family and friends. We'll see though.

naybird · February 2012

I did a FB announcement. I have a huge family and they are spread out all over the place. Same with friends. So it's a good way to keep in contact.

Most people knew of our struggles already, because my m/c resulted in my almost passing, and spending a week in the hopsital. So it's never been a big secret.

When I made my announcement I was completley truthful and said that my 5th IVF finally worked. Everyone has been extremely happy for me and a couple of friends have reached out about their IF experiences too.

I try to not be too annoying with my posts, but friends and family ask me for pics and updates.

I forgot to add, I have 2 cousins who have gone through failed IVFs and are still struggling and I sent them both messages beforehand letting them know that I was pregnant and also letting them know I was going to be announcing it. I honestly tried to be as sensitive as possible. Both cousins were thrilled for me though.

Mayan2011 · February 2012

Thanks for sharing ladies.

I know the deicision to come out or not on fb is completely personal and that people choose to or not for different reasons. From the posts I have seen on this board - many ladies choose to announce their pregnancy. I have just never seen a post where people discuss not coming out on fb, so I thought I would start one. I was curious to know if others had similar feelings.

drubie · February 2012

I totally understand not doing a big pregnancy announcement, but we shared our IF struggles with FB from very early on, and also several posts about our IVF, so I knew I would want to share good news, too. I do still post about infertility, though, and have actually had a few friends message me about IF questions.

lovebug33 · February 2012

I'm not doing a huge deal, but when we find out what flavor we are having, I am going to announce. Not a huge thing, just a we are having a baby and thanks everyone who prayed for us. I have a lot of family that I don't want to call everybody individually, so I am going to do facebook.

thebeadinglady · February 2012

We have been really open about our whole IF journey on FB. I plan on coming out on FB at the beginning of the 2nd trimester and I am going to do it in a way that makes it clear this wasn't an accident. I was surprised how many people contacted me after DH and I came out about IVF on FB last year and told me they had been through something similar. I will probably also post way too many pictures, but I do that with everything.

blueberries8 · February 2012

Mayan2011:
It just isn't my style. I have cringed at so many pregnancy announcements that I don't now want to turn around and do it to someone else. So many people suffer with IF in silence and there is a very likely possibility that some of the people I am 'friends' with fall into this category - you never know.

I also don't plan on posting u/s or baby pictures on my fb page. I don't like the idea that anyone can grab or creep them (fb is easy to crack) - especially the baby pics.

Am I alone on this?

Same, same, same. I never intend on making a fb pregnancy announcement (I may post a birth announcement when hopefully the babies arrive here intact). If a picture of me pregnant gets posted on fb, I will not go to lengths to delete it, but I have no desire to post a pregnancy announcement...just not my style.

Anyone important in my life will find out by word-of-mouth the good old fashioned way or by seeing me in person. I think fb pregnancy announcements can of course be downright insensitive and this might be flameworthy, but sometimes I think they may be even worse when they mention specifics of an IF struggle because women always compare themselves and you never know if someone out there on your friends list actually had it a whole lot worse than you, YKWIM?

And yes, I know this is a hugely un-PC thing to say and it's not where I am at in my life right now, but at my lowest low I would have felt sad and sorry for myself even reading the pregnancy announcement of someone who succeeded on their first IVF.

JennPierog · February 2012

I never did. I eventually made a comment about going to a "diaper changing class" (baby care class) at 35 weeks so people started to get the hint. But over all I can't stand posts for 9mths about peoples pregnancy's so I choose not to post about mine

Ya Never Know · February 2012

I didn't announce of FB, but my DH did. I wasn't a fan of having my u/s pic on the internet, but DH was excited so I let it go.

I have seen some cute ways to announce on FB that aren't so 'in your face' if you will...

My bff took the fruit ticker pics from the bump and posted them as her profile pics until people eventually caught on to what the ever changing fruits in her profile meant. I thought that was cute and subtle.

