Scared I'm Doing Everything Wrong

namara5532 · February 2012

Maybe I'm just listening to other people too much, but as a FTM I'm the first to admit I may not know what I'm doing. I feel like at every turn there's something about my parenting that gets questioned. First, I'm spoiling DS by not letting him cry it out from day one to get him used to sleeping in the crib. Then I'm starving him by letting him sleep a little extra when he's recovering from my mom wearing him out by letting him cry instead of waking me to feed him. I find a way to get some sleep by letting him sleep in the moby with me because he refuses to be put down, but now apparently that's bad for him too, even though I tie it loose enough and make sure there's no fabric covering his face.

There's only so much of these criticisms I can take before I feel like I can't do anything right. Maybe it's the baby blues talking, but I need affirmation that my methods aren't spoiling, starving, and/or suffocating my baby.

talitha712 · February 2012

You're doing great! Babies that little are too young to cry it out. They're still learning you will take care of then and crying is the only way they have to communicate something is wrong. If your LO is back up to birthweight there's no need to wake to feed. Babies will wake up and let you know when they are hungry. The Moby is great. Baby wearing happens in the majority of other cultures and at this age it feels safe and comfortable because they've just spent the past nine months inside you. You know what's best for your baby!

SmittyPants · February 2012

It is impossible to spoil a baby that young. Anyone who thinks otherwise is misinformed. Babies that little don't understand cause and effect so trying to sleep train them or have them cry it out will not work. You just have to roll with what they want, when they want it. They're tiny tyrants that way. Eventually though, they find a rhythm and it gets easier.

As for second guessing yourself, DON'T. You may not think so, but I promise that you know your baby better than anyone else. If you think he's hungry, or tired, or wants to be held, nine times out of ten you'll be right (that tenth time when you're wrong is because sometimes even the babies don't know what they want).

Listen to your instincts and you'll be fine. Do what works for you and your family. These first few weeks are all about simply surviving. You'll get the hang of things soon enough.

ETA: I just want to say that no FTM knows what she's doing and if she says she does, she's a dirty liar. Stop talking to her immediately and go have a glass of wine. :-)

SoonToBeMsP · February 2012

SmittyPants:
It is impossible to spoil a baby that young. Anyone who thinks otherwise is misinformed. Babies that little don't understand cause and effect so trying to sleep train them or have them cry it out will not work. You just have to roll with what they want, when they want it. They're tiny tyrants that way. Eventually though, they find a rhythm and it gets easier.
As for second guessing yourself, DON'T. You may not think so, but I promise that you know your baby better than anyone else. If you think he's hungry, or tired, or wants to be held, nine times out of ten you'll be right (that tenth time when you're wrong is because sometimes even the babies don't know what they want).
Listen to your instincts and you'll be fine. Do what works for you and your family. These first few weeks are all about simply surviving. You'll get the hang of things soon enough.
ETA: I just want to say that no FTM knows what she's doing and if she says she does, she's a dirty liar. Stop talking to her immediately and go have a glass of wine. :-)

All of this... Especially the last part. You're doing great, so keep on keeping on!

lp0 · February 2012

Sounds like you're doing things right to me. PP is right, listen to your instincts. You know what your baby needs. If I ever have doubts I always tell myself that stupid people have babies all the time and they survive. Don't be so hard on yourself and it may be a good idea for your sanity to tell your critics to back off.

megaloo27 · February 2012

You are doin great! Even if you did "spoil" your Lo, it's not the end of the world. Just use your gut. You will figure out what signs your baby is giving you, and how to respond accordingly. I'm am just now figuring out her "I'm hungry" cry.

Kristine Schilling · February 2012

to young to cry it out.... all the advocates of CIO agree it does not work until baby is older. You can work on crib time a little bit at a time when its quiet, calm and conductive to making baby comfortable.

waking baby to eat will just stress you and baby. let your LO sleep at night.

follow the directions on the moby wrap, it should be snug.

advice: smile and nod, then do what you feel is right.

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