really hard day (long vent)
Four of my very closest friends (three were bridesmaids in my wedding and the other is a friend from high school, that is now my neighbor, AND went through IF hell with me) are all having babies. The first gave birth last thursday, another gave birth yesterday, the third is being induced next week, and the last is due the first week of April.
I have spent several days at the hospital holding new sweet babies. Three of my friends are sensitive to my struggles with IF and the fourth is clueless. I almost feel like she is rubbing it in. I know she would never say or do anything to intentionally hurt me, but I just can't talk to her. She was talking to me today about how excited she is about all the new babies, and giving me details about her pregnant teenage students. I had to cut her off. Hang up, and literally scream! I burst into tears and had a much needed cry. I love her dearly, but she is very hard to talk to right now.
It doesn't help that we officially turned down an adoptive situation today. I know it was the right choice for us, but it was still so hard to say no. I'm just freaking sad, and I want a big neon sign to fall down from the sky that says . "YES! You will be a mom!"
Thanks for letting me vent.. I think I'm gonna cry some more now 
Re: really hard day (long vent)
Bad days are all too frequent in this journey. Hugs to you.
I am really sorry you are having such a tough time. We have all been where you are with the same thoughts and worries. Sending prayers your way. Just remember all of this pain and heartache will be worth it when you are holding your own baby in your arms one day. I hope that is very soon.
Can we be that big neon sign? Does the internet count as the sky? Because I'm pretty positive YOU WILL BE A MOM!
And I'm sure, when you look back, you'll be grateful you had to wait for the precious child you're intended to raise. It's gonna happen.
Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
PAIF/SAIF Welcome
Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
Homestudy 7/19/2011
IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frosties
I'm so sorry, sweetie. It's coming for you, I know it is. I also know that's little comfort right now, but it's the truth.
Hang in there, and don't feel bad if you need to isolate yourself from your friends and their babies for a little while. Take care of you. I'm sure they have lots of friends and family celebrating with them now. When things have normalized, they're excitement will be more contained, and you'll be in a better place to spend time with them.
Again, you will be a mom. Thoughts and good vibes and prayers coming your way!
This. Believe me, no one had more doubts about all of this craziness than me- the entire way through, up until I was saying hello to our birthmom. If it can happen for me, it WILL happen for you : ) Big hugs. I'm sory you are having a tough day. We've all been there...