DeputiesWife · February 2012

::raises hand::

we will probably post baby pictures when the time comes.

I will not be making a special announcement.

We (read I) are open about our IF and our struggles. We have family and friends on our FB's that are in our hometown (we moved in 2002) so we will like to share the pictures the baby and they'd like to see also.

TJ1979 · February 2012

matthew_elizabeth:
I don't plan on coming out on FB at all, and I think its fine. I'm not even "coming out" at work (I've told the people that I care about knowing already). I just figured all the nosy people will find out when my belly gets huge. I just don't like the attention.

Me too. I don't even have a facebook account, but MH does. I have told him I don't want any grand announcements on there. If someone happens to mention it, I suppose it will get out. But not by MH or I.

mandalinn25 · February 2012

I think the biggest thing for me is that we all have to do what we are comfortable with. If you want to share, share; if you don't, don't. I was one of those IF girls that actually got upset when people treated me like I was some damaged flower who couldn't hear pregnancy news. I had my own sister do that to me and it was extremely hard. And I also don't feel that infertility should be hidden, we have to break the stigma, but again I understand why others aren't open. Everyone's journey is different and no one should be made to feel bad about sharing or not. Of course this is just my opinion though. Hugs to you all.

krismott25 · February 2012

we did come out on facebook but only to share a link to our blog. we live away from our entire family and friends but still wanted them to be able to follow the pregnancy and the twins early life. but i made for certain that i explained that we have waited a long time for this and we had struggles. i didn't go into the gory details to much. i don't want to be that annoying post every day about the babies progress, how bad i feel, ya know all that annoying fb crap. but it was the easiest way to get our link to our friends and family. now i just do a weekly post on the blog and whoever wants to read it can read it. i agree though so many people do suffer in silence but i always found hope in the success stories. as long as its done tastefully and not smashed in peoples faces i think its ok. but totally understand not wanting to paste it all over. there will be no belly pictures of me on my fb page!!

TotallyLoCo · February 2012

I did a FB announcement. I struggled with it too but there were certain people who I wanted to know (for example, cousins I don't talk to much). But, that's pretty much the only time I've mentioned the pregnancy on there, other than some more vague references. I never posted u/s pics since I'm not comfortable showing pictures of my insides on FB, and I think most u/s pics look alike anyway! And I used to hate it when people would give constant updates on their pregnancy. I have had a few people ask to see a bump pic so I might put one up soon.

We will put up pics of the baby when he comes though... so many people have already asked us to do that and it's easier to do that than to try emailing a ton of people and/or have people harassing us for pics.

labbylover03 · February 2012

I'm not either. I'm not real active on fb to begin with so I'm definitely not making a big pregnancy announcement. Definitely a personal decision though.

AshleyC0117 · February 2012

I'm 29 weeks and I never came out on Facebook. I just really never had the urge to do it. The only downside is that I run into some people and they're totally shocked I'm pregnant!

Jackie2200 · February 2012

I was considering making an announcement with the twins and I lost them so I never made one with them and never mentioned losing them either so I've basically stayted away from FB since then. Everyone that needed to know I was pg. knew and same when I lost them.

With this pregnancy, I'm not announcing either. I hated the AWs who make every post about thier pregnancy and baby. I don't want to do that to anyone. Someone tagged me in a photo from last weeked and a girl that I met through a pregnancy loss support group mentioned my baby bump and I didn't delete it but that's the extent of my pregnancy mentions on FB.

I think the whole thing is a bunch of crap anyway but I'm sort of anti-FB after finding out via FB that my sister had her kid.

snoangel79 · February 2012

Came out at 29W!! haha A picture of me and my announcement. That is all! Don't plan on posting till they give birth.

babystinkbreath · February 2012

I never did an annoucement but i did post pictures of the baby shower and I posted one bump picture from the holidays, but that was it. never have mentioned being pg in any of my statuses, etc. I will make an announcement and post pictures when the baby arrives too.

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