Need an outlet..

laurenbuniak · February 2012

Hi girls! I just needed an outlet to vent for a second and maybe get some opinions. I'm currently going through some family drama which itself is stressful and annoying..on top of that my fiance' got the promotion his job has been dangling over his head for about a year now..which means he will be working 7 days (yes, 7 days) every single week. On top of that, going to school til 11pm right after work 3 nights a week. He works 3rd shift now and I hate it. I wanted nothing more then for him to switch to day shift. (I get very anxious and paranoid being home alone at night 11pm-7am so I don't sleep good) I'm very lucky with my job..I work full-time but get paid summers off from May-September. With him being gone so much coming up, we don't think we want to put our son in day care. (I'm due in April now with our first born.) so he thinks it might be better to just not come back next fall and stay at home full time. While at first that sounds great because this promotion is more then doubling his income, I'm very nervous Sad I know I'd LOVE to be home with my son everyday but just the thought of being home every single day alone and not making my own money is just...unnatural to me. I've always been a very independent person. I can't imagine having to rely on his money alone. Am I being crazy? Any SAHM's have any thoughts or can tell me how you make it work?

DowagerCountessofNJ · February 2012

Just because you're a SAHM doesn't mean you have to be stuck in the house all day. There are plenty of things to do once your son gets a bit older and when he's teeny tiny he's so portable.

I definitely understand where you're coming from as far as not having your own cash flow. Could you go part time at your current employer or do a work from home set up? I will tell you though work from home with a kid isn't all it's cracked up to be...I did it until my daughter was 6 months and the last 2-3 months sucked. Nothing at work was getting done and I felt like she wasn't getting the attention she deserved and I was just frazzled 24/7. Going part-time though poses its own problems, most daycare centers don't accept infants on a part-time basis and if they do it's still at the full time rate ($$$$). You could see if a neighbor would be willing to watch him or if a friend knows of someone who does in home daycare.

The biggest question you need to answer though is what do YOU want to do? I don't even think you need to make the decision until your son is here and you've had a few months to get into the swing of things. Once you answer it and you're happy with it you'll find a way to make everything else fall into place.

laurenbuniak · February 2012

Thanks doll

I just feel so overwhelmed by everything. I have no idea. Literally NO clue. I can't work from home, they nixed that real quick. I guess I could go back to serving at a restaurant somewhere 2 or 3 nights a week, even though that sounds less then thrilling and more annoying then anything. We don't really have any neighbors we even talk to, let alone that could watch our kid. (We live in a very "old" development) My family works full time as does his so that's out. I just have been hearing such awful stories about daycares..and it really makes me nervous and not wanting to put him in one (He'd be about 5-6 months when I went back to work if I did)

DowagerCountessofNJ · February 2012

I know exactly how you feel about daycares...that's why I held off as long as I did with sending Sophia to someone else.

Honestly though, if you're not happy with whatever situation you've come up with it's no good for everyone, including LO. If waiting tables is going to annoy and stress you out then it clearly isn't the right way to go.

The crappy economy sure doesn't help things either...it's not like you can give SAHM a trial run and if it's not for you just jump back into working again.

What do you do now?

laurenbuniak · February 2012

I know! It's so tough getting a job now, it's insane. I've been in this company for almost 10 years. I'm a sales auditor for a corporate office. We're in charge of all the easter bunny & santa sets in all the malls in all the US, Canada..etc. Who knows. I'm also becoming fed up with certain situations happening here so I'm at a point where it's like whatever..I'll be glad to stay home with Mason and just deal. There's an LA Fitness down the street from our house who has huge billboards saying they're hiring receptionists and others..maybe I could get hired there after maternity leave just for a few nights a week or something. They're open 24 hours.

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